𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭: ᴢᴇʀᴏᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ² − b. allen ((editing))

∟ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫.

the stone
part three

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LOOKING AT HERSELF in the mirror every day while getting ready had only gotten harder for Anna since learning the identity of Alacrity. Each time she got a glance of herself whether it was in a mirror; in a window as she passed by a street-side shop; in a puddle on the ground after the rain or in the screen of her phone, all she saw were the hollow, cold eyes of Alacrity. Anna no longer felt like she was looking at herself and, instead, she was looking at the woman who was trying to kill her; the woman who had taken her father. Most of the time, Anna avoided looking into anything with a reflective surface because she was afraid of her reflection. For three days, after learning who was behind the blurred face and glowing red eyes, Alacrity haunted Anna in a new way that seemed truly impossible. No one treated her differently —thankfully— but she would never be able to look at herself in the same way no matter how many times she repeated to herself that she was not Alacrity; that she was not the villain. 

In the late hours of the night, Anna always found herself replaying Alacrity's words over in her head while Barry slept peacefully beside her: "How does it feel knowing you created the villain? How does it feel knowing that everything I have done is on you?" For a sliver of a second, Anna believed it wasn't her fault that Alacrity was created, but the more she thought about it, she came to the conclusion that it actually was her fault. She had run back in time to save her mother, creating Zeropoint, which she then fixed and from that point on, Alacrity existed. Not only had the creation of a new timeline create the Woman in Red, but Anna physically created her; Alacrity was a time remnant.

           It was her fault. It was all Anna's fault.

          Anna sat down in the shower, wrapping her arms around her legs and pulling her knees to her chest as the water continued to soak her skin. She rested her chin on her knees and stared blankly at the wall like she had been for the past hour; not moving, hardly blinking, barely holding herself together. Anna let out a shaky breath, her throat growing itchy as a sob crept up from her chest.

          The water had gone lukewarm, now, but Anna couldn't seem to muster up the energy to get out. Usually, the warm water would make her skin crawl and would make her feel uncomfortable, but today she didn't seem to mind too much.

          A soft knock came from the other side of the door and it came open slightly. In the corner of Anna's eye, around the half-drawn shower curtain, she could see Barry poke his head in around the bathroom door. "You've been in here for an hour, baby," Barry said softly, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the sound of the water hitting the bottom of the bathtub in her ears. "Are you okay?"

          Those three words spoken softly were enough to make her choke out a breath. Sobs erupted from Anna's lips and her shoulders shook violently as tears streamed down over her cheeks, being washed away by the water just as quickly as they touched her skin. She leaned closer to her legs, trying to hide away from him completely. "I'm okay," Anna replied quietly though she wasn't sure he could hear her.

          Barry stepped into the bathroom and shut the door. "It's not your fault that she's here, Annie, and it isn't your fault that she's done bad things. Just because she has done awful things, it doesn't make you a bad person — you're not her," he said softly and knelt down on the floor next to the bathtub, reaching in and rubbing his girlfriend's back. Anna had always thought she hid the fear of herself from Barry, but it seemed he had taken notice of it when she hoped it would slip past him. "I've seen the way you look at yourself in the mirror with fear and hatred in your eyes — it's the same way you look at her, Anna. I know you don't love yourself right now and I know you hate what you see in the mirror, but I'll love you hard enough for the both of us until you can love yourself again."