Kissing Men (BoyxBoy | Mature)

Chapter Thirty-Four

(A/N This chapter is dedicated to Shawal23 for pointing out that Kaidan has claws! ;D ~Beka)

"They really are dicks. Ollie seems nice though," I said, trying to make him smile again. 

"He's lovely. Peacekeeper of the group," Jay replied quietly, playing in my hair.

"Seriously, what is Corey's problem?" I asked. 

He sighed a little and pulled away. I panicked internally but calmed down a little when he took my hand again and led me into the bathroom. 

"He's been in love with me for years, apparently," he murmured as he fiddled with the bottle in the walk in shower. He slowly came to a stop. "I don't do love, Kaidan... Not for a very long time..."

"Why not?" I asked and instantly regretted it. 

He tensed, even more than he had downstairs. I shrunk slightly into myself where I stood, wanting to just take it back but knowing it was too late now. 

"I... It makes me panic. To think that someone loves me. I shouldn't be loved. I'm not worthy of it," he whispered. 

My heart shattered at his words. 

"Jay... Everyone deserves love, no matter--"

"No," he suddenly interrupted. "Not everyone. Not me."

"But why? I don't understand."

He shook his head and slowly turned to face me. He looked as if he were about to start crying, breaking my heart even further. 

"Jay..." I trailed off, taking a step towards him. He stepped back.

"No, Kaidan, don't... Please. Don't pity me," he said, taking a deep shaky breath. 

I ignored him and stayed quiet as I started to strip. I ignored as his eyes trailed over me. What surprised me was that I didn't feel self-conscious, I felt sexy... When I was naked, I walked towards him slowly. This time he didn't step back. 

I slipped my fingers into the sweatpants he had on and used my grip on them to pull him, as reluctant as he was, towards me. 

I kissed my jaw gently, and then moved down to his neck, licking gently at it. 

"Kaidan," he whispered. 

"Shut up," I said forcefully and he did as he was told. 

I slowly and softly kissed down his chest until I was on my knees in front of him. The cold hard tiles pressed into my knees but I didn't complain. I just wanted to cheer him up. I kissed his hip bone and then slowly down his leg until his trousers were on the floor. I stood then. 

"Step out of them," I ordered. Again, he did as I said without question. 

His eyes were curious and a little worried as he looked at me silently. I put my hands flat on his chest and pushed him into the walk-in shower. It was spacious; there was more than enough room for the two of us. 

I turned it on and shivered as the first spray was absolutely freezing. He didn't seem to react at all, just watching me quietly. The water turned very warm within a matter of seconds. 

Jay's eyelashes started to stick together as water droplets clung to them. I moved closer to him and the only movement he made was his eyes following me. I leant up on my tiptoes to kiss him softly. He hesitated before kissing me back. 

Slowly he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. I put my arms around his neck and pulled away a little to smile at him. His lips flicked up into a little smile of their own. 

I gasped in surprise as my feet suddenly left the floor and my back was pressed against the wall. Jay's hands were securely holding onto the underside of my thighs and lifting me up so my face was level with his. 

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer, using my heels to press his hips against me. I moaned a little as his semi pressed against my backside. My eyes fluttered shut and my head fell back against the tiled wall. 

"God, Kaidan..." he trailed off, resting his head on my shoulder. I held him against me and stroked the back of his head. "You're crazy..."

I grinned a little, curious. "Why?" I asked. 

He smiled slightly and kissed the crook of my neck. 

"You cheered me up, kitten... No one can ever do that..."

That made me happy... Really happy...

"I have self esteem problems apparently. And people wonder why..." He scoffed a little and sighed, pressing closer against me. 

I stroked his back slowly, considering my next words very carefully. 

"Why?" I asked quietly. 

He sighed again. "I guess it's okay for you to know..." He took a deep breath and looked at me. "My dad, he..."

(A/N Cliffhangeeeer! Question, would you guys prefer longer but less regular chapters or this length and more regular? I prefer this length because it means I get more regular feedback from you guys! :) but let me know what you would prefer ~Beka)