I Need To Be Loved (Ricky Horror Fan Fic) [Book #1]

Trust You

Tonight was the annual Warped Tour bar-b-que. Jeremy had been trying to persuade me to go al week, but I refused. There was no way I was going to be stuck with all those new people I didn’t know. If I went I would probably have a panic attack. My first day of school in America I had a panic attack during lunch because I was around so many people I didn’t know. I surely didn’t need that happening again.

“Hey, Midnight!” Ricky’s familiar voice called after me as he ran up. He had a cigarette hanging from his lips and he was trying to catch his breath. “Are you going to the bar-b-que?” he questioned when he breathing returned to normal.

“No,” I replied shaking my head. I searched my pockets for my own cigarettes and lighter as I felt my nerves go through the roof. Every time I was around Ricky I seemed to get really nervous.

“Why not?” he asked curiously. He fell into step with me and we continued to walk. He seemed a bit upset that I wasn’t going. It felt kind of nice to have someone care.

“Let’s just say I doubt things would turn out pretty if I went,” I responded with a chuckled. I really was not comfortable talking about my problems especially not with someone I just met.

“Are you the only one staying behind?” he questioned before taking a drag of his cigarette. He then continued to fix his beanie which was perched on his head. How he wasn’t dying of heat exhaustion was beyond me.

“Yep,” I replied popping the ‘p.’ I had been hoping that Jeremy would stay behind in the bus with me, but he said there was ‘no way in fucking hell he was missing his first Warped Tour bar-b-que for me.’ I know you can feel the love from behind your computer screen (note my sarcasm).

“I was thinking about not going either. Maybe we could hang out or something,” he told me. I could tell the first part was a lie. There wasn’t anyone who didn’t want to go besides me. I didn’t know why he would rather hang out with me instead of going to the bar-b-que, but what was I suppose to say? If I said no, he would think I was being rude even though I just wanted him to go have fun and not worry about me.

“Um, yeah, sure,” I replied feeling that stupid smile form on my face. It was the smile that Ricky had been causing me lately. I had been kind of looking forward to the night alone, but for some reason I was more happy to be spending the night with Ricky.

“Cool. I’ll come by your bus after everyone leaves,” he told me. My stomach flip-flopped at the thought of being alone with him almost all night. Not even the cigarettes could calm me down now.

********************

A few hours later, everyone was getting ready to leave and I was sitting in the back lounge replying to some Tweets on my laptop. I seriously got so many Tweets everyday. A lot of them were fans telling me that myself and the rest of Into The Dark were the reasons they stopped self-harming and that to me was scary. I was so screwed up myself, yet these people were telling me that I had helped them. I wished someone could do the same for me. Some other ones were from girls telling me that I was their role model, which was flattering, but if they knew more about me their opinion would probably change.

“Midnight! Your boyfriend’s here!” Jeremy sing-songed sticking his head into the back of the bus. I gave him the finger as my cheeks turned red and shut my laptop lid. He could be so immature sometimes. I stood and walked through the bunk area to the front. Ricky was standing in the middle of my bandmates quite awkwardly.

“Hey,” he greeted looking a bit relieved. I was surprised Blake hadn’t started interrogating him yet. When they had thought I was going out with Devin, Blake had actually asked him about his prison record. It had been pretty embarrassing.

After everyone left, we went back into the back lounge. He was currently going through the band’s CD collection. “I think you’re my music soulmate,” Ricky told me with a chuckle. He selected one of the HIM albums and put it in the CD player. As the first song came on, he sat down on the couch next to me bobbing his head to the music causing his long black hair to bounce.

“So, you never told me why you moved to America,” Ricky said. He had put the music low enough that I could hear him talk, but still hear the music.

“I moved in with my aunt when I was seventeen and she lives in Philadelphia, so I had to move,” I explained. The truth was that my mum lost her job and couldn’t take care of me anymore so she sent me to go live with her sister who had moved to America before I was born.

“Do you like your aunt?” he questioned. He settled in on the couch so that he could look at me. Having his eyes on me was making me nervous.

“I do now, but I had never met her when I moved in with her,” I answered. My aunt Addy was really my best female friend now. She was pretty young  and she was always trying to help me. She loved me probably more than my own mum did. I haven’t seen my mum since I moved. “She’s coming to visit for a week next month,” I added. My aunt had never toured with us so I was pretty excited about her coming.

“I can’t wait to meet,” he replied. We were quiet for a while after that. The only sound that could be heard was coming from the CD player. The whole time I could feel his eyes on me, though, and it just made the silence uncomfortable.

“Are you close with your family?” I questioned hoping he would stop looking at me. I’d rather be the only asked the questions than answering them. I really hated talkin about myself.

“Yeah. My sister and I are pretty close,” he replied. I didn’t have any siblings I had always kind of wanted one. It had been lonely all those years without a dad and the whole time I had felt like no one understood. A sibling could’ve changed that. Maybe I wouldn’t be the same person with all these problems if I had a brother or a sister.

Somehow we got on the topic of music and I felt myself relax. Music was my favorite subject. We spent hour talking about the bands we liked and our own music. It turned out he and Chris wrote all the band’s music just like Jeremy and I wrote most of our band’s music. We also ended up liking most of the same music. As he said, we were musical soul mates.

By the time I heard the bus door open, I was actually wising that we could stay here talking forever. I had started to feel a bit more comfortable around him and that was a rare thing with me. While I still wasn’t one hundred percent comfortable with him, I could practically feel myself loosening up and I had actually had fun with him.