Just Live For Me

Sometimes We All Need A Good Old Reality Check

October 1, 2012

Dear Diary,

I don’t know how much longer I can last without Jake in school. I love talking to my friends, but it just seems like something is missing without him there for me to sit with. They’re also really carful not to mention Jake or where he was though and that got kind of annoying. So today I told Casey and Rachel the only thing that would make them completely forget about all the bad rumors… I told them how I slept over at his house. I told them every little detail (other than the bandages and his mom). I told them about how I cooked a terrible dinner. How he didn’t even make a bad face when he took a bite. How he looked so cute when he sang along to the stupidest songs in the world. How we watched one of my newfound favorite movies. Last of all… I told them how we shared a bed. I now know if I ever need my friends to forget everything all I need to do is tell them I shared a bed with my boyfriend. It was literally like watching two ADD infested squirrels squeak and run in circles for what seemed like hours. They still don’t believe me when I say we didn’t have sex, and they are still texting me about it.

October 3, 2012

Dear Diary,

         Casey and Rachel want to go on a triple date thing with Jake and me this Friday after school. They seemed kinda uncomfortable when they asked me though. It was like they were nervous to ask, because of all the shit rumors about Jake. Jake really wants to do it though. He says he likes hanging out with people who treat him like a friend and not a freak. But now that I think about it, I’m not sure it will be the same as it used to be. I mean they acted so different when they were jus asking ME what will they act like when Jake is there? What will he act like? How will he explain his arms? I’m worried that this will all blow up in my face. Maybe I can pretend I’m sick? No. I can’t. I have to do this. If I ever want Jake and me to be back to normal, this is the first step.

October 4, 2012

Dear Diary,

         Today at lunch Lily snagged my phone out my hand and started looking through my texts. Normally I wouldn’t care (well, I’d be pissed but it’s not like I’d have anything to hide), but Jake was freaking out. Kevin texted him about 20 texts last night about how Jake should’ve died (that asshole!) and Jake was locked in his room… I was talking him out of cutting himself… It was one of the most difficult things I’d ever had to do. I was like a hostage negotiator talking a man out of murdering his hostages before blowing out his own brain. Believe me that is not a time you want the asshole’s GF stealing your phone. So there I was with Lily standing on that table laughing and mocking me. Ok I probably looked insane, but it was serious. Then I could see her reading through my texts… after about three seconds her expression turned to pure horror. She stepped down from the table and gave me my phone. She didn’t look at me or say anything… she just… gave me my phone and walked away. I don’t know why because I was half expecting her to read aloud the texts and laugh in my face. But she didn’t. She actually looked like she was going to throw up. Maybe… just maybe… she’s back to the way she used to be. I guess sometimes all a jerk really needs is a good old reality check.