impossible | barry allen

23

Six months. It has been six months since the singularity. Six months since the city was saved. Six months since Team Flash split up. Within those six months, a lot has changed.

Cisco and Caitlin had taken up different jobs, Cisco working at the police department, helping build tech to stop different meta humans if needed, Caitlin working at Mercury Labs. Iris and I continued to work at Picture News, and putting both of ourselves as basic bait for danger for a good story.

I had shoved my feelings for Barry, along with anything Eobard said to me before he died that night, deep down. I wasn't going to let them emerge. Barry has been very distant from us all, which made it slightly easier for me to make myself get over him. He has been taking care of most the metas on his own at star labs, keeping us away, not matter how hard we tried to help. We all knew he blamed himself for Ronnie and Eddie's death that night, and we didn't know what to do to help him cope, with him pushing us all away.

Peter Youree was his name. Peter was- currently. my boyfriend. I decided two months ago in order to fully push Barry away from my thoughts, I would basically need a rebound. That's where Peter came in. He was one of my friends in elementary school. We somehow got in touch and now, we were together. We had have many ups and downs, and it was now getting stressful and frustrating. But I still had feelings for him.

I slowly walk over to Peter, who was sitting on my couch, sipping out from a can of beer, as I held out the plate of food I had just made for him. "Do you wanna- uh- sober up and eat something?" I whisper quietly, my voice unusually high as you basically hear the slight fear in my voice.

"I said I didn't want any food, Zee." Peter spats at me, his voice deep, his dark blue eyes looking into mine, his brunette hair a mess, dressed in a t-shirt, and some joggers. Peter has had a rough few months, and it completely changed him. The very sight of him drinking, made the fear increase in my chest.

"You haven't eaten anything all day." I say quietly. He held up his beer. "Peter, you've been drinking all day. please? I'll leave you alone after."

I hear him huff lightly before setting down his beer and holding his hands out for the plate. "You care too much." He speaks, as I placed the plate into his hands. "That's because I love you." I say, slight hurt threaded in my tone.

I watch his eyes soften, causing a warm feeling of relief wash through my body. He sets the plate down on the coffee table, holding his arms out for me. I slowly slip into his arm, seating myself onto the couch next to him, wrapping my arms loosely around his chest, laying my head on his shoulder. He hugs me tightly, before pushing his cheek against the top of my head. "I love you too." He says quietly before sitting back and holding me, while scooping small amounts of food into his mouth, as I let him.

My thoughts trail to something else rather than my previous fear of him getting angry at me again. Iris told me she would talk to Barry tonight, because of the upcoming Flash Day that everyone but myself has been trying to convince him to go to. I really hoped he listened to her.

She's the love of his life after all. Why wouldn't he listen to her?

-

"Zee, I'm serious you need to talk to him. You're the one that's been pushing Barry away more than he has been pushing you away, and you're our last hope. He values your opinion more than he values anyone else's." Iris says to me as she walks into my apartment that following morning, greeted by Peter staring at her with a glare from the couch with a hangover, and myself who was standing at the kitchen island, also watching her. "No he doesn't-" I say, cleaning up around the island.

"Yes he does!-" Iris says but Peter cuts her off, "Can you not be so loud?" He grunts, before running his hand through his hair.

Iris looks at him, a small glare falling upon her expression, "Can you not get drunk every night and put her through shit? No? Then shut up." She turns to me again, "Yes he does value your opinion more. I heard you guys talking that night before he-" She stops herself, glancing at Peter, realizing he doesn't know what we were talking about. "Before he made that huge decision that would change his life forever. He asked you once more if he should do it and if you- you Zee- if you said not to, he wouldn't."

I go silent just looking at her. "You need to talk to him now, and convince him to go." She says.

"What's so big about this anyway? Who cares about Barry Allen-" Peter starts to say but Iris cuts him off, "You know what, your girlfriend does. She cares about him a lot. And she is going to go talk to him, because she cares." Iris looks at me.

I stay silent, knowing she was right.

-

I walk into Barry's lab at ccpd, dusting off my shirt lightly, holding onto my coat that I had just taken off. My footsteps echoed through his lab, his back facing me and towards his window and desk, where he must be working on something. I was dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, and a cropped sweater, along with some converse. Barry doesn't bother to turn, as he already starts to speak, "Iris, I'm not going."

I slowly put my coat onto his office chair, before crossing my arms, "Not Iris." He pauses then slowly turns around, his gaze landing on me, his features immediately softening. "Hey." He greets, a small smile slowly covering his lips as he takes in the sight of me, letting out a breath.

I smile lightly, holding eye contact with him.

Feelings.

I walk over to him, hugging him loosely, like I would with anybody. Even Peter. He wraps his arms around me and hugs back tightly. I held on tighter.

Feelings.

We step away from each other, before I clear my throat. "Can I do my convincing now?" I ask, knowing that he knew why I was here. His smile slowly fades, "You can try."

Boyfriend.

"Barry-" I say but stop myself. It takes me a second to collect what I'm gonna say before unintentionally and without realizing, grabbing his hand, pulling him over to one of his desks, seating myself onto a spot that isn't occupied by objects, then held both his hands, looking up at him.

"I know. You're blaming yourself for Ronnie and Eddie's deaths." He immediately breaks eye contact with me as I say that, causing me to instantly speak up and try to get his attention back, "Hey, no, look at me."

His gaze slowly connects with mine again. "We all know they were hero's. They saved our asses that day. And even if the city doesn't know that- we all do. Barry- sometimes a hero like you needs help taking huge obstacles down. Wether it's another speedster- or a freaking- enormous black hole in the sky. Even if it sometimes takes sacrifice. Eddie protected us. Ronnie helped you saved the city. It wasn't your fault. They chose to help, they chose to be hero's." He stays quiet, just looking at me.

"Everyone out there? They want to see the hero that is still standing. The hero that did everything in his power, to help for the past year, and now put the most effort he could into saving this city six months ago. You're the hero they're going to see save them every single day until you aren't capable of doing it anymore." I lightly squeeze his hands in a comforting manner, "And I don't think that's any time soon. You're the person that would help someone even without powers, Barry. This city believes in you. Iris believes in you. Cisco- Caitlin, Joe- myself. I believe in you. Can you please. go get your damn key to the city?"

A small laugh leaves his mouth, causing my heart to flutter.

Boyfriend.

The sound of his laughter fades away slowly, as he nods slightly, "Ill go." He says very quietly, looking into my eyes, yet again.

I manage to lightly nod, as I struggle to break the eye contact.

Feelings.

Before I could even process what was going on, Barry had leant down lightly, one hand leaving mine, the other cupping the side of my face, tilting his head to the side slightly, his lips gently landing on mine.

Feelings.