Can you feel my heart? // Oliver Sykes fan fic.

Chapter 11: Blue bones

We got some blankets and sat up on the sofa and turned the tv on. "When we go sleep you can sleep on the sofa and I'll sleep on the floor" Oliver said slightly looking at me. I nodded and continued to watch the tv. Until I heard a massive bang. I jumped up and so did Oliver. "Sit down" he said pointing at the sofa. I ignored his words, pushing past him I ran up the stairs. I could hear wretching and I wouldn't be surprised if it was Lucy.

And yes it was Lucy. "Are you okay?" I said kneeling down by her as she threw up in the toilet. She nodded but I knew she wasn't. "Kieran" I yelled. Kieran came stumbling in half asleep. "Look after her she's sick from all this alcohol" I said. He nodded and smiled at me. I left them two together. Kieran pulled Lucy into a hug and sat by the toilet with her. They are so cute together. Maybe one day I'll have someone who will love me as much as they love each other. Why would anyone even love me? I'm worthless, pathetic and a huge mistake.

I quietly crept down the stairs and sat back down on the sofa beside Oliver. I played with my bracelets and stroked my cuts. Some hurt as they were still healing. I looked up and Oli had fallen asleep. He looked so cute. Wait what am I saying? I got a text message. I pulled my phone out my pocket and swiped to read it.

Mum<3

Dads gone mad again. He's punched your brother and he's shouting. Please come home Ruby.

I didn't even bother to reply I knew I had to get there and make sure he didn't hurt mum again. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I felt numb and scared. I grabbed my jumper and slid my phone into my pocket. I looked up and Oliver was awake now.

"Where are you going?" He asked me looking worried. "Why are you crying?" He said getting up.

"I'm fine, I just need to get home now" I muttered wiping my tears away.

"It's dark outside" he said the tone in his voice kind of dropped and he sounded quite pissed off.

"No shit, it's 3am in the morning" I rolled my eyes.

"Lol ok go then you bitch" he spat.

What the fuck? What did I even do wrong? I frowned at him, spitting in his face. I didn't even bother to look back and see his reaction. I wanted to get far away from him. Oliver confuses me. One minute his ever so nice the next he's a dick. slamming the front door behind me, I ran. I ran as fast as I could for my mum and my brother. A while ago my dad used to get really mad and he couldn't control his temper. I thought he got better. Obviously not.

---

I finally got home which felt like forever. I knocked on the door. I stood waiting silently in the wind, hoping my mum would answer the door. The door swung open and I was faced with my dad. He smelt of strong alcohol. Anger grew in me, he promised me he would not drink ever again. Did I forget to mention that my dad is a recovering alcoholic?

"Ohhh it's the slag she's returned" he slurred pushing me. I ignored his harsh words and pushed him aside. "What has gotten into you? You were supposed to be better. We moved to have a fresh start and you've just gone back to your old ways like usual" I shouted, trying to hold back tears.

"Don't you fucking talk to me like that" he yelled grabbing me by my hair and throwing me to the ground. "Mike! Please stop" my mother cried slapping him. He pushed my mum into the wall, he opened the front door and left.

My mum was crying her eyes out as she slid down the wall. She buried her head into her knees and cried. I walked over to her kneeling down. "What happened?" I asked hugging her.

"We had friends round. They brought alcohol round, I strictly told them not to. Next thing I saw was that he had a bottle of vodka in his hand. I told him to put it down and he called me bitch. Your bother tried taking it off him, but your father punched him in the face" she cried. She looked so scared. This brought back memories from what used to happen years ago. My brother used to hide me when my dad would come upstairs and beat us. My brother would take my beating sometimes. Bearing in mind I was about 8 years old then. I shook my head trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. I stood up and locked the front door. "Come on let's go bed" I said helping my mum up. After putting her to bed I went into my bedroom.

----

I'm such a worthless piece of shit. No one even gives a fuck. I'm better off dead.
I grabbed my blade, rolling my sleeve up and dragging it across my skin. Slicing it watching the blood pour out. Well that's 5 months clean gone out the window. I cleaned my wrist up and rolled my sleeve back down. Laying back into my bed I looked at the ceiling wishing tonight didn't even happen.

I hate writing about self harm. Anywayssss hope you enjoyed this!!! I was gonna delete it all.

Song for this chapter is "blue bones" by Melanie Martinez.

Byeeee xox