Language: Taglish
Started in Nov 2011 | Revamped in July 2018 | Finished in March 2019
Published in Paperback (Popfiction) in October 2018
Blurb:
Miala's ex, Lenard is coming back to her life after 3 years. How dare he? After cheating with her, he l...
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Miala clutched her phone so hard her hands hurt. Nakasakay siya sa bus pero hindi niya rin alam kung tamang desisyon ba na nagtipid siya at hindi nagtaxi papunta sa apartment na pupuntahan. Alam niyang malaki ang isang libo, pero hindi niya alam kung hanggang saan siya aabot sa paghahanap na ito. Handa siyang mahirapan sa paghahanap na ito, but she still hoped that he would find him easily this time.
"Lord..." Aniya habang binubuhay mula ang cellphone na isinara niya noong isang gabi.
For the longest time, ayaw niya na lang itong buksan. Hindi na naman kasi niya alam kung paano iha-handle ang stress sa pag-iisip kung ano na bang puwede pang masamang mangyari eh. She knows at one point or another, she really would need to face everything head on. Pero hindi niya alam kung bakit for the past few days, parang gusto niya na lang tumakas.
Sobrang daming texts at missed calls ang nandoon mula sa iba't-ibang tao, pero most of them are from Andres. Tumaas na naman ang stress levels niya when she opened her phone again. Para siyang tanga because part of herself wanted to immediately explain everything. Pero hindi niya rin alam kung anong puwedeng sabihin. She knows she doesn't have the right words to say.
And the truth of the matter is, she's afraid. Very much.
Afraid to read all of Andres' messages. Afraid to know what he felt after hearing everything. Na hindi pa nanggaling sa kanya. Afraid to think what he has thought of her dahil man lang siya nagreply o nagbigay ng kahit na anong paliwanag dito.
Kaya higit sa lahat, ngayon, mas takot siya na wala na lang at hindi niya na lang 'to mahanap. That this will just end here.
Na basta, basta na lang. Just—- fleeting.
For a minutes, she was resolute. Tinawagan niya si Andres. Ramdam na ramdam niya ang tibok ng puso niya hanggang sa tenga, constructing pool of words into her mind. Kung saan-saan na tumalon ang utak niya sa kung anong puwedeng sabihing matino sa oras na sagutin ni Andres ang tawag.
But he didn't.
Ni hindi man lang nag-ring ang telepono nito. It was just, off.
Off.
Kaya tuloy mas lalong nawalan ng pag-asa si Miala. Pero alam niyang hindi na siya puwedeng bumalik at sumuko pa. Kung hindi niya man ma-contact ang telepono nito, that means she really need to be there. To find him, and tell him directly what she wanted to say.
Bahala na kung ano man.
On the way, she also tried to construct a few good messages. May mga mahahaba. May mga simpleng pagbati lang— but she just ended up deleting most of them. In the end, she just asked where he is and waited.
And of course, there were no replies.
Talagang kailangang-kailangan niya ngang mahanap ang lugar ng mga ito.
