The Fifteenth Year

January: Part 7

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Dear Friend,

Naturally, I was in a funk all day. Just when I thought Jason was giving me space, I go and do something stupid like bump into him at the football stadium and open that door for him to reach out again. Why wouldn't he think I was ready to talk? I was there, wasn't I? But then I ran away. Should've been a clear indication that I was still avoiding. Yet, here he is calling me again. Just once today for all I know. I made up some lame excuse, of course. I'm not ready to face him and not even Chloe (my voice of reason) can change that.

Brendan got his keys on Friday to his new place. The leasing office is closed today, so he's thankful he doesn't have to wait until tomorrow to have access to the apartment. He wanted to start moving stuff in slowly today. He's making a full transition next week when my parents can help him move his bed. He asked me if I wanted to help him take some boxes over there.

"Why would I want to help you leave, traitor?" I scowled, hands on my hips.

"Because you're a good sister?"

I narrowed my eyes.

He rolled his. "Fine. And we can order Chinese take-out afterwards?"

I sighed. "I'll get my jacket."

So we loaded up his Honda with a good amount of boxes and drove to his apartment complex. When we entered the building and climbed fortunately only one flight of stairs with heavy boxes, I took a look around.

"This place isn't half bad, Bren," I allowed, reluctantly. 

"Yeah, it's in a good area. Safe. Lot of the guys are rooming here instead of on campus. Rob and I thought it made sense to split a two-bedroom ourselves. Plus, it's got a dishwasher and central air, so that's nice," he answered.

There was an awkward silence as I looked around sadly.

"Come on," he urged finally. "We got a lot of trips of unloading to do."

So after five different times retreating to the car to bring in boxes (who knew that much could fit in a Honda Accord?), we sat out sweaty selves on his hardwood floor and caught our breath. He ordered the Chinese from his cell.

"So..." he said, stretching out. "Think I'll be all right here? Not sure why you're harping on this so much. I'm always gone, always busy. This isn't like a big change or anything."

I sat Indian-style on the floor and let out a breath. "I know. It's not like that. It's...annoying is all."

His brow furrowed. "Annoying? Interesting choice of word."

"Everything's changing all at once. I get everybody needs to do their own thing and march to the beat of their drum, follow their heart or whatever, but crap! This is like an episode of Pimp My Ride or something. People always have to go with what's different. They can't be happy with what they have."

He chuckled. "Pimp My Ride? What? Cassie, it's not like you'll never see me again. We've established this. I get the feeling this isn't all about me."

I picked at a scuff mark on my shoe.

"Maybe this has something to do with Jason?"

My eyes lifted to his knowing look. "...How do you know about that?" I asked, feeling a lump form in my throat.

"I'm not moved out yet, Cassie. He's called the house practically every day for over a week. And he called me too."

My eyes enhanced in size. "He - he did?"

Brendan nodded. "Look, I don't know what's going on with you two, but whatever went down, he sounds really sorry and he wants to fix it. What are you guys even fighting about?"

"Just a misunderstanding," I murmured softly.

"This isn't you. You're one of the most forgiving people I know. Remember when I accidentally killed your goldfish in the third grade? You bawled your eyes out and by dinnertime you were giving me a hug and lifting the shun on me."

"That was different. That was an accident."

"Wasn't this?"

I sighed.

"Cassie, talk to him. Give the guy a chance to make it right. We've lived next door to him a long, long time. He's not going to go away. Greg and Monique are family to Mom and Dad. I'm sure whatever it is can't be that terrible."

I flinched. "I said some pretty harsh things."

"And you'll say more harsh things down the road. That's friendship. You don't take off when it gets bad. You guys have been friends too long to let one fight come between you."

"What did he say to you exactly?"

Brendan shrugged. "Not much. But it's apparent he feels bad. He said something about being ready to have an adult conversation about it, whatever that means."

I shifted uncomfortably, but felt a tinge of warmth in my gut. Jason didn't want to apologize profusely to make himself feel better. He wanted to give me a better friend.

"All right. Maybe I can call him. Soon," I offered.

I guess it was time to talk to Jason. And who convinced me to do it? Brendan, of all people...

Monday, January 17, 2005

Dear Friend,

I'm definitely going to have to schedule that study sesh with Harriet. Miss Burgess has assigned us so much homework tonight. It seems like we're having big tests on just about everything. It's mostly review; making sure we remember everything we learned this year before Christmas break emptied our brains, but still. I don't want to start the new semester on the wrong foot. I passed her a note and asked if Wednesday after school would work for her and she said yes.

"Honor Students Unite," I scrawled back on the note, discreetly passing it back to her while Miss Burgess was facing the board.

When I got the note passed to me for the final time, it said, "I got your back, Wallace."