Smile [Ziall]

19.

I have no idea how long I sat there.

Nobody came to check up on me though, no surprise there. And I was really grateful for that.

Judging from the color change of the water, evening had descended. The sea was getting angrier, the waves hitting the rocks with more ferocity, and I seriously wondered what would happen if I just took a few more steps, climbed down the short stone railing, and join those waves.

I then shook my head feverishly as if to rid myself of those thoughts. My late father's face flashed in my mind. And then the promise I'd made him. The promise, that I'll never let anyone put me down because of my disability, and I won't let it get to me.

The same promise I had made my best friend.

But it's really hard to pretend not to care when it's all weighing down on you, and everyone is unintentionally throwing it in your face, especially the ones who you never to do that to you.

I felt an arm wrench me back with ferocity, and I stumbled into a body, curling my hands in their shirt. I slowly looked up and met Louis' eyes, which were blazing with anger.

I know what he was thinking; I was standing at the very edge of the cliff, far away from the bench, and I'd gotten to this point quite absent-mindedly, not purely intentional.

I shook my head slowly at Louis to ease him, to tell him that was not my intention.

I had thought about taking my life countless times, but then I'd thought, that only I would be the one getting the shorter end. Sure, my misery will end, but it's only misery because I'm letting it get to me so much.

I know this wasn't right, but sometimes the smallest things push me to the edge and trigger me to graze this all time low. I can't help it.

No one will miss me if I'll go. And only I would be deprived of the pleasure of sitting here everyday, of writing in my journal, of admiring the waves, and... Yes. I won't be able to talk to Zayn anymore. And of course Louis.

Look, Niall. You're doing it again. You're letting life get to you, Louis signed in frustration, looking absolutely terrified as he searched my eyes while gripping my wlshoulders, and I bit my lip guiltily for scaring my best friend.

I'm sorry, I signed back weakly, and Louis frowned as he let me go.

I'm sorry for worrying you, for ignoring you back there when you were just trying to make me feel better, I explained, then looked away, sitting back down on the bench, Louis copying me.

Louis cupped my cheek, making me look up. He smiled is signature smile, --the smile that always makes you feel that everything is going to be alright-- and shook his head, the wind softly ruffling his feathery hair as he pushed it out of his eyes.

You don't have to be sorry, Ni. I know how much this day hurts you, and I wish I could change that. But that's just one bad thing in your life, Louis signed, then took my hands in his for a few seconds, squeezing them comfortingly.

Look at all the good things. The boy you like wants to be friends with you and admires you, even if you can't hear, you still are able to admire the beauty around you... And your best friends wants you to come back and help him finish this huge piece of fudge cake. Need I go on? Louis clasped his hands, wiggling his eyebrows, while I suppressed my tears.

Louis is literally the sweetest human being, he always brings me up before I sink too much into my morose thoughts, which I had a tendency to do a lot.

You forgot one good thing. I'm the lucky guy who has Louis Tomlinson as a best friend, I signed, and Louis grinned, taclking me in a tight hug which I returned, as I felt my worries fading away, dimming just a little bit, as I hugged Louis tighter, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

Now how about that cake? Louis smirked, and I smirked back.

Lead the way.

Louis is so right. You just have to show life that even in it's shitiness, you will still come out with a tiny shred of happiness even if it sometime seems impossoble; so suck it.

[ a little nouis was needed <3 i thought that if zayn had come down here, it would have been too cliche huh? many more intense moments are reserved for ziall ;) ]