Picture This (Niall Horan Trilogy)

-Intaking Realization [Chapter 73]

Ashley's POV:

The next morning I woke up feeling as shitty, if not shitter than I had ever since my Mother dropped the bomb on me yesterday morning. We had not exchanged a single word since our argument yesterday; neither had I spared her a glance. She had slipped her gaze to me out of the corner of her eye as I passed through the house on the few occasions I did so to get food last night. Yeah, to get food. I’m trying not to make Niall worry too much. It was obvious to her that I had/was crying but I suppose that didn’t matter to her. As long as she got her way who she hurt along the way was irrelevant. Sometimes, I used to wish I had that kind of attitude. It seems to be getting her pretty successful at the moment but really I know I would never be content if I was a person like that, maybe, sometimes I’m too nice. I forgive people who don’t deserve it and I pity those who don’t deserve anyone’s pity. But it’s better to be too nice than horrible isn’t it? Maybe. Or not. You don’t let anyone in, you don’t get hurt. But I never can reject someone’s kindness, purely flattered that they took more of an interest to me than my own mother ever did.

Maybe if I had rejected kindness leaving would be easy right now. I mean, think about it. That night, when I met Niall, I didn’t have to let him put his arm around me and stick by my side instead of going into the water. I didn’t have to sit there with him and spill my guts out to him about my auntie; I didn’t even have to speak to him if I didn’t want to. But the point is, I did and if I hadn’t then we probably wouldn’t be together now. I mean, they had no reason to stay and most of all keep coming back. If I had made it clear I didn’t want to befriend Niall then we’d never end up in a relationship. But really, I’m so glad I do all of these things. Be friended Niall and let it turn into this perfect relationship and let myself fall hopelessly in love with him, the same the other way around. If I hadn’t then when I moved to New York, I guess I would have nothing worth crying over losing. But I do, and he’s worth so much more than my tears.

Rolling over I picked up my phone and squinted as the bright screen hurt my eyes a bit since I had just woken. 4 missed calls from Niall and 3 new messages.

 3:04 AM;  Zayn’s mad because you didn’t remind him to pick up his hair products hahaha xxx

3:55 AM; I hope you’re sleeping and not ignoring me otherwise I would be truly heartbroken </3

4:45 AM; The hotel has a pretty nice bed. Too bad you’re not here….Miss you xxx

Rolling my eyes at well, all of them I bit my lower lip but still smiling as I typed my replies.

Feeling un-motivated I wrapped my dressing gown around me and made my way downstairs, I was passing the spare room when my father’s voice called me back. Shit upon bricks.

“Ashley, did you want to talk about New York?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Mum’s made it clear what the expectations are and I’ll try my best not to disappoint you again, yeah? I’ll try and stop being so immature and pathetic.”

I snapped walking straight off. I entered the kitchen walking straight past my mother who was sat at the table reading the Newspaper and sipping tea. Don’t they have somewhere to be? Opening the fridge I could feel her gaze settling on me for a few seconds before looking away. Rolling my eyes I poured myself some orange juice and took a granola bar from the cupboard and flopped down onto the sofa in front of the TV.

Gossip channel discussing me and Niall. No thank you. Eastenders? Not first thing in the morning. Okay, top 40. Can’t go wrong with the top 40.

I’ve tried playing it cool but when I’m looking at you-oo.