Not What I Expected (A Marcel Fanfic)

Chapter 44

Despite my need to walk quickly to let out my anger, the darkness slows me down. I have to make sure I step on solid ground and not in a puddle or on a snake or stuff. The moon is shining brightly, but not brightly enough to allow me to see without squinting my eyes.

I feel like crying like a baby and punching someone at the same time. I don't wanna go back and I know no one will come get me; they probably already forgot I'm gone. Oh, how I hate parties, and how I hate 'trying' things. Especially illegal things.

I remember my phone in my pocket and take it out. For some reason, tears start streaming down my face but I ignore them; instead I turn on the flashlight app and the world is bright again.

I walk again, faster this time, and find an old camping spot: there's a black circle in the grass, where the fire was, and the grass is much shorter where the tent was set. I sit down on the log facing the former fire and wipe my tears away.

Fear starts to creep in as the quietness isn't so quiet anymore and my hoodie lets a bit of cold in. I can't remember the way back.

"I'm gonna throw up." I mumble to myself unconsciously, probably an attempt of my body to calm me down.

This is a very good example of why I like to think things through before I do them, acting on anger is something I should learn to stop doing. I'm going to be sleeping in the woods, alone, without a blanket or a tent and without anything to defend myself with. I'm probably going to die tonight, so I'm just going to reflect on how boring my life was.

I take a deep breath and as I exhale, my phone buzzes in my hand and I almost fall off the log. Caller ID: Marcel. Of course it's him, maybe he's feeling lonely and wants to cuddle with me. Cuddling with him would feel so nice... No. No, I'm not answering. But although I think it, my finger slides the answer button and I basically just stare at my thumb in disbelief.

"Delilah. Delilah, oh Christ, where are you baby?" Marcel's voice echoes through the speaker and I can hear the panic in his voice without even approaching the phone to my ear. "Baby, please answer me. I'm so sorry, can you please say you're ok?" his voice cracks. So does my heart.

"No, 'cause I'm not okay." says my stupid mouth.

"I'm coming right now, where are you?" by now he's panting.

"I don't know." I reply lazily. I'm just saying the truth.

"Did you get lost? Where did you go? Baby, please tell me where you went?" he says and somehow I can hear him in double. Maybe it's my tired brain who no longer sends commands to my body, or it's the fact he's very close to me.

"Away from you." I shrug, even though he probably can't see me.

"No, don't say that!" he shouts and then a sob escapes his throat, and now I'm sure he's very close because I can hear his sob with both ears.

"I can hear you." I say but the line goes dead.

I hear footsteps to my right and then Marcel runs out of the trees and into the light of my phone, and runs until he has his arms around me and his face hidden between my neck and shoulder. He's breathing heavily and holding me dangerously tight. His light sobs let me know he's trying hard to calm down without letting me know he's crying.

Crying. Because of me. A knot forms in my throat, but when he looks up at me and his eyes are bloodshot, I remember why I ran away from him in the first place.

"You're high." I accuse coldly. He desperately shakes his head.

"No, no! That was the only drag, I promise you baby." his eyes are still teary.