Sockhead

Eds' Holiday Special Part 1

It was the week before finals and I was even less awake than usual. I was running on coffee and advil. I saw Eddy standing at his locker. "Hey Ed- whoa." When he turned around, I saw he had a bulging, purple black eye. 

"Yeah, yeah. My brother is home for winter break."

"Oh..." I cringed. His eye was really gross. "Is it pussing?"

"Don't worry about it." Eddy grumbled. Double D and Ed met us in the hall, wearing jackets and shivering. 

"Oh, Eddy." Double D had a visceral reaction to the black eye.

"Looks like somebody got coal from Santa, Eddy." chimed Ed.

"Leave me alone!" He whined.

"What's everyone doing for Christmas?" I said to change the subject.

"My parents are taking time off work to celebrate!" Double D answered jovially. "Finally having family time again."

"That's great, D!" I kissed him on the cheek. 

"Same here." said Eddy. "Hopefully I survive it." 

"Ed boys!" Rolf was waving us down in the cafeteria. 

"What is it, Rolf?" Greeted Double D.

"I do not understand this fat man and flying deer holiday. Can you help me write my essay about the so called 'Christmas' you all speak of?" 

"Sure, Rolf, I can tutor you again after school, but you can't pay me in turnips this time." He replied. 

"Of course." Rolf said sheepishly. "See you after school Ed boy."

We continued past Rolf to our usual table. "So, I guess it's just the three of us after school." said Eddy. (y/n), can we still hang at your house?"

"Yup. It's too cold for the swamp now." I said as Double D left to get some ketchup. Ed suddenly leaned over and whispered in my ear. 

"If Double D is tutoring after school, we can finally give you the advice!" 

"Uh... the what?" I asked.

"Advice?" Asked Eddy. "About what?"

"Shhh!" Ed hissed "He's gonna hear us. What you have to do is listen to our advice for Double D. We know him better than anyone. Right Eddy?"

"Fine." Eddy sighed. "I want (your and Double D's ship name) to work out as much as anyone."

"Are you sure Eddy?" I asked him. "It seemed like you still had a crush on him. You're not jealous?"

"Nope. I might like him, I don't know, but I know he doesn't feel the same. He was right. I was just having a crisis over my future and and thought telling Double D I loved him would distract everyone from my inability to make important decisions."

"Oh... well I'm glad you worked it out Eddy." 

After last period, Double D headed off to tutor Rolf and then the rest of us headed to my place. We chilled downstairs on the couch, Ed and I playing a video game while Eddy flipped through one of Ed's comics. "What's the deal with zombies? They're just dead people. I'll be one someday too they ain't special."

"Let's talk when you rise from your grave, Eddy."

"Anyway, what advice are we giving (y/n)?"

"Yeah, Ed." I chimed in. "Why do you think I need relationship advice?"

"Because we know what Double D likes."

"Ooo, Ed." Eddy teased. 

"C'mon Eddy."

"Okay, hmmm... I do know Double D pretty well." He put on a mocking voice, trying to sound like Double D. "Why hello there fellows. What a beautiful day. Library books and studying turns me on. Oh, (y/n), read me some flash cards!"

"Eddy!" I complained, throwing a comic book at him as Ed busted into laughter.  "We don't do that! I mean, we study together but not like... in a weird way." 

"Well..." said Eddy, finally getting serious. "Maybe he'd like it if you would."

"What? Just flirt with flashcards?"

"Why not?" said Ed. "I think he'd be into it. He already likes you, but you could try."

"Well..." I said, "It might get him to stop being awkward around me... thanks guys!"

"No problem." Eddy slung an arm over my shoulder. "Let us know how it goes."