Kiss me hard before you go (#Wattys2015)

CHAPTER 25 (Drown me)

How do we defy against the waves? I guess I will never know the answers to that. Mahirap kalabanin ang parehong insecurities sa amin ni Victoria. I understand her reasons of protecting herself from heartaches and my insecurities of letting her slip away.

Sa totoo lang, nakakatakot isipin na iiwanan na niya ako. What if pagbalik niya sa US bigla niyang marealize na wala palang kaming dalawa? The thought hurts, what if it really happens? Parang nakakamatay naman yata iyon.

I silently watch her sleeping while the others are swimming in the pool. It’s 9PM and thank goodness she’s getting better. I watched how her long eyelashes are lying on that pinkish skin of hers. Ang  sarap panuorin ang bawat galaw niya habang nakasandal ang kanyang ulo sa aking dibidb.

He plush lips are definitely worth kissing for, but right now is not the time. We’re going to take things slow. Ayoko naman na mapwersa siyang sagutin ako. I guess trauma pa siya sa mga kalokohang ginawa ko. I was BEDDING a lot of women tuwing stressed ako and that made me feel like a man-whore.

She still guarding her hearty from another heartbreak at ayoko namang maging takot siya. I want her secured. I want her feeling me against her skin… no, I want her to feel me everywhere. I was really sorry for what I did and here all I thought confident na ako.

“Pare, binakuran mo yan ah.” Sabi nung isa kong katrabaho.  He’s smiling at me na para bang may bago sa mga ginagawa ko. He’s mocking me.

“Oo naman. Akin ang akin.” Tinawanan ko na lang siya.

“A-andrei… sorry nga pala hindi ako nakapagbake ha. Promise bukas talaga gagawan kita ng muffins mo.” Kinakapos niyang sabi habang nagpupunas ng pawis. Nagmadali siyang pumunta dahil lang doon? Yes, I’m quite expecting her baked goods every Friday kasi nga naging routine na niya.

“Never mind. It’s okay.” Ngumiti siya at lumakad palayo. Napasin ko may mali sa paglalakad niya. She;s limping at mukhang nahihirapan.

Dumating ang twin brother ko at nakasuot ng jersey. “ Pumasok pa rin siya, sobrang kulit talaga.” He’s looking at her it’s as if may gusto siya kay Victoria. It was wrong of me to ditch her like that if something’s wrong.

“Ha? Bakit naman hindi siya papasok?” Tanong ko sa kanya.

“Hindi mo alam? Nabunggo ang sasakyan nila kahapon, silang tatlo ng yaya at driver. Okay naman silang lahat kaso nagkaminor injuries pa rin siya. Dapat nga hindi na pumasok, kasi inoobserbahan pa daw siya. Sabi daw kasi ng doctor sa kanya, baka may internal bleeding.”

Bakit alam niya iyon at ako pa ang nahuli sa balita?

“Bakit alam mo?!”

“Chill twin bro! Wag mo akong pagseselosan ha. Vcikie is a good friend of mine and I ought to keep her that way. She may be funny, introvert and nerdy at some time, pero she’s classy as fvck. Hindi siya kasing arte ng ibang babae, pero alam mong iba siya sa kanilang lahat.”

Napaisip ako. Oo nga, naiiba siya sa kanilang lahat. She got this grace na parang imposible mong hindi mapansin. Alam kong jerk ako sa kanya, pero that doesn’t make me less of an observant of her.

“Eh bakit nga kasi alam mo?!” I asked again and I was frantic for an answer.

“Ah, kasi kanina sabay kaming naglunch. Nagshare kami ng food since kaninang umaga may Gawain sa student council. Sinamahan ko na lang kasi iika-ika maglakad eh, ‘di na niya kaya maglakad ng malayo.” Sana inalalayan ko siya, but that would be stupid kasi nga nililigawan ko ang best friend niya. I am courting Marian for Pete’s sake.

I imagined her cold beads of sweat. Kaya naman pala. Nakaramdam ako ng awa. Dapat may umaalalay sa kanya. Dapat meron.

She tried walking from her classroom hanggang dito sa auditorium para lang sabihin sa akin iyon? Kamusta na kaya siya?

Nakaramdam ako ng inis. Bakit ba lagi na sila magkasama ng twin brother ko eh hindi naman sila magkaklase ngayong taon. Last year pa sila magkaklase at bakit ba ako naiinis?

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Andrei is cuddling me at my bed at kinabahan ako. That is a bit fast. We were talking about taking it a little bit slow pero bakit hindi ko siya mapigilang dumikit sa akin? Yes, malandi rin ako because I liked the feeling of him against me, pakiramdam ko kasi nabubuhay ang dugo ko kapag nandyan siya.

I felt his nose on my nape, like he’s sniffing me. I feel so alive right now and this moment feels like I want him to make his. I want his marks all over, pero is that the way to make him fall in love with me? Sabi nila, Andrei is not capable of loving kasi he treats women like his toys.

Am I just a toy to Andrei?

“You brown hair turns me on, Vickie.” He said and those words made my insides grumble like crazy. Grabe naman. That simple sentence blew me away, and damn his sexy voice. I want to please him in every way, but my head holds my heart back, na para bang manigurado muna ako.

“My hair isn’t brown, Andrei. Imagination mo lang iyan.” I said and he continued smelling me like crazy at mukhang nababaliw na siya. Kung saan-saan na umaabot ang kamaya niya at natatakot ako na kung saan ito umabot.

“It’s brown, just like your eyes.” And his hot breath is against my skin. Damn, I want to moan from this sexual tension! Hindi ko na rin alam kung bakit ba lumalabas ang WHOREMONES ko. Imagine, I’ve never been intimate with someone, pero totoo pala na lahat ng babae ay may tinatagong WHOREMONES like what I read in a lifestyle magazine and it’s insane!

“Are you flirting with me? Stop flirting…” He kissed my nape. “… with me.” Then he began kissing my nape like there’s hunger in every movement. That drove me crazy. Napahawak ako sa bedsheet and I literally froze from this burning sensation that he’s been giving me! OMG… Is this the time… I’m losing my V card???

“I’m not flirting with you… I’m making love with you.”

Damn, he kissing my lips now and that made me twitch my body. I’m twitching from pleasure! That kiss sent thousands of flying butterflies in my stomach and now I’m running my hands to his hair like I want to own him.

I stripped off his shirt and damn I saw a tribal tattoo near his v-line. Damn that v-line! He pinned me on the bed and I felt his hot tongue on my collarbones. It made me feel incinerated by pleasure and passion at the same time. I want to feel every inch of him in me.

He began taking off every piece of clothing I have and his touch on my naked skin feels amazing like I am being touched by a God. Gosh, I want him too much that I felt drowning in his kisses. I want to drown in his love.

God, drown me even more, Andrei… drown me.