Sockhead

Happy New Year

On first day back from winter break, I woke up to a smack against the window. I turned to see my bedroom window plastered with snow. "What the hell..." I grumbled, groggily stumbling to the window and throwing it open. "Hey weirdo, we're late for school!" shouted Eddy from the ground outside my house.

"Oh, shit!" I rushed to put on some jeans, a Peach Creek sweatshirt I saw on the floor, and my backpack, then met Eddy outside. "Why are you creeping around my house?"

"You weren't answering my texts and you know Double D will freak if we're late for the first day. Now come on!"

As Eddy and I were rushing to school, I checked my phone and then stopped. "Eddy! It's 6:50 not 7:50! You were throwing snowballs at my window for nothing!"

"No, not nothing. I knew the only way you would get up early for our spontaneous last hang out of winter break was if I tricked you."

"What?"

"Don't what me, Ed and Double D should be waiting for us at the coffee shop."

"Good thing we're going to a coffee shop, since you made me get up before seven."  

"Where the heck is Ed?" Eddy wondered aloud as we drank our coffee. 

"I'm sure he's just running late, Eddy." said Double D, but Eddy was already shouting into his phone.

"Lumpy! Where are ya? This is our last hour of winter break for our entire high school careers and you're missing it! What? Ed, I can't understand you. Ok, fine." 

"What did he say?" I asked.

"Something about buttered toast and then he hung up on me."

"You know," said Double D, "He's been acting kind of strangely since Christmas."

"Oh, crap." I said. "We actually do have to get to school now."

As soon as the three of us walked into the school, our principal started yelling at us to get to the gym. "Why?" I asked, "We aren't in gym class."

"It's for the pep rally." Double D told me. "We do it every year when it's time to play our rivals, the Lemon Brook Lumpers." 

We searched all around the gym for Ed, but there was no sign of him. I saw Nazz, Sarah and Jimmy run onto the basketball court in cheerleading uniforms, so I figured it was time for the pep rally to start. "Where is lumpy?" grumbled Eddy. "He's even late for school now."

"He's probably just getting into his mascot costume." said Double D. 

"Wait, Ed is the school mascot? How did I not know this?" I exclaimed. By now, all the basketball players had entered the gym. I spotted Kevin and Rolf in the lineup. 

"Wow, I didn't take Rolf for the jock type." I said.

"Well, with that height he'd may as well try his hand at basketball." Said Double D. Then suddenly, Ed entered the gym dressed as a huge... piece of pie? 

"What... is he?" I asked Double D.

"Why, he's the Peach Creek Cobbler of course." 

"You've got to be kidding me." 

"Maybe you need to start paying more attention around here." Double teased. 

"Oh, eff off." I giggled. The cheerleaders began chanting "Kill the Lumpers! Kill the Lumpers!"

"Wow, this is pretty intense."

"Oh, yes. Peach Creek and Lemon Brook have an... unfriendly rivalry. This game is a big deal to some people, but I have to say, I don't really care."

I shrugged. "Me neither." 

Afterwards, we ran to find Ed. "Ed, that was amazing!" I said. 

"Thank you!" Ed shouted while taking off the Cobbler costume. 

"Gracious, Ed!" Exclaimed Double D, "Put some pants on!" Right after Ed headed back to the locker room, I noticed he left his phone on the floor. As soon as I picked it up, it started to ring. 

"Uh... guys? Ed's phone is ringing, and the caller ID says... May Kanker?"

Double D and Eddy both gaped at me. "What?"

"Don't answer it!" They shouted in unison.

"She's one of those crazy girls who tried to stab us in the woods on Halloween, right?"

"Unfortunately." said Double D. "Why would she be calling Ed?"