Chapter 12 -
Alice's POV
Vampires didn't feel fear . Not in the human sense. Then I met Bella Swan.
My vision of her at the hospital, standing near Carlisle with blood on his hands – her blood on his hands…the alarm and apprehension that had shot through my body for that split second had left me agonised. I needed reassurance that she was going to be okay.
I guess I have always been a little wild, and a little carefree – or flamboyant, as Emmet liked to call it. So, rushing headlong into the hospital room hadn't really surprised Carlisle, but it had stunned Bella, especially when I gave her a bear hug even Emmet couldn't have competed with. The truth was, I didn't care if I had stunned her, or even her father – I was just glad, so very glad that she was okay.
I expected her to flinch when I embraced her; instead she had moved against me and sighed, so very softly. The heat she was generating seemed to absorb into my cold flesh. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to leave her side; I was her custodian, or personal protector.
She smiled when I asked how she was; reassuring me she was going to be fine. Since when did I need reassuring of anything? I was carefree Alice, right? And then she had mentioned her previous injuries, if it had been possible it would have sent a shiver along my spine. I didn't like the thought of her being in pain, any kind of pain.
Carlisle had taken me to one side, told me it was just a small cut that Bella would be okay. I told him then about my vision; he had guessed as much. He knew about my ability to perceive things with my mind, he called it my gift. I told him I would take her home, but I was worried about the cut. I didn't know how Carlisle managed; he had so much self discipline around the blood of humans. Oh, I could contend – but Bella's blood? That was a whole new story. Of course, my worry was pitted against my overwhelming desire to simply 'be' with Bella. Carlisle had squeezed my shoulder, "You have the restraint Alice" he had whispered, "She needs you".
And then I had taken her home. For the first time, I was truly alone with her. She seemed to relax once we had pulled out of the hospital car park. I had intended to stick to the speed limit, but I suppose I was never going to be a law abiding citizen when it came to driving. One quick glance in her direction, I'd realised she wasn't concerned about the speed – instead, she was smiling. Bella's smile was a wonderful thing, each time her lips parted slightly I felt intoxicated. I realised I needed to know what thoughts had resulted in that smile. So she told me, adding that I would win any competition if I were against Mike or Jessica in the friend's stake…
Vampires don't physically 'glow' when they are complimented – but on that evening, this vampire did.
And the Rosalie had ruined the glow – she even had the ability to mess things up, even if she wasn't there physically. Bella was saddened that Rosalie didn't like her, I could tell by the look on her face and by the sound of her voice. So I pulled the car over – I had to make her see that Rosalie was just misunderstood… and I placed my hand on hers… such a simple gesture…
She had returned the favour, her bandaged hand on top of mine… and I could feel it, the blood pumping around her cut, the temptation was too much for me to bear and without really thinking I'd placed my hand on top of hers, I needed to be closer.
She was so warm in my hand – I'd had minimal physical contact with humans before, but this was different. I felt flushed, and heated, the atmosphere felt balmy as I roasted under her delicate touch. I wanted her, not just her blood, but her – all of her . I wanted to make her mine …
It was probably a blessing that she had exclaimed how cold I was.
Cold.
I was, and would always be, cold. Yet she made me feel so warm.
I suppose it was an obvious conclusion for her to draw – that I had some kind of cold. I knew I had to get her home then, so I could return and hunt with Esme. My thirst had been under control, and then I had touched her…
Vampires didn't make mistakes.
Well, I knew I was making them. Acting oddly around her was one. I may have only met her, but I felt I knew her – and Bella was inquisitive and perceptive. I shouldn't have let her out of the car so soon after getting out myself, but it was so easy to relax and be me around her. And I shouldn't have kissed her hand, either. But I was buoyant, happy-go- lucky Alice, right? It's what I would have done for anyone….
Yeah, right Alice.
So I'd gone home. And I had hunted, alone. And I had found myself standing at the foot of Bella's bed, again. I told myself I needed to make sure she was okay. The truth was, I needed to fuel the desire to see her again. And I was captivated by her face when she was sleeping.
Vampires didn't hope.
Well, this one had started to hope that Bella's dreams were full of my images. When she called out my name, I had walked to her side, and leaned over her, as if in a trance. And I had surrendered to my need.
I had kissed her.
I'd relinquished all control, and I had kissed her. And she had kissed me back. Lips on lips, how I wanted so much more… then she had stirred, and I had fled, like a coward.
Vampires weren't cowards , but I had felt like one that night.
Vampires didn't sleep , but that night all I wanted was to close my eyes and dream of Bella.
I hadn't given much thought as to how she would get to school the next day. Jasper hadn't hunted, and I wanted to talk to him about her, so we'd left the house together to feed. Emmet had offered to pick her up, but I could still see the look of distaste on Rosalie's face, so Edward had stepped in. He was still very much intrigued by her – and I admit, part of me desperately wanted to see if there was any way he could read her mind.
I didn't expect her to get a lift with anyone else. Certainly not Jacob Black.
She was clearly tense when Edward mentioned his name to me. I didn't need Jasper around to tell me that. So I lied, or rather, told a white lie.
I knew what Jacob was, we all did. I didn't have a great deal of contact with him, or his kind, but I knew what he was capable of, and I didn't like the idea of Bella being near him.
I didn't dislike him… what I did dislike was him spending any time with her; I disliked him for wanting to spend time with her… I disliked him because, when he was around and close to Bella, I couldn't see her. I disliked him because he knew what I was, and I feared he would take her away from me.
Vampires didn't feel jealous . Well, this vampire did.
But then she asked me to meet her for lunch, and smiled at me again, and I was putty in her hands.
So, there I was, waiting out for her. She wasn't hard to spot, she was the only person carrying far too many books, and with a bandaged hand as well…
Her friend Angela had joined us. At first I was a little disappointed, I wanted to talk to Bella alone, but her friend soon made a favourable impression on me. She was, well – nice. If only Rosalie could take a leaf out of her book.
Vampires really don't make mistakes – ever…
Well – I did, again. I should have just asked for a juice, to save the questions, but I didn't. I was too involved in simply watching Bella as she got her sandwiches from her bag. And then her friend had returned with Bella's drink, and she'd placed the carton to her lips and taken a sip, licking a drip of orange that had escaped to the side of her lips… and she asked me innocently if I wanted a taste…
Oh, if only she knew how much I did want a taste – of her ….
I knew Edward was somewhere nearby, I could sense him. And I knew he was reading my mind, but I didn't care. When Bella had mentioned the Quileute Tribe to me, those two words had echoed around my brain – and then the vision had come…
Bella, walking towards a truck, but not her own – and getting inside. Then everything had gone misty, but I could hear a voice, his voice… Jacob Black's voice… and then Bella, pushed to the ground, and then looking up at someone… and then more mist.
I couldn't see properly what was going to happen, but I knew she was with him. And I knew she was in trouble.
She needed me.
