Chapter Twenty-Three

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It's been weeks since I've last seen Alexander and my mood has been disintegrating. I missed him. I've spent my days working and sleeping, hoping to pass the time until I saw him again. Andy finally moved out of Naomi's apartment, so I had my home to myself again. I kind of missed her company at night when I felt lonely, but I knew it was for the best, we both needed our own space. Isaac has been extremely busy with work and I couldn't be more thankful for the distance, it was almost painful to see him, he resembled so many of Alexander's traits.

Currently it was Saturday morning and Naomi and I were sitting crisscross on the living room floor in Alexander's home while Maria dictated the guest list. This was hell, I felt like I couldn't focus on anything, I couldn't breathe, it was like I was being suffocated more and more each second. I don't know why I haven't called off the wedding yet, maybe I was selfish. I haven't told Isaac what I've done, and I don't know if I ever will. I kept glancing towards the front door, hoping that he would come home, just so I could see him. His face was burned into my brain which kept the memory of him alive, but I wanted to see him, to touch him, to know that my feelings for him are real, that I'm not crazy and that he cares for me too. I felt completely lost as Naomi and Maria argued back and forth about whether Andy should be allowed to come to the wedding.

"Andy is Isaac's best man, not to mention his oldest friend. You need to get over yourself Naomi, he's coming." Maria snarls like a child.

"He is not coming. Jessica tell her." Naomi yelled. I rolled my eyes at them. Maria was intentionally pissing her off, which inevitably pissed me off. I hated her for more reasons than one and she continuously added to it. Alexander please save me, just come home.

"Can we discuss this later? Please?" I begged clenching my now throbbing head.

"No, you've procrastinated long enough. We need to finish the guest list today, so we can send out the invitations. It's going to be an early spring wedding." Maria barked. I glanced towards my best friends pleading eyes. I had to invite him, he's supposed to be Isaac's best man, there was no way around it. My mind was whirling when I finally came up with an idea.

"Naomi, he has to come." I finally stated. "But, you don't have to dance with him, you can dance with Marco instead."

Instantly her eyes lit up. She was infatuated with Marco ever since the night they spent together. He has been sending her flowers, begging her on dates and of course she's indulged in his offers. Regardless, I know seeing Andy will hurt her, but I hoped Marco could be her distraction.

"Deal." Naomi said before writing their names on the choreographed dance list. Originally, with her being my maid of honor, she was supposed to dance with Isaac's best man, but I don't mind making the exception for her. This was exhausting. I didn't want any of this, I didn't care who danced with who or what song was going to be our first dance, or what kind of flower arrangements would be best. I just wanted Alexander, I'd run away and never look back if he asked me. I'm breaking not only Isaac's heart, but my own as well. I should feel excited and happy planning my wedding, but instead I felt sick to my stomach, I was doing something I knew was wrong, but I couldn't call it off and I don't know why. I was a coward. It's been hours of nonstop wedding planning and we all wanted to pull our hair out. I laid on the hardwood floor just clicking my pen repeatedly until Naomi ripped it out of my hand.

"Pizza?" She asked leaning over my face. I smiled up at her nodding my head in agreement. At the mention of pizza, Maria's stomach growled loudly from her spot on the couch. Naomi being the sweetest person I know, invited her to come.

"No, that's okay. I'm sure I can find something around the house." Maria replies.

"Just come on," Naomi says pulling Maria by her arm trying to get her off the couch. She finally allows Naomi to pull her up and we all grab our purse, leaving our mess behind as we exit the house. Maria demanded to drive saying she didn't trust us with her life, so we piled into her car and headed into the city. We stopped at the first pizza shop we saw. We were all starving and cranky from planning my wedding all day and we couldn't wait any longer to eat. As soon as we walked through the door the delicious smell of melting cheese hit me. My mouth watered, and my stomach growled as we approached the counter.

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