Language: Taglish
Started in Nov 2011 | Revamped in July 2018 | Finished in March 2019
Published in Paperback (Popfiction) in October 2018
Blurb:
Miala's ex, Lenard is coming back to her life after 3 years. How dare he? After cheating with her, he l...
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Ilang minuto nang nawala sa punto de bista niya ang motorsiklo sakay si Andres at Miala, pero nakatulala pa rin si Lenard sa windshield ng kotse niya.
Hindi niya alam kung bakit siya umabot sa ganito. He knew since the beginning that he was not just alone. He's also lonely. Very lonely. The point that holds on to the first connection he sees.
He's such a desperate connection-seeker.
He knows his faults.
He's bad at all the basic things in life: Expressing the right feelings. Making the right decisions. Telling someone what he really wants. Explaining why he acts a certain way. Paying attention to people. And knowing exactly what he wants.
Hindi niya alam kung paano ito nagsimula. Pero simula nang magkagulo sa bahay nila, all he wants is to be okay. Sa unang problema pa lang, gusto na agad niya ng madaling solusyon.
He was so hurt and drowned in the dark place that he's in, na unang bagay na magbigay sa kanya ng liwanag, kakapitan na niya. Para siyang gamu-gamo. Lalapit at lalapit siya sa daan papuntang liwanag na kahit delikado, tuloy-tuloy pa rin. He didn't have enough foresight to know that these things weren't really good for him. Kaya 'yung totoong kailangan niya at may kailangan sa kanya, nakakalimutan niya na.
Isa siyang hangal.
When he thought his family is being destroyed by his dad, gusto niya na lang lumipad papunta sa nanay niya.
And when the tables were turned, ayaw niya nang may marinig tungkol dito, na pati si Miala, nadamay in this dark new light towards his mom. Na buong akala niya, sa bawat paglapit ni Angeli sa kanya- sa bawat sinasabi nito on what he thought is an escape to all his mess, makakabuti. Pero mas napasama pa.
When he thought he really got Angeli pregnant, baka ito na talaga ang chance niya para itama lahat ng mali sa buhay niya. That maybe he can be a parent he has always wanted. He was such an escapist that he can't even process that he can't start all over again without cleaning up all the mess in the past.
He knew he can't just go back especially when he fucked up again. Noong nalaman niyang hindi naman talaga buntis si Angeli, hindi na niya alam talaga kung paano magsisimula. Alam niyang hindi na niya kayang balikan pa lahat ng naiwan niya. At kung sisimulan niya man, sigurado mahihirapan siya.
Hindi ba't dumayo pa siya papuntang Del Verde campus kahit na ayaw niya na ring magpunta sa lugar na 'yun? The first time he saw Miala being so happy following the dream they built together.
He already knew na napagiwanan na siya ng panahon. That life went on and on. Na ilang beses pa rin sumikat ang araw. Umikot pa rin ang mundo. Naging normal pa rin ang lahat ng nasa paligid niya. At siya na lang siguro 'yung naiwan sa lugar kung saan siya tumigil. O baka nga mas lalo pa siyang lumayo pa. Parang siyang tumanda ng paurong. Pero noong nakita niya si Miala noong araw na 'yun, mas lalo niya pang naintindihan kung paano na siya naiwan.
