You make me ache

Ch37: Happy Couples and Roots.

 Troye's POV.

All day Tyler has hinted at various surprises, with the promise of slowly revealing his secrets one at a time. Introducing me to his safe place and explaining his deepest thoughts to me had enabled me to find my own sanctuary. As we had sat staring out at the vast expanse of sand and sea, I had felt my final insecurities about returning to a long distance relationship wash away with each of the crashing waves. It is my suspicion that we might have missed one of his secret surprises whilst we entangled ourselves together at home, but I am doubtful that anything could have topped our intimate, loving embraces in our bed sheets. Standing here in the park now, I know that his next surprise must be something incredible if he was unwilling to trade it for another round of our sensual connection in bed. This knowledge makes me both excited and nervous, so when Tyler's hands leave my face, I keep my eyes squeezed shut for just a second longer. My heart pounds with anticipation and I have no idea what to expect next but I can hear Tyler's uneven breathing behind me. Realising his aura of nerves; my body further bubbles with intrigue. I quickly make the decision to find out Tyler's mysterious secret and I allow my long lashes to flutter upwards to find the tree that Tyler has spoken about, before me.

I let out a barely audible gasp as I read what Tyler has carved into the bark and my thudding heart momentarily abandons me. Shock causes my head to spin and it sends the etched words spiralling into an unreadable blur. I don't realise until Tyler's hands grab me but my legs cave and without his support, I would have fallen to earthy grass. Tyler emits a gentle giggle but I know it is not one of mocking but more so one of apprehension. Finding my strength again, I straighten up and turn my body into my gorgeous man. My arms wrap around his torso, pressing myself tightly against him and I bury my face into his neck, eager for his body to soak me up, to consume and control me. He immediately tightens his grip on me and tilts his face so that it brushes into my wild hair. Before leaving the apartment neither of us bothered to shower due to Tyler's eagerness to come here and although I am sure my hair is tufty and my body sticky with sweat, I am unable to care. I know that all that matters are the next words that I choose to fall from my lips.             

Unsure if it has been minutes or seconds, I drag my face away from Tyler's soft neck and as I stand facing him I see his eyes brimming with excitement but his trembling lip reveals his slight anxiety. With our bodies still embraced I am unsure if it him or me that is shaking and causing us both to vibrate- I consider that perhaps it is both of our bodies that are wracked with a nervousness. I open my mouth to speak and Tyler's lips too part, however I know he is only mirroring my actions subconsciously due to his intense concentration on reading my current expression. This knowledge makes me more aware of how desperately I need to answer his proposal but as my tongue tries to push a sound out, my mouth dries up and all possible sounds are swallowed before they can escape.  I close my eyes and inhale sharply, trying to free the lock that has chained its self to my voice box.

As I look at Tyler again, I notice the excitement that had danced in his eyes has started to fade, instead it is now being over shone by apprehension. My eyes flee to the floor, unable to handle the unease I am causing my perfect man and subconsciously I begin to chew on my lip.

"Troye" Tyler says.  His is voice shaky and my heart sinks as I realise he has been forced to break the now uncomfortable silence purely because I am too weak to do so myself.  My throat feels constricted and despite my mouth being unnaturally dry, I try to swallow in the hope of relaxing my throat. I push air out of my closed lips, making a breathy sound and slowly I let my eyes find Tyler's. He is beginning to look broken with his eyes sparkling not due to excitement but due to the glassiness of the tears threatening to fall. I know I need to fix him and prevent him from feeling any more fear but I have no idea how to do it, I have no idea how to please him and myself.