Just Live For Me

Forced Smiles

August 10, 2012

Dear Diary,

         TGIF! One week of school has felt like a year already! At least I get to see Jake tonight J we’re going to see some movie. I’m sooooooo excited! I haven’t seen him since Wednesday!

August 11, 2012

Dearest Diary,

         I love Jake so much. Last night I think we saw the crappiest movie on Earth and I still had an amazing time. We sat in back and made comments about the movie the whole time!(pretty sure this group of ppl in from of us gave us the finger LOL) Okay… maybe not the whole time. About half way through we started to make out (I think a kid in the row behind us said EEEEWWWWW) needless to say, I started cracking up.

August 13, 2012

Dear Diary,

         Jake was back in school. He sat next to me and smiled like he always does, when he’s with me. I still haven’t told Rachel or Casey about the car crash…I’m almost 99% sure that Lily already knew. She’s always had a thing for Kevin; of course she’s going to take his side. But Kevin left Jake alone today, so Jake acted happy and sweet. I could never be that strong with that weight on my shoulders.

August 15, 2012

Dear Diary,

         That fucking jackass! Today at lunch Kevin started a discussion about his sister Lizzi (she’s a year younger than us). Then he started asking everyone in class about there siblings. Guess who he started with? JAKE. I swear I almost punched him in his stupid face, but Jake grabbed my hand and just calmly said that he had no siblings. I took him out of the room before the jackass could ask any more questions.

If there is a god, he will smite that bastard…

August 18, 2012

Dear Diary,

         I must have read those articles about Helen 100 times. The story never gets any less heartbreaking… They all say that a sixteen-year-old boy named Jake Masson crashed a car with his thirteen-year-old sister Helen Masson in the passenger seat. His license was revoked for six months (It didn’t change much since he broke his arm and got a concussion). It also says the mother refused therapy. Apparently, she was having money problems and thought it would be a waste. New cloths, and hair products are wastes, but therapy for your son who just watched his sister die next to him in a wrecked car is a necessity!

         I also found out that the anniversary of the accident is in a month… If I’m not careful there may not be a boy for me to marry by then…

August 19, 2012

Dear Diary,

         Went to Jakes today J He formally introduced me to his mom (Her name is Jill). She said that I could come over whenever I wanted to see Jake, which was pretty nice (Other than the fact that she turned me away last time). Anyway, we hung out in his room all day just talking about random shit and funny things that happened. We found an anonymous chat website and we were pretending to be from different countries. My fave was when we said we were Canadian and this guy sent us the whole lyrics to the C-A-N-A-D-A song by Raffi (Who knew there was such a thing) . Gotta love random people on the Internet!

         He showed me a picture of Helen… she was really pretty J She was short with shoulder length, dark brown hair. She had Jakes Gray-blue eyes, but hers were bluer I think. Then he told me about her. I think I would have liked her. She seemed kind of like me, but with a wonderful mix of Jake’s personality too. It seemed to make him happy to talk about her. I think it was the first time in a long time that he could talk about her without having to talk about the accident. He said I was the only person he’d been able to talk to about her without crying since she died. He said he wished I were at her funeral so that I could help him through it.

         I feel so bad that he had to go through it alone…I will never let him go through anything like that ever again.