The Fifteenth Year

October: Part 3

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

Dear Friend,

While Monique is recovering in the hospital, I went to school and then afterwards hopped to Renee's house and she couldn't believe I hadn't told Jason my secret after everything that's happened. And you wonder why Tessa and Renee are best friends.

"I'm scared, Renee. It was so wasn't the right moment."

"Cassie, he grabbed your hand and held you. That's incredibly hot. That is so moment you say something."

"No, it wasn't like that. It was out of the condition of his mother, and it meant nothing."

"Yeah? So then why did he turn back to look at you before he went to see her?" she probed. When I couldn't respond, she said, "Exactly."

"It didn't seem like the right thing to do. It was inconsiderate timing."

"I still think you're crazy. And about this perfect moment - is it drawing nearer? How much longer? A couple weeks? A couple months? The sooner, the better, girl. Just rip the band-aid off already."

I sighed. Everything she said makes sense, but it's so hard. "It doesn't mean he's forgiven me, Renee. I was there, he needed a friend, he reacted. I don't know that he's completely let it go yet."

"You had a fight. Everybody has fights. Go talk to him. Think about it. After all this went down with his mom, a fight like that should seem small and silly in comparison."

"That's a good point. I just...I want things to go back and fix what I said. Fix all of it. I hate to see Jason hurt because it makes me hurt. I don't know how to get his forgiveness."

"Honey, just talk to him."

I know she's right.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004

Dear Friend,

Don't you find it interesting that Lydia and I can actually have one thing in common? That's scary when you think about it. Even scarier when you think about how we like the same guy. That's the only thing we have in common though! Okay, so we both have a brother. Although I am trying to forget that.