I Need To Be Loved (Ricky Horror Fan Fic) [Book #1]

Pure Terror

It had been a month and a half since I had seen Ricky and to be honest, I missed him. A lot. Like a lot more than I thought was humanly possible. We texted and called each other all the time, but it wasn't the same.

Thankfully, we had the day off because I felt like shit. To be honest, I haven't felt well for awhile. I've been throwing up all the time and I've been extremely tired and achy. I was actually glad we were only playing a half hour set and not a full hour. I don't think I could physically play longer. 

I blew out a sigh and was about to get out of my bunk when I heard Jeremy and Blake talking.

"Do you think we should go have Midnight checked out since we have the day off?" Blake asked. The thought of going to a doctor just made me want to puke more.

"No, I think she's fine," Jeremy responded. I was so glad he didn't say yes because there was no way I was going to a hospital on our day off.

"Dude, she is far from 'fine,'" Blake argued. It was nice to know he cared so much, but I was definitely on Jeremy's side for this one.

"Blake, I think she's pregnant," Jeremy confessed. My eyes practically bugged out of my head. He couldn't he serious, right? I couldn't be pregnant.

"Are you sure?" Blake asked with concern laced in his voice. I wanted to agree with Blake that Jeremy was being ridiculous, but I hadn't gotten my period since Ricky and I had sex. All the puking could be morning sickness.

"Well, I'm no expert, but I think all this throwing up is morning sickness,” Jeremy admitted. What if he was right? I wasn’t ready to be a mother. What about the band?

“Do you think we should get her a pregnancy test?” Blake questioned. Before Jeremy could answer, I hopped down from my bunk. I really couldn’t take hearing the conversation anymore.

“Thanks for including me in the conversation,” I sneered sarcastically, grabbing a box of cereal from the cabinet. I was surprised I hadn’t puked yet, but I was too angry with Jeremy for not sharing his inkling with me to think much of it.

“Well, I’m sorry, but how was I supposed to bring it up? Anyway, you wouldn’t have believed me,” he defended, crossing arms over his chest. He was right. I wouldn’t have listened to him. “You need to take a test, Midnight,” he ordered.

“Ok, I will. God, Jeremy,” I replied, obviously irritated. I really wished he would just leave me alone about the whole thing. It was my body not his.

“Then let’s go get one now,” he suggested sternly. I gave him a look. All I wanted to do at the moment was eat and text Ricky.

Ricky. How the fuck was I supposed to tell Ricky if I was pregnant? Would he still love me? Would he break up with me? I doubted he would be ecstatic about.

Midnight, calm down, a voice in my head told me. I was freaking out about a hunch Jeremy had. I didn’t even know if I was pregnant and here I was having a panic attack about how Ricky would react to becoming a father.

Jeremy then forced me to get dressed and we started to walk to a nearby CVS. The walk was silent, which made my mind race. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to raise a kid? What if I had to give up being in a band? Music was the only thing I was good at. If I had to give the band up for this baby, I would be devastated. I loved being in this band more than anything.

The jingling of a bell on the CVS door pulled me out of my thoughts. I felt like I might throw up, but this time from nerves, not from actually being sick. Why did my life always have to be so screwed up? Why couldn’t things ever go my way?

Just as I was about to start freaking out again, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see I had an incoming call from Ricky. I hit the accept button and pressed the phone to my ear.

“Hey, Ricky,” I greeted, trying to hide my nervousness. I didn’t do a very good job, though. To anyone who wasn’t deaf, I sounded like I was about to shit my pants.

“Hey, babe. Are you ok?” he questioned, his voice laced with concern. It was nice to know he cared so much, but this was not one of those things I wanted to talk about.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine,” I assured him. My response caused Jeremy to shoot me a look. If he wanted me to tell Ricky that I might by carrying his child, he was out of his mind. There was no way I was telling Ricky before I even knew if it was true.

“You sure? You sound… worried,” he insisted. Apparently, Jeremy could hear what Ricky was saying and mouthed for me to ‘tell him.’ I just shook my head and tried to ignore him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I promise,” I repeated. I was really hoping he’d just drop it. I was already worrying about the whole thing and telling Ricky wouldn’t help anything.

“Ok, are feeling any better?” he asked. Thankfully, he didn’t pester me with questions anymore. I really wanted to keep this whole on the down low.

“A little bit. I haven’t puked today, so that seems like a good sign,” I replied as Jeremy grabbed one of the boxes from the shelf. He started to hand to hand it to me as if looking for my approval. I just shrugged. I had no idea about any of this stuff.

“Well, that’s good,” he agreed with a chuckle. I smiled at the sound of the laugh. God, I missed him so much. Jeremy then started to make his way to the register.

“Ricky, I have to go, but I’ll call you later,” I promised, trying to get my wallet out of my pocket with one hand. He had really chosen a terrible time to call.

“Ok, I love you,” he told me. As soon as he said it, I couldn’t help but wonder if he would still love me if we had a baby.

“Love you, too,” I responded before saying goodbye and hanging up. Talking to Ricky just made me worry more. There was no way he’d be happy about this whole thing.

When we made it to the cash register, Jeremy plopped the box down on the counter. The cashier was an elderly women and she gave us a knowing smile. “Are you trying?” she asked. While it was really none of her business, I was more appalled at the fact that she thought we were a couple.

“Um, we’re not together,” Jeremy and I answered in unison. To be honest, I didn’t even think we acted like a couple. We were obviously just really good friends.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You two would be a cute couple,” she told us, still smiling. The thought of Jeremy and I being a couple was disgusting to me. We were just friends and would never be anything more.

After the awkward incident with the cashier, we walked back to the venue and went into the dressing room that was labeled ‘Into The Dark.’ “Now, go take the test,” Jeremy ordered, shooing me into the bathroom. I reluctantly did what I was told.

When the bathroom door was closed, I read the directions on the box and did as it said.The whole time my heart was racing. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking as I tore open the cardboard box. When I had finished, I set my phone timer for five minutes and started to wait. I looked at myself in the dirty mirror and ran my hands through my hair. What if it was positive? What if I picked it up in five minutes and it had a plus sign? How would I even be able to live my life? Everything was going to change if I had a baby.

After the five minutes were up, my phone started blasting Psychosocial by Slipknot. I hit the button to make it stop and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes as I felt the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. The next moment could change my life forever. As I picked up the test, my hands started to shake and I took another deep breath before opening my eyes.