Smile [Ziall]

50.

These little notes, whether trivial or sometimes making me smile like an idiot or even sob, were my treasure. I never threw away a single note from Zayn, all of them were safely embedded in my journal, along with his letters.

Lost in my thoughts and the note safely tucked in the pocket of my jeans, I focused and carefully slid down the uneven rocks, the waves seeming angrier today and the sky suddenly darker, indicating it would rain. How surprising.

Even though the weather had changed, it was completely contradicting my mood because I'd already spotted Zayn as I climbed further down.

I loved this bench, well mostly because it was a symbol of Zayn's and mine relationship, but also because this was a blind spot and we were invisible here, in our own little world.

When I was close and jumped down the last uneven rock, Zayn, unlike always, didn't hear me approach. Maybe because the waves must have been loud. I took this as a chance to just stand there and admire him from a distance, sitting there being all gorgeous and perfect and sweet and kind along with all his flaws, insecurities and fears.

I finally broke out of my trance and took a seat beside Zayn, who slowly turned his head and shot me his crinkly eyed smile that had the power to turn my bad day into the best one.

I smiled back and mouthed a hi as I met Zayn's eyes when he looked up from his hood, their caramel color appearing black due to the lack of light, his hood covering his hair giving him a more mysterious air.

I blinked, our eyes locking, neither of us saying anything. A cool breeze blew past, ruffling Zayn's long hair as it went in his eyes, and i reached out to push it away gently, my fingers tracing the contours of his face, his smooth, delicate skin.

Not breaking our gaze, Zayn took my left hand in his, pulling me closer as my breathing sped up. He cupped my face and in seconds, his soft lips met mine. I gasped in surprise, literally melting against his body as I closed my eyes, locking my arms around his neck and kissing him back, after such a long time apart.

We pulled back minutes later, my hands still on his shoulders and his around my waist. Zayn leaned in and brushed our noses again, placing a feathery kiss on my lips and then on my cheek.

I missed you so much, he mouthed, and I bit my lower lip as my heart beat faster, my cheeks heated up and my lips involuntarily curved up and I felt so happy.

I missed you, I mouthed back.

Are you going to the field trip? I signed, staring at him hopefully.

Zayn pursed his lips, shrugging and then shaking his head, and I sighed in disappointment, looking down at my feet.

A few seconds later, I felt a poke on my shoulder.

Are you going? He signed. I nodded.

Zayn suddenly smiled, baring his teeth. The cute and excited one, yes.

I guess I should make a Zayn's smiles chart at the end of this journal just to let you know about his smiles and how much each one affects me.

I raised an eyebrow, and Zayn tackled my into a hug. Initially surprised, I then instinctually hugged him back, laying my cheek on his shoulder.

Zayn pulled back then signed, If you're going, then I'm going, he smirked knowingly, and I had a feeling he had been going before. I narrowed my eyes, and Zayn just shrugged cutely.

He nudged me. So we're both going to be in London yeah? He signed, making me gulp because yes, we will be in London. Together. With with also my other friends and Zayn's too and everybody else. Ugh.

Yeah but not like we both want, I signed, and Zayn shrugged.

Let's see what happens, he signed quickly, following with a knowing smile as I quirked an eyebrow, but he didn't say much further.

A peaceful blanket settled over us. I kept my eyes trained on the waves, softly hitting against the shore and wetting the stones, making then glisten in the remnants of evening sunlight, and then returning back.

Zayn smacked his palm to his forehead, then dug around his pocket. I frowned in curiosity, and he turned around, his eyes lit up in excitement.

He placed the device in my hand, powered up. I opened my mouth then closed it, looking down at the cellphone, knowing that it wasn't Zayn's.

I met his eyes in confusion, and Zayn signed, This is for you. Don't ask me how I got it. I just want to be with you at all times. And now I can.

Oh, Zayn. I shook my head, but Zayn stopped me.

I know your birthday just passed, but just accept is as a token of my love, he signed, grinning dramatically as I laughed.

Zayn froze, then smiled with his head cocked, and damn it, it was the smile.

What? I mouthed, my cheeks heating up.

You look so damn beautiful when you laugh, he signed finally, making me smile like a loon as I bit my lower lip.

I looked back down at the colorful screen of the phone that I knew jackshit about. I'd only seen Louis always buried in his phone, and this one kinda looked like his. Meh. They were all the same to me.

I can't accept this Zayn, I signed, shaking my head. This was too much of a gift, I couldn't take it. But then I would be able to talk to Zayn on those messages all the time.

Yes you can. And you are, he said firmly. You can ask Louis to teach you everything, and my number's already in there, he added with a small, mischeivous smile as I rolled my eyes but nodded.

I'm glad it wasn't the one with the half eaten apple behind it. That shiť looked expensive to touch.

Thank you so much, I signed, hugging Zayn tightly who returned it, kissing my forehead.

I hope he knew how much this gesture of his really meant to me. He wanted to be with me at all times, even when we were apart. Oh gosh.

I must have done something good to deserve someone like Zayn, someone who I can easily relate to about my past, and someone who genuinely cares for me and understands me so well.

And most of all, despite how I am, with all my flaws, loves me. All of me.

All along, I convinced myself to believe that I don't deserve anything good, not even working senses. But nobody in this world deserves only misery. There's always an ounce of good for all of us out there.

And my ounce of good and pure happiness is Zayn Malik.

----

hiii, its been so long. i know i even lost almost all my readers of this book. my fault tho.

if you stayed, i love you.

hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next ones will be in london! i finally have inspiration to complete this book and finish it, and i'm so grateful if only even two people read it :')