Language: Taglish
Started in Nov 2011 | Revamped in July 2018 | Finished in March 2019
Published in Paperback (Popfiction) in October 2018
Blurb:
Miala's ex, Lenard is coming back to her life after 3 years. How dare he? After cheating with her, he l...
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"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Riley mouthed as Mindy dragged Miala out of there.
'Yun na lang ang huling narinig niya mula sa lalaki bago sila tuluyang makalayo. And she wasn't even blaming him for this. Alam naman niyang hindi siya nito kayang pagtakpan palagi. And if anything, she owes him for he allowed her to leave earlier. Kahit na kapalit nito ay mawala rin 'yung trust ni Mindy dito.
Tahimik lang si Mindy even as they get in the cab. Nararamdaman ni Miala ang panginginig ng katawan ng nanay niya, and she knows dahil nagpipigil lang ito ng galit dahil nasa labas sila. She could've experience worse kung nasa loob na agad sila ng bahay. And she knew that. Kilalang-kilala niya naman ang nanay niya.
At kung ordinaryong sitwasyon lang siguro ito, manginginig na rin ang laman niya— sa takot. Dahil takot na takot naman talaga siya dito eh. Because that's what her mom wants. Ang matakot siya dito. Ever since she was young, her mom thinks that fear incites discipline. Na kapag takot ka sa magulang mo, it prevents you from going astray.
Pero ngayon, parang wala na lang. Siguro pagod na lang siya talaga kaya kahit na mukhang sobrang lagot na talaga niya, she just sat there, quietly.
Dahil ano pa nga bang puwedeng mas masamang mangyari? Ano pa bang ikaka-sama ng relasyon nilang mag-ina. She knows, deep inside her, the fear is still there. The respect is still hanging at bay. But she is just so tired, and numb. And maybe dumb, for all the impetus around her.
She just feels like an empty shell.
Kaya nang makarating sila sa inuupahang apartment, dahan-dahan na lang siyang sumunod sa ina. She thought this must what the people in the death row felt like as they tread their way towards their last place.
"Talagang hindi ka na takot sa'kin Miala 'no?!" Sigaw ni Mindy nang makapasok sila. Miala bitterly smiled not to mock her mom. That grin spreads across her face because that's just what she's thinking. About her dread and terror towards her mom.
"Bakit ba kailangang takot ako sa'yo ma?"
Mindy was taken aback.
"Anong sabi mo?"
"Sabi ko ma, bakit kailangang takot ako sa'yo?" Miala repeated kahit alam niyang tinanong 'yun ng nanay niya hindi para ulitin niya.
"I know ma, you just want the best for me. Pero hindi ko po naiintindihan kung bakit feeling niyo, dapat maramdaman mo 'yung takot ko para lang masabi mo na mabait akong anak."
"Sasampalin kita diyan Miala Grace!"
"Ma, alam mo ba, 'yung takot na 'yun, hindi 'yun naging dahilan para maging disiplinado ako. It just made me less transparent to you! Na dahil natatakot ako sa mga sasabihin mo, sa mga judgments mo, hindi na ako makapagsabi ng kahit na ano. Kahit ano, ma!"
