Broken Seams ✓

CHAPTER 8 - A FRAGMENTED MIND

CHAPTER 8 - A FRAGMENTED MIND

A Few Moments Later
6 seconds later

"I remember now, I remember what happened," I said in disbelief, soon tears streamed down my face as I looked at Julie in the eye.

"I'm so, so sorry. I can't believe I left you in that mess, you didn't talk to anyone and then I forget all of it as if it were nothing." I said in self hatred before getting up, "I'm really sorry."

Julie looked at me for a moment before fiddling with her ring.

"It's fine, don't worry. I- don't blame yourself, okay? That's the last thing I want. Are you sure you remember everything about my mum's death?"

I shook my head, a part of me strongly believes that I'm unaware about something. Then again, I'm quite oblivious at times, smiling I shrugged my shoulders.

"You joined martial arts, started writing and reading more too," Julie smiled slightly, "You even got glasses but you never wore them for some reason. So, I may or may not have stolen them to make an art piece since you were never home."

Smiling, I couldn't help but laugh at the last part. To think that Julie's creativity can never be stopped was a sight to see. I never thought much about the masses of art supplies in her room but now I wonder how much stuff she has taken from me to make each individual art piece.

I couldn't recall any memories of doing martial arts and the rest of it- there were only fragments, I couldn't pinpoint what each memory was, everything was blurred over. Sitting down, I rubbed my temple before closing my eyes for a moment as I spoke.

"I don't remember that, wait- where's the stuff I wrote?"

Julie sighed before tucking a strand of her pastel pink hair behind her ear.

"No one could find them, remember the photographs? Unfortunately, it's the same thing here. No one has them anymore." She muttered, never once meeting my gaze as I noticed how her face was slowly becoming more and more miserable as I spent more time with her.

This has got to be hard for Julie and for all of them, in fact. They're left with the memories, the good, the bad and everything else in between. I'm left with almost nothing, I only have fragments. Some of them are joining together to make permanent memories and others are left blurred out- like the ones I was reminded of before. I started to write all of the memories that I gained in the diary Adam gave me, he really wants me to remember. It's much more evident with him than anyone else- it's sweet and yet I still occasionally feel empty because of it. That's a symptom in itself..

"Oh yeah. I need to find Adam." I muttered, believing what Julie said. She has always been honest until it comes to herself. The next time I see her, I better talk to her about that. There are still times where she's distant like before but I don't blame her, there's a lot that's been going on. The only thing she can do is keep up with this facade of hers until I remember again.

Julie looked at me for a moment before grinning.

"You miss him already? It's only been a day!" She teased as I laughed, "Go on lovebirds, I'll be in my room if you need me. Oh yeah, my diary is in the drawer so feel free to read it whenever."

"I'll see you later, I promise! Thank you and we're not lovebirds." I replied, I pulled a face of slight disgust. However, on the inside, I couldn't help but think about Adam's kindness towards me and hostility towards others- it's not toxic. He's wary of others when they associate with me, especially if they're doctors.

"Lies..." She said, interrupting my thoughts.

Smiling, I said bye before hugging Julie and stealing the paintbrush out of her hair.

"I'll bring it back, I promise!" I said before goofily smiling, leaving in a happier mood than I was before.

After leaving Julie, I headed back towards my room. I closed the door and walked to my bed, kicking off my shoes like I had worked for hours on end before falling onto my bed. Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh of relief as I heard someone quietly closing the door.

"Hey Adam," I said, I was used to the sound of his footsteps when he didn't want to disturb me or whenever he snuck in to check up on me.

Realising that I still had Julie's paintbrush in my hand, I stuffed in my pocket carefully. Knowing that if it breaks, she'll kill me.

"Yeah?" He responded before I felt the side of my bed dip.

"We need to plant some more flowers," I said with a small smile before opening my eyes to sit up and hug him. I noticed the different deodorant he was wearing- this time it was rosewood, it made me feel calm as I nuzzled my head against his neck without realizing.

Adam chuckled while running his hand through my hazelnut-reddish hair.

"I'm glad, do you want to plant these ones?" He said as he handed me my favorite type of flower. Iris seeds, why do I think this is important?

I dismissed it, believing that it meant nothing and nodded my head before going off to the garden.

Adam smiled before putting on his black trainers and hopping a little bit as he headed towards the double doors, trying to keep up with me.

"Have you seen my mom? I'm worried." I said, turning around and stopping in my tracks.

Adam looked at me and then started tying his shoelaces.

"She's at work, she'll be back next week for New Year's. Don't worry, okay?" He said before getting up and holding my hand.

"Hm, if you say so." I responded before meeting his eye and continuing, "Mum didn't used to work so much, what happened?"

Adam shrugged his shoulders and sighed as we walked to the greenhouse- our little safe place.

"It just happened really, Frances death took a toll on her. The rest I can't tell you." He said as he rubbed his neck.

"Why does everyone keep acting like this? With this I can't tell you crap?" I asked while letting go of his hand and lifting my hands near my head in pure annoyance, Adam's the only one who sees this side of me.

"Look- it's- you need to find out yourself. I'll help you but I don't want you to get hurt." He muttered before rubbing his neck, trying to remain calm.

Bullshit. Why does everyone feel this way? No one knows what happened in the accident and yet they feel the need to protect me from my past- something that they're well aware of and remember it as clear as day. Why do such a thing?

"There's no point in trying to hide it from me, I'll remember everything one day." I replied, his face shot up to look at me in the eyes as his aura soon became melancholic.

"I... I want you to remember." Adam spoke like a broken record as I grabbed his hand. His eyes met mine, it was as if he was searching for something. Maybe, he was looking for answers but he soon remembered that I won't have them, "We'll be going to a guy I know, his name's Grant, to ask about that number." He said before showing the piece of paper that I got from the hospital.

"We'll be getting straight into business, okay?"

"Okay, I've got to go. I need to see Julie." I said, while hugging him and rubbing his knuckles before leaving him in the garden. A part of me believes that I will never see her or my mum again for a while, and until then, I have to spend as much time as I can with them.

After all, I have no idea of what lies ahead or what will happen when I'm gone. And for that, these moments will mean everything to me. Even if I'm doing it for their benefit so everything can be how it was before.

"See you later then." Adam replied as we finished planting the irises in the soil.

"Yeah, I'll see you later."

When me and Adam leave, it could finally be the end of my misery. I could finally get my memories back right? The only question I have left is what if I'm believing in lies or trusting the wrong people?

And to get the answer, we both have to pay the price.