Smile [Ziall]

41.

Breathe Niall, in and out, I constantly reminded myself.

This was actually happening. Zayn and I were finally alone in his car. Convenient that Zayn had tinted windows, now that I think about it.

I met Zayn's eyes, still pondering over what he meant when he said we could do something while we wait.

He was being suggestive, and the way Zayn was looking at me now, was making me a flustered mess.

This was all my fantasies coming true, and then some.

I leaned forward, Zayn's liquid caramel eyes locked with mine, as he softly, fondly smiled at me, and I blinked, being reminded of why I fell for this man.

It was all counting down in my mind at this precise moment, and I couldn't help it. Yes, I had fallen for Zayn, even when I told myself that I would be careful. Well, fuck being careful. I'm too far gone now.

It was impossible actually, not falling for someone like Zayn, and more so when someone like Zayn actually returns your feelings. Someone who puts your feelings above everyone else, care about the littlest things about you, is so nice to people and has a heart of gold and is just as beautiful as he is on the inside.

People like Zayn Malik don't come around too often, and I've never been so sure than I'm the luckiest because I have someone like Zayn in my life now.

My breathing was ragged, as Zayn gently cupped my cheek, lulling me close as if I was in a trance, my mind instantly going blank.

You're beautiful, he mouthed, making tears spring to my eyes. This moment couldn't be any more perfect.

And it suddenly hit me. How it felt almost impossible to live without Zayn now, my first thought when I wake up being seeing Zayn again, and wishing I was cuddled by his side. And the immense admiration and other indescribible emotions I was feeling towards this man right now, I was damn sure this was love.

Because I have never, ever felt this strongly for anyone. How life seemed so damn pointless without them.

Fuck, if this is love, then it's such a beautiful, beautiful thing and is making me feel so powerless bit at the same time...  So happy.

My blue eyes didn't unlock from Zayn's hazel irises for a split second as he smiled again softly, his lips tipping up at one corner, carding his slender fingers through my hair, making me almost purr.

Outside, the lights had dimmed a considerable amount, as almost all the people had left, but we were almost too far gone to care. I briefly thought about Liam and Louis, but that thought flew out the window when Zayn once again slowly carressed the pad of his thumb over my lips, my tongue accidentally brushing it as I went to lick my lips. Zayn eyes darkened as he leaned even closer, reaching out and tightening his arms around my waist as he pulled me close, until I was nearly on his lap. I gulped, locking my arms around his neck, my eyes boring into his, so many emotions swimming in his eyes as we just breathed heavily, our faces inches apart, Zayn's fingers digging into my waist.

Yes, I was in love with Zayn Malik. Completely, madly, in love. And I couldn't do anything about it. Tonight was the breaking point. When he'd treated me in front of his friends like a normal person, protected me, gave me a chance and persuaded me so I could gain confidence, believes in me so much and oh God, why is he so perfect?

I love you, I mouthed as I cupped Zayn's face this time, rubbing my thumbs over his stubble covered cheekbones, and Zayn just stared at me with shocked eyes as his smile slowly slipped from his face, his gaze darting from my lips back to my eyes in disbelief.

With my heart almost about to leap out of my chest, I waited with baited breath for his answer, which didn't come. Zayn kept looking at me with a blank look, all emotion wiped from his features as his eyes turned glassy.

He slowly pushed me away from his lap and I removed my hands from his face numbly, staring at Zayn with disbelief and shock.

What just happened?

Why did I have to blurt it out? I berated myself. But I was sure this was love. Fuck, this is love.

And I told Zayn, which was the right thing to do.

My blood ran cold as I felt my heart literally crack at the same time.

He doesn't love me back. Oh, fuck. He doesn't love me. That's why he had reacted like this.

I felt like curling into a ball and screaming at the top of my lungs and sobbing my heart out.

It was too good to be true. Miserable shits like me are never as lucky to deserve love from someone like Zayn.

Zayn was still staring out the windshield while harshly biting on his lip, his right hand clenched into fists on his thighs, the other fisting his hair in frustration as his eyes shone with unshed tears.

He dared not look at me, and I felt like such an idiot, as tears cascaded down my cheeks, but I was too numb to wipe them off.

Of course this was too much for Zayn. Why did I have to say such a stupid thing? Why the fuck did I ruin it?

I suppressed a sob, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie as I sunk into my seat, peeking a glance at a still rigid Zayn. As if feeling his gaze on me, he feverishly shook his head in realisation, almost looking like he might cry himself but was containing it. He reached a hand out, but I pushed him away, hiding my face in my hands.

Zayn didn't force me though, or try to explain himself, which was enough answer for me.

A few minutes later, I felt the vibrarion of the slamming shut as Zayn got out of the car. To look for Liam and Louis, to walk this off? Who knows.

And as I silently waited, I just couldn't stop crying at my stupid luck.

- - -

why do you think zayn reacted this way? poor niall :'c