In A Blind Eye

Chapter 18

            ⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

It's been a year since you and Spencer started things. He's shown you his entire world although you have yet to do the same. You wondered if Spencer had wondered about your life and why you haven't told him anything basically. Was he just waiting for it to be the right timing? Maybe he just wants you to tell him when you're 100% comfortable with him. During this time there were a few times he would be put in small dangerous situations with you when it came to waking you up or accidentally scaring you. Secretly you're terrified of everything around you. When he would wake you or scare you, you'd hurt him in some small physical way. You never meant to and came to hate yourself for that part of your own instincts. But Reid's been so patient for so long, you didn't think it was far to hide anymore.

During work you and Reid had to partner up. You and Reid went to the office and started a geographical profile and visited the crime scene. Once everything was done and the team caught the unsub once again, you were given the "ok" to go home. But there was something very specific with the case that you couldn't settle on. These poor kids were being tortured and drugged. Everyone could tell something was off but none of them knew why. One by one they asked if you were ok during this time except Reid. He didn't ask you anything. It wasn't because he didn't want anything to seem weird or suspicious but he'd talk to you later. One on one.

"Ok we'll pack up tonight and leave tomorrow morning." Hotch instructed the team. At that everyone went off to their rooms. The thing is you didn't want to talk to anyone right now not even Reid. You're mind has been going way too fast to even have a single thought since you actually saw those children on the stretchers.

Flash back
"Please don't! I'll do anything please stop!" A little boy screamed. His clothes were worn, dirty, and cut. "STOP!! I'LL TAKE HIS PLACE DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO ME!! LEAVE HIM ALONE I CAN TAKE IT!!!!" You screamed louder than the boy. "Y/N wants to play?" A man with a deep and cold voice spoke out. He threw the boy aside and you got him back with every other kid with you. You were grabbed forcefully. Your hands were chained to the ceiling and beaten for hours on end. There was more then one man, there were a whole group with one woman. They all had very specific things they enjoyed. Everyday for years you had to take what they wanted to do so the others didn't have as much pain.
Flash back over

You started crying on the floor when a door opened. "Y/N? I was knocking but I heard you crying. What's wrong?" It of course was Spencer. He just sat right next to you without touching you. "Go." You mustered. "Y/N.." "I SAID FUCKING GO SPENCER!!!!" You screamed. He had a look of disbelief of his face but at the same time sadness. It pained you more to see him like that but there was no way you wanted to around anyone right now. After all, you've never told even the slightest little bit of your story to anyone. You've always kept it buried. Even though he wanted to stay Spencer left without question and you were alone to cry your eyes out once again.

You couldn't sleep so you went outside. It was currently 3am were you were. All you wanted was to go home. You left numb and like you didn't know what else to do. Surprisingly when you walked outside Reid was sitting on the bench looking at the stars. "Reid." He looked at you. "Oh, you're still awake Y/N." He looked down with a little sadness in his voice. "I could say the same for you. Why are you still up?" He looked at you with those beautiful brown eyes again. "Why are you?" You sat next to him. "I asked you first." He chuckled. Seeing his smile was something you didn't know you needed to the moment.

"Honestly, I've been really worried about you all day. And any of time you're like this.." Reid said. "I'm sorry for freaking out on you the way I did.." you looked down. "It's ok we all have our moments. I was just like the way you acted when Maeve died. Time heals."

"How much time will mine take?" You asked. "Depends on what you've been through." He responded honestly. "Right." You said. You sat there in silence for only a second. "I know it's not my place to say anything of the sort but please don't hide yourself anymore. The more you hide, the more you get sucked into the darkness. And I can tell just how bright, caring, and amazing you are. Please don't let that go." Reid was looking in your eyes now.

"I don't know how to not guard myself. I don't know how to let the walls down. I can't." You said. "But you can, and I've seen it. You did it with me." He was right. You're different with him than the others. "But that's different." You couldn't help but smile and neither could Reid. "I know it's a bit different but even with that you aren't the same person with me. Your guard is more down, just not completely.

Acting different with him just came so naturally. It's not something you had to try and do it force yourself to do. He just made you feel 100% safe. "Reid how tired are you?" "Not a whole lot why?" He questioned. "Because this'll probably be the only time I'm willing to tell my story to anyone." "No lies?" "Promise." The two of you went into your hotel room and that's when you started to tell him everything about who you were.