thirty seven.

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a day before school starts

"Mama I don't wanna go." Amaya whined while I looked in her closet for something to wear on her first day.

"Girl you still in elementary school. You not doing nothin hard yet." Quenton came in the room and sat on her bed. "Mama I need help finding my clothes."

I nodded and held up a white Polo shirt and her navy blue shorts. "Yeah, this as cute as its gonna get baby girl." Her school had recently started a uniform policy. Collared shirts with jeans, skirts, shorts, or slacks. They said parents were complaining on how their kids got treated different because of their off brand clothing. I think its good that Amaya has uniform. It'll save a lot less time in the morning.

"Thanks mommy." I bent down so she could kiss my head. She pecked my lips then got in her bed. It was almost 8 o'clock so she was tired.

"Alright, let's go baby." I turned her light off and went to Quenton's room. It was a mess. School supplies all over the floor, clothes scattered across his bed, not to mention all his shoes everywhere around the room except his closet. "I want this cleaned up before tomorrow morning." I stressed and picked up a Gucci jacket that had grease stains on it. I shook my head then looked at my son. He was laughing.

"Its not funny. Clean this room up and ask ya daddy to help you. It stink in here." I walked out and closed the door behind me. It smelled like feet and ass in there. And I know my son not having sex, he not crazy.

I walked into Sam's room. Him ands Quavo were talking. They've gotten a lot closer this summer. I'm really happy for that. I closed the door and walked downstairs to the kitchen. I took the bottle of red wine out of the cabinet and poured me a glass. Today was very stressful. Last minute shopping, filming for my new cooking show, and I wrote a few chapters of my new book, Vengeance: Best Revenge is Your Success.

It was about fighting the disrespect with respect, turning the other cheek, basically rising above hate. I've been trying to practice what I preach. I've been going to church more often with my family, just trying to turn my life around and trying to gain forgiveness from the Lord for my sins. Qua's been going too. He's really serious about turning his life around. He even stopped rapping about all that foolishness and started talking about real stuff like how our people are being killed everyday, how to use your money wisely, and how we all need to rise above hate. I'm really proud of him. It took a while, but he's finally growing up.

"Hey beautiful." He kissed my forehead. I didn't even know he was down here, I was too busy in my own thoughts. "You look stressed. Lighten up." He massaged the back of my shoulders.

"I'm just a little tired." I moved my neck around as he dug his nails into my shoulders. I let out a long breath and laid my head against his chest since he was directly behind me.

"Want me to pick up the kids tomorrow?" He asked me. The kids and I have a tradition, I drop them off and pick them up every year on the first day. I've been doing it since Quenton was in kindergarten.

"Uh uh, I got it." I sipped my red drink then got out of the chair. I leaned against the table and looked at my handsome husband. He's too handsome for his own good. He looked so mature. He had his little goatee growing, his hair was pulled back into a bun on his head. He looked so good and grown. Plus, he had on a paid of khakis and a button up Gucci shirt. He had a business meeting earlier about the opening of his fast food joint, Culture.

Basically, its a restaurant with a lot of different workers who embody different cultures. He has Africans, Japanese, Latinos. Every one. And I am so proud of him. He needs to do something other than music. "How was your meeting peanut?"

He laughed and shook his head. "It actually went good. I used some of your business terminology and they wanted to get my business up and running right away. It was great." He grinned. I smiled and hugged him, rubbing his back. He was living out his dream. His real dream. Not his family dream and a race for quick money, he was living his real dream. His dream of opening a business. He used to talk about it all the time but when they're music took off, he really stopped mentioning it. I'm glad to see everything panning out for him.

"That's real good Qua. I'm so happy for you. I know how long you've wanted this." I pulled away. His face had tear streaks omn them. He also got in the habit of showing his emotions more, which made me very happy. He even has the boys not afraid to show their true feelings. He's truly grown up and I can't be happier.

"I really just can't believe it. Its really happening for me. A lil dude from the Nawfside boutta start his own business." He wiped the tears from his face. His eyes were red and puffy. I unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his neck. "Were you stressed when your show started? Will I be stressed? I'm gonna need a lot of stuff now that I think about it. What do you think Yanna?" I watched him continue to think out loud. He was very intelligent and aware. I admired him while he kept asking me questions then answering them himself. His ears shake every time he asks a question and his eye twitches when he's stressed. Then he started to doubt himself. I frowned, that's one thing he hasn't grown out of.

I laid my hand on his chest. His heart was beating rapidly. "Shh Qua, let go and let God."

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now yall knoww I gotta update more than once a day 😂 but on an irrelevant note, offset had the best part in slippery and that's a FACT

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