Changing is hard

Part 49

"Mom" I hear Henrys voice and look at him. He walks up to me and takes my hand. I look at Tink and Snow for a moment and both of them have tears in their eyes.
"Please mom." Henry starts and makes me look at him again. He has tears in his eyes as well and I can't take it. I can't look in his sad eyes knowing I am the reason why they are turning up so I look up at the ceiling. I take a deep breath and put my free hand on my stomach.
"Please put it back mom." Henry pleads with me and I shake my head. I would do anything for my little prince but not this. It just feels too good to not feel the pain. It feels too good to not feel anything.
"I am sorry, Henry..." I start before he interrupts me.
"I know you are in pain." he starts again and I take a deep breath.
"I know that you feel sad about your mom but at the same time you hate yourself for it. You feel like you don't have a right to mourn her because she wasn't a good person. But mom you are allowed to feel sad and angry and all the things you are feeling. You are allowed to mourn her because she was your mom."
I shake my head once again because I can't trust my voice right now and I hate it. I hate that I am still an emotional mess even without my heart in my chest. I hate feeling weak in front of him. I can't let him see me like this. He's already been through too much at such a young age. I can't let him see me break down. I can't and dont want to do that to him and to me. I want to pull my hand back and transport myself away. Henry senses that ans holds my hand even harder than before. He steps between Ruby and me. I look to my right so I dont have to look at him or Ruby but now I am faced with Snow and David. Snow has tears in her eyes as well which doesnt make the situation any easier to be honest. Snow takes a step forward and takes my free hand in hers while Henry is still holding on to the other one. I can't handle looking at them either so I turn my head to the left. I am somehow not surprised that I am greeted by Tinks tearstained face. Why are there so many people cornering me? I take a deep breath and Henry starts talking again.
"Mom, it's okay to feel everything that you are feeling right now. It's okay not to be okay and you dont have to be the strong one. Please put your heart back."
I look at him and see tears running down his cheeks. Great, now everyone is crying. This is not the way I wanted this morning to turn out at all.
"I..." I start with my voice being a little raspy.
"I don't know if I can Henry." I finish.
"Yes you can Regina." Now its apparently Snows turn to speak while squeezing my hand a little hit.
"It's going to hurt." She continues.
"You'll probably regret your decision as soon as your heart is back in its rightful place but you are gonna get through this. You are one of the strongest people I know and we are going to be there with you every step of the way."
"You are mot alone." Tink continues with a supporting smile.
"We will stay by your side. We will be there when you need to lash out and when you need to break down because everything gets too much."
"No matter what you do or say we will stand by your side." Ruby takes over and I look into her eyes and I can see nothing but honesty and dare I say it love.
"We will do all that because we love you." she continues.