#97 Dean - I Deserve To Be Loved

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Request for @Ice_Queenie. I hope this is what you asked for!

Y/N p.o.v:

"Why are you such a bitch all the time, Y/N?" Dean groaned as you were annoying him and Sam. You'd be mean to them, but you had a reason. It was so you didn't get hurt. What Dean said, you being a bitch, was a little hurtful. So trying to not get hurt was hard. You liked Dean. You liked Dean a lot, but of course he'd never find out.
"Because I can be." You snapped. Dean rolled his eyes and gave you the finger.
"You would, but if you give me that finger one more time, I'll fucking break it." You growled. Dean rolled his eyes, but stepped down. You were trying to figure out what you were hunting. You went to check out the places where the people got killed by yourself.
"Ugh. Brutal." You said to yourself. You looked around for any clues, but then everything went black.

~few hours later~

You woke up with your hands chained to the wall. You tried to free them, but failed. You grunted because your head was spinning.
"Aha. The famous Y/N L/N. The girl who hangs with the Winchesters." A man said. You looked up at him and glared.
"What do you want?" You asked. The man smiled and picked up a knife.
"To hurt you. Maybe kill you. You killed my wife and son. You have no idea what it feels like-" You laughed. You remembered him.
"You mean those monsters. You're vamps. You kill humans. Animals may be different and I would have given you mercy for that, but not humans." You said. The man growled and started to cut you. You grunted, but never gave him the satisfaction of your screams.
"I've been following you for a while, but was never able to get your attention. So I had to make an appearance myself. I know how you are with the boys. I know how you feel about Dean." The vampire said. You glared, but didn't speak. He laughed and held the knife to your cheek.
"He won't love a piece of shit like you. You are worthless. You don't deserve love. You are incapable of being loved. After I'm done with you, I'll kill Sam. And then lastly, I'll kill Dean. Slowly, painfully." The vamp said. Your eyes went dark and you tried to lunge at him. He laughed at your failed attempt.
"Don't you touch them!" You screamed. The man just turned his back and grabbed a piece of iron off of a fire. The end was glowing red and you tried to move away. Cuts are easy to handle. Burning was kinda a different thing to you. He smiled and placed the hot rod to your collarbone. You couldn't hold back the screams of pain. He placed the iron to different places of your body and then continued to cut you.
"You don't deserve-" You interrupted him by screaming out as he burned you again.
"I deserve to be loved! I know I do! You fucking piece of shit, I do!" You yelled to the vampire. You saw Sam and Dean run in. The vampire noticed them, but then lit a match and threw it underneath you. There was a puddle of blood and something else, but you didn't know until it burned you. He must have put oil there. You screamed as the fire licked your skin, making it sizzle. Suddenly, water was drenched over you. You couldn't move. It was too painful.
"Y/N, hey. Look at me, Y/N. Please! Sam, pray to Cas!" Dean yelled. You looked up at Dean, but cried out in pain. He shushed you and then got you out of the chains.
"Hey, hey. I'm here. I need you to let me pick you up. We need to get you to the hospital." Dean whispered. You couldn't speak. You didn't want to. You were sure he heard you when you said you deserved to be loved.
"Y/N, talk to me." Dean pleaded. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. He picked you up and you cried out again.
"I'm sorry. Just wait a little. Please stay with me." Dean begged. Soon enough, you ended up at the hospital and was rushed to surgery.

~after your surgery~

You were covered in bandages and it kinda hurt to talk because, well, the movement and your burns. You had 3 degree burns all around your face, chest and back, your arms, and your legs. Luckily, you'd make a full recovery. However, you'd be left with some scars. Cas said he could heal you, but you stubbornly refused to let him. Dean tried to convince you, so did Sam, but you didn't listen. You've been in the hospital for a few weeks and are so ready to go home. You weren't in as much pain as the first week, but did not feel ready enough to even consider standing. You felt a slight touch to your hand. You ever so slowly moved your head to the direction of whoever touched you. It was Dean. He had a soft smile on his face along with sadness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. We sh-" You interrupted him. This was the millionth time he's apologized.
"Dean, stop. Okay? It's alright." You whispered. He took a deep breath before speaking again.
"We need to talk about what you said to that vamp. I've never ever seen you or heard you look so broken, Y/N. I've never seen that side of you. Why did you let him say that to you? What is it that he said that got you to say something like that?" Dean asked quietly. You wanted to look away, but the look in his eyes showed that he was really concerned. You supposed you should just tell him now.
"Because he threatened to hurt you and Sam, to kill you. I love you, Dean. I love both of you with everything. He said I didn't deserve to be loved. That I was incapable of being loved. I know that isn't true. I do deserve to be loved." You couldn't admit it. It sounded like, to you anyway, you thought of him as just a brother or best friend. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him what else the vampire said to you. He nodded before responding.
"Are you sure that's it? I feel like your leaving out something." Dean said. You hesitantly nodded. Dean's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Y/N." He said. That tone tells you he knows you're hiding something. You smiled, which kinda hurt, and looked him in the eye.
"What?" You asked. Dean rolled his eyes at your "innocent and sweet" facade.
"There's something you're keeping from me." He accused. You dropped the smile, looked away, and sighed.
"He knew how I felt about you, Dean. I love you. More than a best friend. More than a brother. I love you as in 'I wanna be with you.'" You said almost inaudibly.
"I'd rather die than let anything happen to you and Sam." You continued. Dean took a sharp breath before exhaling slowly.
"Y/N.." Dean said softly. You laughed airily as tears fell down your face, soaking into the bandages. It stung a little, the cuts that were almost healed. They were pretty deep.
"How stupid of me, right? Thinking I was good enough for you. Thinking I actually did deserve to be loved. I was always mean because I was scared. I have been hurt too many times before and I was afraid of getting hurt again. Especially because of your background. Stupid, I know. I should have left before I got too attached." You said. Your eyes drip with tears. Your walls, the walls that hold you up, that make you strong just collapsed. Moment by moment, they fall. Salty drops soak into your bandages and then down to your chin, drenching your other bandages. You press you head against the hospital pillow. White. How...innocent. You are anything, but innocent. You've killed too many monsters and people to be considered innocent. You're trembling just a little and you know Dean can see it.
"Y/N, look at me." Dean says softly. You can't stop. Even as you press your hand against your face, your bandages. The ones covering your burns. Maybe you'd never stop burning. You'll be left with inside and outside scars. You can't stop. You just can't stop. Why can you not stop crying? It's simple. But something inside you tells you that you've been strong for far too long.
"Y/N, please." Dean begs. You finally moved your head to look at him. His heart breaks at the sight of you. The pain in your eyes was clear.
"I love you too." He whispers. You shake your head.
"No. Don't say that. Don't tell me shit that isn't true. Please. Spare me the heartbreak." You softly cried. Your voice breaks towards the end.
"I'm not lying, Y/N. I promise. I can't lie to you. You mean too much to me. I won't treat you like that." Dean said. You pull Dean to you and wrap your arms around him. It hurts like hell, but that doesn't matter. You cry into his neck as he rubs your back gently.
"I'm always here for you. I love you. I always have." Dean says. You nod and sniff. This was a huge relief to you. Maybe those would be your happy ending. Guess you did deserve to be loved.

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