He froze in place.
" I like you. Even when you don't like me at all. "
He said those words ever so lightly but had held the heaviest weight.
My eyes seemed to blur with tears threatening to fall. My throat suddenly went dry and parched like I haven't had water in along time.
My stomach lurches at the untamed burst of butterfly frenzy. I felt like sparks are flying and that I could see them in his eyes.
"I think I'm in love with you Zeb. "
My mouth twitched to say something but I couldn't.
" Will I always be an 80?"
His index finger lifted my chin up. My breath meeting his. Our hearts beating a dangerous cadence of forbidden love.
Alice.
" Will I always be just after my 79?"
His lips trailed soft kisses on my jaw. That minimal contact sent slivers of shivers in my body. I gripped the desk for support as his left or right hand cupped my nape. I didn't know, I was disoriented even with his slightest touch. One hand at the small of my back. Caressing it up and down I felt like I was floating around in a world unknown to man.
"Stop."
My voice came out as a pathetic whimper. My hands hanging limply on both my sides.
"Do you really want me to? " He raspy voice never helped at all.
"Alice."
"It's not about her."
That had cleared my mind from this hazy daze he put me in.
"It will always be about her. " I got my things and headed to the door.
He was silent.
"How selfish of You. " I looked at him over my shoulders.
He never said a word. He just slowly walked towards me.
Not angry.
Not happy.
Not sad.
Nothing.
"How selfless of You. When will you ever liberate yourself? This time, you might lose more than what you expect. Yesterday was your dream. Tomorrow, it might be me."
I was standing outside in his hallway.
He was standing inside his apartment.
No one dared to close the door.
We were just there.
The decisions we make, the choices we take, the things we regret, the what ifs we never make. What will it be?
Which one will you go after if those choices are on different directions? Which ones will you let go and will you cling unto?
