I Heart Kuya (Completed, 2019)

Chapter 39 - Sinfully Sweet, Fatally Loved (September 18, 2018)

Noong una, umiiyak lang sila. They are both crying at their doomed miserable situation. She thought? Deserve ba talaga nito ang maging ganito? Gaano ba kabigat kasalanan nila sa universe na parang pinaglaruan lang sila ng anong kamay ng tadhana. They are both silent but perceptive.

Sobrang gulong-gulo din sa pagmamaneho si Lenard na muntik na silang mabangga ng kotse na nag-cut sa harap nila. The agit driver of the SUV even rolled his windows down at pinagtuturo si Lenard.

"Anak ng putsa! Kung 'di kayo marunong magmaneho, magpakamatay na lang kayo. Salot sa lipunan ba't 'di pa nagbigti.

Mia knew wala rin naman silang kasalanan. Lost in thought si Lenard pero mabagal lang ang papatakbo nito. It was the SUV who beat the red light.

Hindi umiimik si Lenard but she saw him clench his jaw. Pati ang kamay nito over the gift shifter is fisted into a ball.

"Hayaan mo na." Nilagay niya ang kamay niya over his hand to keep him calm. Hindi pwedeng mapasabak pa sila sa road rage in their condition.

In turn, hahawakan din ni Lenard ang kamay niya. Magugulat si Miala pero hindi babawiin.

Dahil walang napala, aalis ang galit na driver at maiiwan sila.

Lenard continues to drive. Bibitawan pansamantala ang kamay ni Miala as he shifts pero hinawakan ito mula.

Mapapailing si Mia pero hindi niya babawiin.

Parang bumalik si Miala sa pagkabata. Noong mga panahong nagtatago pa sila. Lenard drove with his left hand holding hers. Occasionally kissing it.

There were no words for them. Their actions are overzealous enough to speak for themselves.

"Come." Pumarada si Lenard sa isang park. Pero ayaw lumabas ni Miala. "Come on."

"Saan tayo?"

"Anywhere..."

As soon as they step out, Lenard immediately links his hand on hers. Pero pilit tinatanggal ni Miala. Ayaw niyang madarang.

"Somebody will see us."

"It's okay..." Pilit na pinatatag ni Lenard ang paghawak niya. "It's okay." He repeats himself.

Naglakad-lakad lang sila. Miala still feels awkward. Lenard feels so different yet so familiar. They way he fondles at the back of hand. The way he fixes his unkempt bangs. Parang hindi lumipas ang panahon. Sobrang saya saya niya, but deep inside of her, there's something throbbing. It's the kind of pain that she's keen of. Dahil isa rin naman siyang baliw.

Pagtapos nilang maglibot-libot, naupo sila sa backseat ng kotse. Still saying nothing. Nakahiga lang si Miala likod, her head on his lap. Hinaplos-halos nito ang ulo niya.

Maya-maya she can feel herself cry.

"Why?" Nagpapanic na tanong nito. Pinunasan ang luha niya as he kisses her forehead.

"Mali kasi. Hindi pwede."

Dahil umabot na lang siya sa point na ganito.

"I'll make things right..."

Pero patuloy lang ding umiiyak si Miala. This is how toxic they are. They even know that they love each other, but the circumstances just won't let them be really happy.

"How do you even make this right?"

"Sobrang walang kwenta kong tao Mia. And I don't know why you loved me the you did. I have more issues more than I could ever count. And I know that saying sorry doesn't change anything, but I will apologize until I set things right. I promise itatama ko 'to."