Kissing Men (BoyxBoy | Mature)

Chapter Forty-Seven

The drive home was quieter than the rest of the meal. Home? Jay's house. We were driving back to Jay's house, not home. 

"Jay?" I asked, looking up at him. 

His grip tightened on mine in my lap. I stroked my thumb across his hand as I watched him take a deep breath. 

"Yeah?" he said, though the word was barely more than a breath, let alone a whisper. 

"Were you serious about that? Thinking about suicide?"

"I was."

"Do I need to constantly keep an eye on you? Do I need to be worried?" I asked, looking up at him. 

"Why do you really care, Kaidan?" he asked. He didn't make it sound cruel, he was just asking. 

"I... You've... become important to me very quickly," I murmured, keeping my eyes on our hands. 

"You have too... It confuses me, I don't know what to do about it."

I nodded a little to myself and stayed quiet. I had no idea what to say. This felt like such an intimate, but simultaneously awkward, situation that I didn't know how to deal with. 

"Will you teach me to dance when we get back?" I asked, with no other clue what to say. He'd asked if I wanted to join in him a private party tomorrow, right? Why not let him teach me to pole dance?

"What type of dancing?" he replied with an almost automatic tone. 

"Pole dancing, I guess. But... I'd like to learn how to lap dance, for you," I admitted with a blush. 

When I peeked up at him, a small smile was tugging at his lips. 

"Alright then. You can wear one of your new thongs and basque while you do it. That would be hot," he said, throwing a trademark Jay grin over at me. 

I blushed and our conversation quickly fell back into either our comfortable silence or just talking about nothing in particular. By the time we got back to the house and we were walking in, my heart was racing just thinking about lap dancing for Jay. I wanted to do it, so badly, but it was kind of scary. Especially when I didn't know if I could do it or not...

Jay's hold on my hand was comforting at least, and he smiled at me over his shoulder as he led me to a door I hadn't been through yet. 

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously. 

"To the basement. There's a practice pole down there." When I raised an eyebrow at him, he just shrugged.. 

He opened the door and led me down the stairs. The walls were painted a beautiful deep teal and the lighting pointed to the middle of the room where the pole he'd been talking about was on a low platform. There were a few couches around it, which were white and beautifully contrasted the blue walls. 

"How do you want me?" I asked when we came to a stop. 

"Naked and ready," he said teasingly, though with a serious enough tone in his voice that I wasn't sure if he was really joking or not. "I'm kidding, kitten. Boxers would probably be better."

I nodded and my hands moved to the button of the dress pants I had on before I remembered something and froze. 

"Uh, Jay...?" I murmured. 

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly from where he was sitting on the arm of one of the sofas. 

"I've not got boxers on. I've got a thong," I reminded him quietly, my cheeks flaming. 

He grinned widely. "Even better."

My whole face flushed, the tips of my ears undoubtedly turning pink too, and I nodded. My fingers continued as they undid the belt buckle and zip, pushing them down. I fiddled with the hem of the shirt self-consciously. His eyes went wide as he stared at me.