Sockhead

Go Cobblers

"Why did we get sent to the principal's office?" Eddy grumbled. "It's Double D's fault."

All four of us sat in the principals office, listening to the clock on the wall tick. "Where even is he?" I wondered aloud. As if I had summoned him, the principal walked through the door. 

"It's nice to see you again, Eddy."

"I didn't do anything this time!"

"I'm not falling for that. I know you're the ring leader here. I've been dealing with you three for three and a half years, and I really thought we'd be able to get through the last semester without any shenanigans. And you," He nodded in my direction, "I know you're new here, but you're still part of this."

"Huh?"

"Now, even though Edward created an explosion in the chem lab this morning, I'm willing to let you all off with a warning on the condition that you all stay out of trouble until after the Lemon Brook game."

Double D finally spoke up. "Sir, I sincerely apologize for the mishap this morning and I assure you it won't happen again, but are you really so worried about a basketball game?"

"Yes. Peach Creek and Lemon Brook are at each other's throats. I can't have you burnouts screwing anything up right now."

"Burnout? I have a 4.4 GPA!" 

"All of you, get back to class and remember what I said. There will be consequences for your actions."

"That guy is such a jerk." Fumed Eddy as we roamed the hallways. 

"Yeah." Huffed Double D. "I'm sorry guys."

"It's not your fault if he doesn't understand that you're the smartest kid here." I said. 

"Well, I guess we'll just have to stay out of trouble. I can't be bringing you all down with me again..."

"Come on man, it's just high school. I'm sick of worrying about everything."

"Me too." Mumbled Eddy. "When is that stupid game anyway?"

"It's tonight." Said Ed, pointing out the window. We all looked out into the courtyard and saw the Lemon Brook school bus.

"Aw crap." Said Double D, "I told Kevin I'd take pictures."

"Kevin?" Remarked Eddy, sounding repulsed. "Why?" But Double D had already rushed off.

That night, we all marched into the school gym, Ed dressed up in his cobbler costume. I had been noticing that as soon as somebody warns you not to cause any trouble, it seems like anything you do will be wrong somehow. Double D must have read my mind. 

"Okay... we just have to take the pictures... watch the game... and not start shit. We can do that in our sleep, right?"

Eddy scoffed. "Yes, we can. Principal dipshit just doesn't know us at all."

"ED!" A voice roared from behind us.

Eddy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Go away, Sarah."

"Listen, losers. A bunch of the cheerleaders just bailed on us. We need you guys to help."

"What?" We all gasped. 

"Just pretend to know what you're doing. You do it every day anyway."

"Why should we?"

"Because I'll beat your ass. And then tell the principal that you sabotaged the cheer squad. He actually likes me."

"That figures." Huffed Eddy. 

"You have to do it!" Shouted Ed. "Or else Sarah will tell mom and mom will tell dad and dad will-" 

"Okay, fine!" I blurted. 

Sarah led us into the locker rooms where Eddy and I put on the orange cheer uniforms. Ed was already a cobbler and Double D had a giant camera around his neck. "I can't remember the last time I wore a skirt this short." I muttered. I noticed Double D blushing. To make things less awkward I said "At least you get to wear track pants Eddy, you won't be freaking cold all night."

Double D gave a forced laugh. 

"Oh God, you two are the worst." Said Eddy. I chose not to comment on the fact that the pants were too long for him. 

"Hey dudes!" Interrupted Nazz. "Time to go on!"

"Okay... " I mumbled nervously. "Let's do this I guess." When we all ran out onto the court, the number of eyes on me felt paralyzing. Sarah, Jimmy and Nazz started dancing around and chanting something about peaches, so I just tried to copy them. 

At half time, the teams were tied. I waved to Double D who was sitting in the bleachers. "Okay guys," said Jimmy, "We have to do the pyramid here in a sec."

"No way..." Eddy said shakily. 

"Yes way. We can do this. (y/n), you'll have to be the flyer." 

"What?" 

"Yeah, sorry but you don't know what you're doing. I can't trust you to throw someone in the air."

"Jeez, fine. This night can't get any weirder anyway." 

The game started back up, and I could tell Kevin was on a mission. I stood on Eddy and Jimmy's shoulders, trying to stay calm. "One.. two... thr-" before Jimmy could finish counting, Eddy launched me through the air. I screamed until I collided with something solid. "Ow, what the fuck?"

"Kevin?" I looked up, but everything was blurry. 

I heard the ref calling a time out. 

"(y/n), I'm so sorry!"

"Eddy?"

"(y/n!)" I felt Double D grab me and help me sit up. "Are you okay?"

"Ugh... I think I'm fine." When my eyes focused again I saw Kevin with blood dripping down his nose. "Oh shit, are you alright?" Then suddenly I heard laughing from behind us. 

"Wow, you pussies can't even play a game of basketball without hurting yourselves." We all turned to look at one of the huge players from Lemon Brook. 

"Shut up, man." Said Double D. 

"I'm just saying, your players are weak and you even have ugly cheerleaders."

Double D rolled his eyes. "Oh please. How can you say that when you're built like a giant toe?"

"You'd better watch it." 

"Or what?"