The Fifteenth Year

December: Part 1

It sounded as if the streets were running, and then the streets stood still. Eclipse was all we could see at the window, and awe was all we could feel.  - Emily Dickinson

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Wednesday, December 1, 2004

Dear Friend,

I have been writing in my journal for over four months now. Totally awesome. It's been getting chilly here in Cali and my tan is winding down. Cardigans are my newest friend and I'm wearing bright and happy colored ones because I refuse to succumb to dreariness that is winter with its gloomy colors and mild wind.

Chloe's birthday is next Friday so she's having a party and Tessa, Renee and I are all going. She invited all of us. Isn't that nice? My three awesome friends all get along.

Thursday, December 2, 2004

Dear Friend,

I'm struggling to get an A in algebra. Math is my poorest subject but I'm on track to be an honors student this semester so I'm trying to buckle down. It doesn't help that I also have my civil rights history test on Monday to study for. We can even write a report on what we learned for extra credit. I want to do it, but math sort of takes more importance over it.

After the final bell rang and my class began to leave, I grabbed my books and raced to the door.

"Hey, Harriet, wait up!" I called, rushing over to my classmate.

She turned to me, looking at her watch distractedly. "Yeah?"

"So this test on Monday, it's a test I'm having a hard time fully preparing for because I'm juggling math. My grades aren't where I'd like them to be. Any chance you'd want to have a cram session this weekend? If you're awesome at math, you could help me. I could help you in whatever subject you'd like..."

"I don't need a tutor, Wallace. I have plans this weekend."

I bristled. She was always so cold to me when I've been nothing but nice to her all school year. What was her deal?

"Harriet, have I, like, offended you at some point?"

She sighed and adjusted her backpack strap on her shoulder. "I'm not sure I get your angle."

"What angle? What are you talking about?"

"I see you sitting at lunch with your friends."

"Right. And I've invited you to sit with us numerous times. What's your point?"

"I'm not interested in being your token black friend, Wallace."

I was dumbfounded. "Harriet, I've never befriended you because you were black. I was nice to you because you're a good student and you seemed really sweet. I guess I was wrong." I made a move to walk past her.

"Wait," I heard behind me.

I turned and looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I guess I've been pretty...frigid lately. It's...my mother. She's not doing so well health-wise and...it's just us, so I don't really have time for social stuff, okay? I'm not like other teenagers. I got a lot riding on this. If I don't get a scholarship, I don't know how I'd be able to afford college. My mom needs the money for her care. I take my grades really seriously."

"So do I, Harriet. I'm not saying we go to a rave afterwards. I'm asking if you want to study. Really study. Like, in a library and everything. With vending machine chips. But no dip, because let's not get crazy."

She smirked. "All right, you've made your point. I guess I could work in a couple hours on Saturday. You just want to meet there at one o'clock?"

I nodded. "That sounds fine."

So now I guess I have a studying session with Harriet this weekend. I can't believe she thought I was making her a charity case! I guess it makes sense why she's been so closed off. She feels like she needs to be home caring for her mom right now, which is actually kind of noble. It also probably didn't look good that I was asking the only black girl in our class to help studying the civil rights movement (math too, but still...). It's not like she had any relatives involved in that. The last thing I am is a racist. I'll be sure to let her know again that my intentions are purely professional studying honor student to honor student. I wasn't taking advantage of the color of her skin for a grade. Whether she becomes a friend or not, it's important to me that she knows this.

Friday, December 3, 2004

Dear Friend,

I can't write long - there's a hockey game on TV and I really want to see who wins. I'm taking a break from my algebra book so I can have fresh eyes tomorrow when I go over some of the problems with Harriet. The commercial is over now, so adios!

Saturday, December 4, 2004

Dear Friend,

The cram session went well. I feel a lot more confident about the tests next week now. Harriet, as it turns out, is really quite good at math and she made for a nice tutor. We quizzed each other back and forth on questions for the civil rights test using the key in the back of our history book. I can see why Harriet doesn't have friends, though. It's not because she wasn't pleasant today. She was. She's very passionate about school; the idea of Ivy League and providing for her mother. I told her I understand caring for her mom and school must take up a lot of her time, but her mother didn't have to be the only person she can count on. That's when she told me her grandmother passed away when she was in seventh grade and it was really hard on her. Her grandmother actually knew Rosa Parks. I was stunned. Harriet said that's why her middle name is Rosa.

When we parted ways for the afternoon, I was pleased by the outing and the confidence and knowledge I felt I now had.

"Harriet...we would still be friends, you know," I told her as we walked out of the library together.

"I can handle a study buddy. Let's keep it there. For now," she said with a smile.

"I can work with that. You're a pretty kick-ass study partner."

She laughed. "See you in school, then."