#74 Preference - She's Broken

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Y/N p.o.v:

/Another story of girl meets boy, and gets destroyed. Uh oh. Another promise broken in two, the lucky view of fiction/

Dean was just like all those other guys. You should have known he wasn't what he said he was. You should have known the lies that were pouring out of his mouth. Although, somehow he managed to break your steel covered heart. You were broken and nothing would ever fix you. He broke the promises he vowed to keep, but that's normal, isn't it? You were used to this kind of pain. It's funny how all of it seems like it came out of a fiction book.

/Fade away, fade away.
Teach me how to fade away. Another story of girl meets boy/

You just wanted to disappear; to fade away. You were tired of it all. You were tired of the lies. The broken promises. The hurt. The pain. The suffering. You didn't know how much more you could take, but this how it goes. Just another story of girl meets boy.

/He's okay, she's broken.
He's the ocean waves, she's chokin'. Fade away, fade away. Teach me how to fade away. Another story of girl meets boy/

You knew Dean was okay. He was doing fine. Still hunting. Still having one night stands. But you? You were broken. You were left at the bunker, in your room. Never coming out. Not to eat or drink. Not since Dean decided to go ahead and break your heart. Dean was the ocean waves while you were choking; drowning in them. Drowning in the ocean. Sinking deeper and deeper until you will hit the bottom, but this is how it goes. Just another story of girl meets boy.

/So picture perfect, it can't be real and all you feel is numb. You see them talking, but hear no sound to hit the ground and fade/

You put on the act of happiness. The mask of smiles and laughter. Just so no one would see how you were breaking into billions of little tiny pieces. But really? All you feel is numb. When you do go out, it's to the bar. Dean is usually there, but he never notices you. You can always see him talking to those makeup, bitch looking whores, but you don't hear what they talk about. You couldn't hear anything. You were too focused on the sound of silence. The ringing you always heard in your ears just so you wouldn't be able to heard what anyone is talking about. But when you do listen to what others say, their voice always fades away. Just like you want it to.

/He's okay, she's broken
He's the ocean waves, she's chokin'/

You wanted to be done with everything. Sam and Dean were on a hunt. You pulled out 2 pieces of paper and started to write.

Dear Sam,

You were the best friend I could ever have. You were like the big brother I always wanted. I'm sorry it had to end like this. It wasn't your fault. I promise. Watch out for Dean. Don't let anything bad happen to him and don't let him do stupid shit. I love you, goodbye.

___________________________

Dear Dean,

I loved you and will continue to love you even in death. I have accepted that you never cared. That I was just another toy. As this may be your fault, do not have guilt. This was my choice. I didn't belong here. Not in a fucked up world like this. When you ended it, I wanted to say don't leave me, but I was tired of begging people to love me. I then understood that I was unlovable and that that wouldn't change. I hope you realize what you did and learn from it. I beg of you not to bring me back. You or Sam. I'll finally be happy. Goodbye, I love you.

/

Don't want it, don't need it. Don't want it. Don't want it, don't need it. Don't want it. Don't want it, don't need it. Don't want it. Don't need it, don't, don't need it. Don't need it, don't, don't need it. Don't need it, don't, don't need it/

You folded the pieces of paper and went to your dresser to get your gun. You walked to your bathroom and closed the door. You'd finally be free. You'd be free from this never ending suffering. You smiled and put the gun to your head. You closed your eyes and felt a tear run down your face.
"Goodbye." You whispered and pulled the trigger. Then, you were swallowed into a black abyss.

Dean p.o.v:

Sam and I finally arrived home after a long 3 days of trying to gank ghoul. I grabbed my stuff from the trunk of the impala and then walked into the bunker.
"We're back!" I yelled. No one responded. I got a little worried. Y/N would usually call back saying okay or alright. I dropped my stuff on the bunker table and hurriedly walked to Y/N's room. I saw the bathroom door was closed. I ran to it and threw it open. I stood there with wide eyes.
"Oh, my god." I whispered. I fell to the ground. I couldn't believe my eyes. Y/N was dead with a bullet wound to her head. I saw 2 pieces of paper in her hand. I saw one with my name on it and one with Sam's. I grabbed the one with my name and opened it. As I was reading it, I heard Sam.
"Dean? Where- oh, my- What happened!?" He asked. I finished reading the note and looked up at my brother with teats streaming down my face.
"She killed herself, Sammy. She killed herself because of me." I said in a broken whisper. Sam pushed me to the side and ran to her.
"We'll bring her back. She can't be gone." He chanted.
"Sam, she doesn't want to be brought back. Respect her wishes. Don't take away her happiness for the sake of our own." I said softly. Sam cried out. Y/N was like his little sister. He treated her like she should have been treated and then there was me. I treated her like shit. She did this because of me. It was my fault and now- now I have to live with it for as long as I live.

A/N:

I hope this was okay..

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