Made To Be Broken

Forsake Me Not

“There's a ship out, on the ocean

At the mercy of the sea

It's been tossed about, lost and broken

Wandering aimlessly

And God somehow you know that ship is me.”

 - When You Come Back To Me Again, GARTH BROOKS

* * * *

“Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt.”

 - Bleeding Love, LEONA LEWIS

* * * *

“I'm not in love

It's just a phase that I'm going through

I try to tell myself all the time.”

 - I'm Not In Love, ENRIQUE IGLESIAS

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“Lord Jesus, we pray that you lay your hands on our brother, Noble, and deliver him from this affliction of the enemy. We stand in agreement and understand this persecution of his body, soul and mind is not of you, but a lie of Satan, the father of lies.”

Hands touched Noble from all sides as he stood in the center of the small group, head bowed, eyes closed, tears sliding down his face. Sincere compassion and concern flowed in on him from Rebecca, Colleen and Mason, as well as Pastor Rick and two of the deacons who had been called to join them – it was comforting, having others care enough to try and help him. He hadn't expected this.

It will happen this time. God will heal you. You were just too weak to fight this on your own. But you're not alone anymore. You can overcome.

He trembled and one of the hands squeezed his shoulder as if to assure him he would be okay. Keeping his head down, he slowly opened his eyes and saw it was Mason gripping his shoulder with added assurance. As if sensing Noble's gaze, the man opened his eyes. Noble didn't understand the anxiety behind his eyes. A shadow of fear as he looked back at Noble.

Mason had been the one who had said it was okay if he didn't want to do this. But he did...didn't he? This was his only option to be delivered from his affliction once and for all. Rebecca had insisted this is what he needed to do, that it was the answer. She had shown such concern, and hope that he could truly be healed. How could he let her down? After all he'd done...he owed it to her to do everything he could to get better. To fix their relationship.

He tried to ignore the heaviness in the pit of his stomach as he stared at Mason...seeing so much of Jonah in the man. No. You can't let your mind go there. Put him out of your head. You should have never gone near the man. Fresh tears welled up unexpectedly and he looked down, away from Mason, and closed his eyes again, focusing on the pastor's words. Just listen to him, let God's spirit flow into you and wash you clean. Let go of your sin and open yourself to God. He will heal you this time. He will.

Noble didn't realize he was shaking beneath his sobs until Rebecca and Colleen moved in closer and wrapped their arms around him. But a tremor rushed through him as all he could feel was Jonah's strong embrace – and the reality that he still craved it crashed in on him hard.

Just be strong. It'll go away. You'll stop wanting him...you don't love him.

.......................