The Fifteenth Year

April: Part 12

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Dear Friend,

I kept yawning in class today. Slept weird last night, so I was struggling to concentrate. Harriet came over and opened her hand to show me a Five Hour Energy.

"Where'd you get that?" I whispered. "Aren't these pretty new?"

She nodded. "But they work. I take one whenever I have a big exam."

"How do you get these?" I asked. "Aren't they...pricey?"

"I get these at the food bank," she said sarcastically with an eye roll. "Relax. I mow people's lawns sometimes for some pocket change. It sometimes goes toward these."

I took it from her. "Thanks, Harriet. I have vendor machine money in my locker. I'll pay you back."

She winked. "Oh, I'm counting on it. I work hard for my money, white girl."

I laughed aloud, garnering a warning look from Miss Burgess to stay quiet. I mouthed sorry to her, then smiled at Harriet. "You're a lifesaver."

"I could say the same to you. My mom and I devoured those cupcakes. We enjoyed having you over."

"I'd come back if you wanted me to, Harriet."

She shifted uncomfortably. "Baby steps, Wallace. Maybe down the road."

I smiled. "I understand."

Harriet walked back to her seat and I downed the energy drink. Within minutes, I noticed a difference. I'll have to thank her again.

Harriet wants to take our friendship slow, and I get that. She's not used to accepting help from strangers and she has too much pride to anyway. She thinks she doesn't have time to have a life of her own and I'm determined to teach her differently.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Dear Friend,

Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to try on prom dresses with my mom and friends after school. So excited! It doesn't seem real. I need to write later, though. I'm at Chloe's softball game.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Dear Friend,

I never thought I'd be so overwhelmed by so many options. How in the world does an insecure fifteen year old girl know what she looks good in? Thank God my mom and friends were there to give it to me straight. I needed their input - badly. Maybe not Renee's harsh 'you look like Morticia from The Addams Family in that,' but at least she was helpful. Unlike Chloe who gushed for every dress.

"Narrow it down, guys," I said, biting my lip. "I have to look perfect."

"Oh sweetheart, don't fret about this," my mom said, stroking my hair. "Jason knows the real you. A dress isn't going to change all that."

"She's right," Renee said. "Go with your gut."

"Fine," I said, calling her bluff. "Then I want the Morticia dress." I didn't really want it, I just wanted to toy with her.

"I said go with your gut. Not your insanity gene. No offense, Mrs. Wallace."

My mom laughed. "No insanity genes on either side, Renee. You're a pistol."

"I thought you told Jason you wanted yellow," Tessa reminded me.

"I did, but now I'm having second thoughts. I kind of like this lavender one, but does it make me look babyish? Like a flower girl?"

"You're overthinking it," Tessa told me. "It's not your wedding, and you're going to get two more proms. Don't make it complicated. Just go with your gut like Renee said."

"And spare your mother with the price," my mom added. "As an adult, that walks hand in hand with your gut all the time."

"Noted, Mom." I compared a yellow dress tag to the lavender one and sighed. "I just don't know."

"What about baby blue? You look great in baby blue," Chloe offered.

"I always wear that," I said. "I want to stand out."

"Well, what have you ruled out?" Renee asked.

"Red and black are too flashy. I don't want to look super fancy or ridiculous. I like the lavender, the yellow, the sea-foam green, and the ivory."

"I like the ivory," Tessa commented. "It's got the halter top strap."

"But the sea-foam dress has spaghetti straps. It's cute," Renee argued.

"I like them all," Chloe said predictably.

I put my face in my hands and moaned.

My mom put her arm around me. "I think I know my daughter. Let's look at this logically, baby girl. The lavender's threading in the fabric is floral embroidery. That's flower girl esque, don't you think? You established that you didn't want that. And the ivory one is almost bridal. Too much. Jason said he likes yellow, so you probably wouldn't go wrong there. I think the yellow and the sea-foam green are your best bets. They're both excellent choices. Now you need to follow your heart."

"Wow...you're right. Thanks, Mom," I said, relief in my voice as I hugged her. "You're totally right."

"I am?" she asked, stunned and proud, like any mom upon discovering their teenage daughter values the mom's wisdom and opinions.

I tried to envision myself and imagine the night where I'm in the yellow dress or the sea-foam green dress. I tried to picture Jason's face when he sees me in either one. I needed to try each of them on one more time.

"This is it," I said at last, standing in the yellow gown.

"You sure?" my mom asked.

I nodded. "It brings out my blonde hair. This yellow reminds me of sunlight. And I like that. Yellow won't be a popular choice. I may be one of three girls wearing it."

Everybody was excited by my choice. I feel confident I picked the right one. Jason's already expecting yellow, so I won't disappoint.

Whew. I have my prom dress. The hardest part is over. My mom will help me with my makeup, I picked out shoes, and Jason is taking care of the tickets. All is ready. I can't believe how soon it'll be here!