Glee, Actually

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Sam and Haley were talking in a corner of the hallway, when Brittany came skipping towards them, a smile on her face. Saley, just the couple I was looking for." She said.

"We have a ship name now?" Sam asked, as Haley chuckled and looked at Britt.

"What's up Britt?" Haley asked.

"Here are two tickets for a summer's trip to Paris." Brittany practically shoved the tickets into the couple's hands.

"Oh wow...Um...Britt, what the heck are you doing?" Haley asked, as her and Sam exchanged a confused glance.

"Hum, well, last week, Lord Tubbington and I were watching a documentary about the Mayan Apocalypse. I learned that it arrives December 21, 2012. I decided to cash in all my savings so I, my family and my friends could live our lives to our fullest, in the final days that we have. Merry Christmas!" Brittany said, running off.

"Brittany! Wait!" Haley sighed, as the girl kept on running down the hallway. She turned to Sam who was about to ask something regarding the apocalypse. "No Sam, it isn't real, so here's the deal. We are just going to play along with Britt's whole theory, and that'll be her gift this year." She explained, as Sam agreed to the deal.
----
Haley sat in Brittany's bedroom, as the innocent girl sat with her on her bed.

"So, Britt, tell me more about this Mayan Apocalypse?" Haley asked, as Brittany smiled, suddenly pulling out graphs and standing up.

"So, listen...The documentary said 2012 is the year that Kim II-Sung, founder of North Korea, would've turned 100. Divide 100 by ten, the percentage of Americans that believe the world will end on the 21st of December, and you get ten...Mexico's rank in the world as a tourist destination, whose president expects the Maan Apocalypse to attract 52 million people to his country. It's all right there. All anyone has to do is look at the numbers."

"Wow, Britt, I wasn't expecting this full breakdown. Thank you." Haley started, as she thought about how her and Sam were playing along with Brittany's theory.

"And we need to purify ourselves for the last day of b'ak'tun, the 144,000-day cycle of the Mayan Calendar." Brittany added.

"Okay, how are we going to do that?" Haley asked.

"We need to tell everyone we know how we really feel about them," Brittany said. "Oh and Sam and you are going to tie the  knot."

"Huh, what?" Haley asked.
----
"Sam!" Brittany called as she caught up to him.

"Yeah, Britt? What's up?" He turned around, to look at her.

"Well, I have a favor to ask since the Mayan Apocalypse is upon us." She said.

Sure, Sam was well aware of the two nights of conversation with Haley on how they were going to play along with Britt's theory, on how they would do what they asked. Both him and Haley knew that Brittany's bright capacity was limited, and her mood was always increasing every Christmas. This Christmas it was really arising.

"Yes. I do. What about it?" He finally asked.

"I want the world to end on a positive note, to see my wishes come true. My number one wish is to see you and Haley get engaged, and married."

"What?....okay.." Sam, muttered. His mind was racing with a thousand thoughts right now. "I mean, it would give me practice though right?" He thought to himself.

"Sure, Britt. I'll propose to Haley and we will get married. If that is what your wish is." He said, playing along.

"Awesome!" Brittany said, as Sam walked to find Haley, so they could discuss their plan.
----
"You guys, welcome to the first meeting of the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse Club." Brittany announced as all the Glee Club gathered in the library.

"Wait, that's what this is?" Tina asked.

"It looks a lot like Glee. Just go along with it." Haley whispered, as Tina nodded.

"Don't worry, it's also the last meeting. Because we're all so close,, I wanted to bring you here so I could finally tell you my true feelings about you. Tina, acting is a pip dream for you, and your decision to pursue it as a career is both irresponsible and shocking. Joe, you haven't really made much of an impression on me, and I don't really know what your deal is." Brittany said.

"Wait a second. This is the worst club ever." Ryder said.
"We're not gonna just sit here and let you insult us." Marley pointed out.

"Britt." Haley muttered. "It's going a little bit too far."

"I wasn't gonna insult you. All I wanted to tell you guys was that I think you're delightful. Guys, you can't leave yet! You're gonna miss the best part!" Brittany protested.

"Okay, Merry Christmas, Brittany." Jake said, unamused.

"Guys, we're not even gonna make it to Christmas. I can't believe how naive they are." Brittany sighed, as she leaned against Haley.

"Oh honey." Haley said playing along, stroking Brittany's hair. "Some people just can't face the cold, hard fact that this earth is really just the back of a giant crocodile that's destroyed and recreated every 500 years."

