Overwhelmed

hewo

"Oh my god, y/n."

"I'm back," I mumble weakly. His face lights up as I let him awkwardly wrap his arms around me. 

"Are- are you okay?"

"Yeah..." There's an awkward pause as we both recall the events that led to this situation. "I'm sorry, Clay. I just- I didn't know what else to do."

"I understand, moo. I'm not angry. I'm just glad you're still here."

"How did you find me?" I don't mean to bring up what I'm sure is a rather unpleasant memory, but I'm curious. He was never supposed to come back.

"I don't know, moo. For some reason, I just remembered when you told me you wished you were dead too and-" His voice falters. "I knew that's what you were going to do. I thought I was too late," he admits, shifting his gaze to the floor below him.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything, Clay."

~time skip~
*a few weeks later*

I had to take a break from swim for a little while. My parents came to care for me and I was sent to a counselling program twice a week. It wasn't too bad. Clay stayed with me every step of the way. He stayed at my house more than his to the point where my dad set up an entire bedroom for him with one of our extra mattresses. 

Tonight is going to be the first time I stream since before prelims. If I thought my fans were impatient last time, this was much worse. I've been receiving all sorts of hate messages demanding more content. It doesn't bother me all that much this time, though. I know that I needed this time off.

"Hey, you're gonna do great," Clay states, jumping onto my bed while I spin around in my new computer chair. He tosses a pillow at me, but I just catch it and chuck it back at his face.

"I know... I just don't want any questions about why I've been gone." He sighs then stands from my sheets. I watch as he walks toward me, smirking. 

"If that happens, then I'll interrupt the dono and say something embarrassing about myself. Besides, you already let the mods know that you don't want those types of messages." Now behind me, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and buries his face in my neck. 

I sigh and sit back. "Okay, I'm ready. See you soon." He smiles then leaves for his apartment. On the way out, he winks at me and taps his nose with three fingers. The same sign I taught him. I didn't realize he would remember after so much time.

I hit start on the stream and people immediately begin filing in. "Hi guys. God, it's been so long. How are you all doing?" It doesn't take long for the donos to start rolling in. My mod team seems to be doing a really good job at keeping things civil in chat.

A ping on my discord alerts me that someone has joined. "Heyyyyyy! How's it going?" Nick's voice rings out happily. He knows the basics of what happened from Clay, but hasn't tried to pry any more information out of either of us. 

"Hey Sapnap. Wassup?"

"Oh I'm just eating ramen and talking to you."

"Mmm I love a man of taste." We both giggle until another ping comes from Discord. "Hewo," I greet, assuming it's Clay.

"Uh, hi. You're streaming, right?" Nope... It's George. That's awkward. 

"Yeah! You wanna play bedwars with us or something?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm always down for bedwars." My heart stops for a moment when I remember hearing Thomas say those exact words. Nick thankfully cracks a joke, so I have a few moments to recover. A final ping from Discord proves to be Clay.

"Holla peeps." The call explodes with laugher.

"Dream. Never. Say. That. Again. PLEASE!" George manages to get out between wheezes.

"What? What'd I do?" The next few hours are filled with laughter. I think we all just missed each other. George is the first to leave because he needs to sleep. Nick leaves shortly afterward, so Clay and I are all that's left. 

"Cool, cool. Well I suppose that's all for today. I promise I will actually be back soon. I already have a stream scheduled for Tuesday, so I should see you all there. Again, thank you for joining me. I hope you have a great day or evening! Bye!" Clay says goodbye as well and I raid my king, Eret.

"Phew. That was okay, right?" Clay asks after a moment. I hum a yes while finishing up a few things on my computer. "Hey... I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay, sure," I answer after he doesn't continue. I lean back in my chair, shifting my attention to him.

"So, you still have another two weeks off of swim... And um well..." His voice fades off nervously. I'm beginning to grow antsy in anticipation.

"What's up Clay? You can literally say anything."

"Okay. Well, Georges birthday is really soon. And I was planning on flying to the UK to surprise him, but I was wondering if you'd want to come with me. You definitely don't have to. I just thought a change of scenery might be nice." He isn't wrong. It's difficult to live here and stare at the bathroom door, wondering. 

"When are you leaving?"

"In two days."

"Holy shit! Very soon..."

"Yeah, I know. It kinda just slipped my mind with everything that was happening. I didn't remember until I got the reminder of my flight yesterday."

"Oh... okay. Well, I'd love to go if I can. Do you think I'll be able to get tickets?"

"Wait really?! You're gonna come with me? YES YES YES!" I giggle at his antics for a moment, but he never answered my question.

"Hey, green bitch. Can I get tickets?"

"Oh yeah. I already bought them. You're good." I sigh. Of course he did. "Oh, and Nick is coming too. He'll be here tomorrow to fly with us from Orlando."

"Awesome!" I can't help but smile as Clay's celebration noises fill my headphones. This is so spontaneous and I would have never done this last year. But I'm so glad I am now. This is going to be so fun. "Wait... So what should I pack?"

Clay tries to instruct me over the phone, but eventually just comes back over to my house. We spend the next two hours packing and making lists. I can tell he's relieved to have another person to help him organize. I facetime Nick for a little while so that we can talk through the plans with him, but he really did want to go to bed when he left my stream.

Eventually, Clay crashes in what has become his new bedroom and I head to bed too. At night, I dream of flights, birthday cakes, and Clay. I'm sure there was a smile plastered on my face the entire night.

To be continued...