Just Live For Me

The Man Who Changed My Life

November 28, 2012

Dear Diary,

         I don’t know why, but when I woke up today I was something I haven’t been in a while… happy. I know how weird it sounds. I mean everything I loved was being ripped away from me, but I dunno… I just couldn’t feel sad anymore. I think I’ve run out of tears. Plus it’s pretty hard to feel depressed when you wake up to a text from your bf saying how much he loves you J After today I only have two mare days with Jake… actually only like 1 ¼ really, he’s leaving at noon on Friday. I guess I just don’t want my last few days to be filled with sadness. Somehow Jake convinced his mom to let me help him pack. I’m not in the least bit excited to see her, but at this point I’ll so anything to see Jake. I should probably be grateful that our parents let us be together so much in the first place, but she gets on my nerves. I mean she’s ripping the love of my life away from me! Oh well live and let live right? I need my happy mood back before I go to Jakes. I will NOT let today be ruined because of a grudge!

November 29, 2012

Dear Diary,

         One more day… one more day until I lose Jake… I will never see him again… I don’t know what to do… Should I cry? No, I’ve done that enough. Should I beg him not to leave? No… I just can’t wrap my brain around the simple fact… in one day… Jake will be gone from my life forever, and it scares the hell out of me.

December 1, 2012

Dear Diary,

         Yesterday passed by in slow motion, yet the whole day went by too fast. Thursday night I slept over at Jake’s house. The whole night we never once mentioned him leaving, but there was still sadness in the air. We talked about everything there was to talk about, since well… we were never going to have the chance to talk about it again. It was weird being in Jake’s room. It was just so… empty… Almost all of his stuff had been given away (It all reminded him of his past), and what little he was keeping, was boxed up and ready to be moved to his new house. One of the only things he was keeping was the little iPod that I’d given him on his B-day. There were over 500 songs on the little device, yet he still told me that Savior was his favorite song. Not because it reminded him of Helen (That fact alone nearly made him delete it from his iPod), but because I’d sang it to him… because it reminded him of me. When he told me that I couldn’t hold back my emotions. I leapt into his arms wouldn’t let go. Luckily enough throughout the whole night neither of us cried. We promised each other we wouldn’t.

         We watched Across The Universe again. There’s a part in the movie where a girl’s bf goes to war and she’s singing about how she’s going to see him soon, only to find out that he died fighting… I couldn’t help but connect with her… I had to close my eyes occasionally to keep from crying. Whenever that happened, Jake would kiss my head and hold me tighter. He’s… well was… too good for me.

         At maybe 5 a.m. we passed out. No mater how much we wanted to, we couldn’t stay up forever… Friday had to come eventually. We woke up at maybe 9 a.m. and we were really tired, but neither of us wanted to waste time asleep. I cooked him breakfast (yes, I cooked not even I can mess up eggs) and then I helped him pack up what was left of his stuff. It was amazing how little he cared about all of the stuff he was throwing away. Even when a necklace that Helen had made him went in the trash, his expression remained the same. Again I felt helpless and unknowing what to do. I was screaming at myself in my head to do something, but I just didn’t know what I could do other than help him pack away his life into small cardboard boxes.

         His mom gave me a weird stare when she saw us kissing. But I didn’t give a shit if she wanted me with him or not. If anything it made me want to kiss him more. We stood in his doorway with his arms around my waist and mine around his neck saying our final goodbyes for what seemed like hours. No mater how long we talked, I know I could have said more. I could have told him I’d at least try to keep a long distance relationship… but we both knew that wouldn’t work… When his life was all packed into the moving van we knew that there were only minutes before Jake would be gone. At that time I broke our promise… I cried… a lot. Even with my red face covered in tears and my body trembling, trying to keep calm (and failing miserably) Jake’s wonderful gaze managed to break through my blurred vision. His perfect face with its perfect soft, black hair, its loving blue-gray eyes, it’s perfect lips with their wonderfully placed lip ring, its perfect bone structure… there had never been a more handsome face to ever look me in the eyes. Like he’d done too many times before, he bend down and wiped the tears from my face. He then planted his last, soft kiss on my lips. It, like Jake, was perfect. Soft, sweet, loving… I’m really going to miss him…

He brushed my hair from my face, and when he did I grabbed his arms and traced his scars with my fingers. We’d been through so much, and it made me glad to know that I’d helped him. Even though it brought me to tears nearly every day, I wouldn’t change a single thing I did… I don’t regret anything I did (except maybe Halloween). Somehow I managed to get out the words ‘good-bye… I love you’ before he enveloped me in our final hug. Did I mention that I’m going to miss him? He whispered the words ‘ goodbye my love’ then reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He placed it into my hands, but told me not to look at it until he’d left.

As his car drove away down the street I felt more alone than ever. I had tears streaming down my face and I knew I looked terrible, but I didn’t care (Everyone I knew was at school anyways). When his car was out of sight I collapsed to the ground and shouted goodbye loud enough for everyone to hear. I sat on his driveway for at least 20 minutes before I looked at what he’d put into my hand. I’d almost forgotten about it, and there was an imprint in my hand from it. I opened my palm and found a shining metallic object… It was a necklace… but not just any necklace. It was a diamond studded dog tag necklace on a long silver chain. I turned it over in my hands, breathless, and found the words ‘ thank you’ engraved into the other side… it was… perfect… I held it to my heart and placed it over my head and around my neck. That small necklace gave me the strength to stand up and face what else there was to face whether it be my parents, Kevin, my friends… anything. With my necklace gripped in my hand, I walked home… thanking god for my wonderful boyfriend I’d had… even if I will never be able to marry him… I sure as hell wont forget him and I know he will never forget me. After all, he’s the man who changed my life J

THE END

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Thank You Fot Reading! I really hope you liked my story. I know it wasn't the 'fairy tale' ending, but I just though that would be kinda boring. Anyways thanks again for reading this til the end I know it was kinda long.