(spencerreidxreader)

-17-

You can tell a lot about someone by how the deal with their problems. Spencer, he pushes them aside, he focuses on things to distract him from the pain. You, you would dwell in it and let in consume you. Neither was good, and both of you wanted desperately to have the others coping mechanism.

Spencer's hand flew down the page, the third book in the past two hours. He sat on your bed, like he had been for the past two days, he would have to leave tomorrow, go back to work, it would be Monday and you knew he couldn't take another leave of absence. "There's no way you read that fast," you said resting your head on his shoulder. He smiled softly, you hadn't told him any details. You remembered everything but the faces, but to spare him the burden of knowing what they did to you, you said you didn't remember. "I can, you know, the average book contains 90,000-100,000 words which means I could read an entire book in 4.5 to 5 minutes, considering I can read at an average rate of 20,000 words per minute." He paused taking a short breath "Although I do often like to analyze and reread portions of it, novels often have far more depth and meaning then is commonly perceived-" You pressed into him wrapping your arms around him.

"So you're really genius, huh-" You teased, pulling at a loose string on his sweater, you felt him nod against your head. "Spencer, I'm sorry." You felt his weight shift beneath you, pushing himself out from under you, you say up as he turned to face you. "For what?" He said dryly. "For putting you through this." You gestured at yourself.

"Y/N, no- no don't apologize, I love you, I love you so much, I want to be here for you. It's my job to protect you." You paused watching as his facial expressions forcibly softened.
"Spencer, you say that but then you're only ever here between cases. That part of your life consumes you." You found these words spilling out of your mouth, these thoughts you didn't know you possessed.
"I am dedicated to you Y/N, yes my job takes up a lot of my time, but the rest of it, it's you- you and your life." You felt tears sting your eyes
"Only after I got hurt, before that it was just cases and quick dates in between."
"Y/N- you knew that's what my life is like, they need me, i'm a necessary asset to the team." You nodded.
"I know- I know, I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that-" You began to cry, much like you had on Friday evening "I'm sorry Spence.. I know you try-" He nodded, standing up and walking to your side of the bed, you stood up too, wrapping your arms around him, breathing in the earthy cologne on his sweater "The doctor said march second." You said into his chest "that's nineteen days away."
"You think sleeping with me will solve your trauma?" He murmured into your head.
"I think it will make me feel normal again, at least for a little bit." You felt him sigh.
"Sex does release serotonin into the body but so does high protein foods and exercise, maybe do some yoga."
"You don't want to sleep with me Reid?"
"Of course I do, but I don't want to do that until you're actually ready." He kissed you gently, holding you like a delicate paper doll.
"I am ready."
"You think you are." You cupped his face in yours, and for a moment you forgot about everything and it was just you and Spencer, holding each other, loving each other, bonded beyond a mortal level. And then the world came crashing down around you again. Spencer pulled his phone from his pocket. "Doctor Spencer Reid." "Mhm" "Hotch- she.. she- no I understand," "I know, I'll be there in thirty." He looked down at you with sad eyes "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Doctor," You said kissing his cheek. "Go, save a victim, catch a killer." You helped him pack his go bag, kissing him again at the door.
"Don't leave the house, for the love of god, stay inside please." You nodded "the fridge is fully stocked and i shouldn't be gone for long, this looks like a standard dominant and submissive partner spree." You looked at him pitifully. His precious mind shouldn't know so much evil.

"Update me when you land, okay. I'll let you know if anything happens." He smiled as he slipped out the door. He popped his head in one last time.

"Please let me know if you get another letter. Its crucial to the investigation. Love you," You stood. Speechless as he half smirked half smiled and closed the door behind hime.

"L-Love you too-"

AN sorry this chapter is short! more coming tomorrow (hopefully)