"Yeah, but you know what?" Sam asked, smiling. "At least we have each other."

"He's right, sweetie." Haley agreed, knowing what was going to come next, hence Sam had told her to act surprised.

"And since the world is gonna end before Christmas, in the meantime, this will have to do." Sam explained, as he sang, while the Cheerios, danced.

{JINGLE BELL ROCK-SUNG BY SAM EVANS}

"Well done, baby!" Haley cheered, as Brittany went to hide, so she could watch the couple from afar.

Haley put on an act, as she acted surprised, when Sam pulled out a small box from his pocket.

"And here's another rock." Sam said, as he got down on one knee, Haley gasped. "Haley Elena Aldrin, before the world ends, will you marry me?"

Haley, going along with the plan, smiled. "Yes, Sam Evans. I'll marry you." She answered as he pulled her into a kiss.

Sam couldn't help but think how he was going to be doing this for real in a few months, the prospect of it, made him anxious, but seeing how the fake proposal had gone well, he knew he'd be fine.
----
"Are you absolutely sure you're qualified to marry Sam and Haley?" Brittany asked, as she stood beside Sam and Coach Beiste.

"You betcha, kiddo. I went on a Mayan Church website and I got ordained. If you kids are really serious about doing this." Coach Beiste said.

"Yeah." Sam said. "I want Hay, and I to meet Q'uq'umatz, the feathered snake god, together."

"Look guys, I'm all for this Q'uq'umatz thing...but if I may be blunt, it really reeks in here." Haley spoke as she came from behind the lockers approaching them.

Sam took a minute to take in Haley's fake wedding dress. Haley wore a simplistic white wedding dress that suited her small figure. Her hair was braided and pinned back, and her flower crown she wore matched Sam's flower boutonniere on his tux.  He thought she looked even more beautiful, as she walked over to them. She sent him a smile, as he smiled back.

"Put your hands here." Coach Beiste instructed the two, holding an old book up, that Haley had retrieved from the library earlier.

"Your vows?" Brittany asked, as Sam and Haley nodded, going along with her wish.

"Haley, I always thought you were super hot, really smart, kind, and very genuine." He began, as Haley teared up, at the way he was looking at her with love and pure genuinity in his eyes. "But what I didn't know was that you were going to end up being my soul mate. Who knows what the future holds for us? Probably tsunamis and horrible sea monsters. But now, I'm not worried about that, because I have you."

Haley smiled, as she cursed herself for getting emotional over a fake wedding. "Sam, when I first met you when you joined Glee Club, I knew you were special. You are kind, loyal, smart, hot, and supportive and I can't tell you how excited I am to become your Mayan star-wife."

"You may kiss your bride." Coach Beiste said, holding up a branch of mistletoe, as Sam leaned down to give her a kiss.

"Yay!" Brittany squealed.

As the couple pulled apart, she sent them a look. "It's December 18. Three days till the end. So make this time and your final moments count."
-----
"Wait so you and Sam aren't married?" Brittany asked four days later.

"No sweetie, we aren't. Coach Beiste told us earlier today. The Mayan Church websites are non existent, meaning that the Mayans were wiped out 5000 years ago by the conquistadors and smallpox." Haley explained, as Sam nodded.

"That's like chicken pox, but smaller." He added.

"That's horrible...I wanted to feel good, and feel special by helping you get married and prepared to face the Q'uq'umatz together. It was all a lie, and that means Christmas and Santa and reindeers are lies too." Brittany whined.
"Oh honey, no.. Listen to me, please. If we are to be honest, Sam and I loved getting married, and knowing that we had made your wish come true. Just because that didn't work out, doesn't mean you aren't a special person, you matter." Haley said.

"Very true." Sam added.

"And when Sam and I do get married in a few years, or whenever that day approaches, you will have a special part in it, alright?" Haley asked, as Brittany nodded.

"Alright." Brittany said, smiling.

"I'm glad I have you two, it can get lonely. But here's to more days of brutal honesty and apocalypses. I'm going to put Lord Tubbington to bed." Brittany said, leaving the two laughing.

"She's quite the daughter." Haley muttered, as Sam chuckled, wrapping his arms around her.

"That she is. We just bought her another year of pure innocence." He replied.

"Our pure innocent Brittany." Haley sighed, as she swore she saw Brittany talking to the shrubs outside. "I swear that she's talking to shrubs right now as we speak." Haley pointed out as Sam laughed, leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you, Merry Christmas Haley." He told her.

"I love you too, Merry Christmas." She replied as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
••••

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