Made To Be Broken

Battlefield Of Love

“Every word I say is true
This I promise you.”

- This I Promise You, N'SYNC

* * * *

“But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth.”

- Bleeding Love, LEONA LEWIS

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He stared at the floor, eyes tight, chest heaving with his quickened breath. What all did he tell them? Surely not...He raised his eyes to his dad. “So...what?” he heard the note of bitterness in his own voice and wondered at it. “Don't tell me...Rebecca thinks I turned him gay? That I infected him like some disease? I'm sure she'll figure out a way to blame it on me.” He emitted a short, cold laugh. “Or did she just dump him on the spot? God knows, she wouldn't want to be associated with some filthy faggot.”

“Jonah, knock it off.” Mason ordered sternly, though not without a note of understanding.

Taking a deep, uneven breath, Jonah rubbed his hand over his mouth and released it slow. The burn in his eyes was more demanding. “So what now?” he whispered, his gaze dropping to the floor again. The toe of his shoe followed the pattern on the linoleum. “Is the wedding...still on?”

Mason sighed. “Yes.” he nodded. “Everyone seems to think that the best thing for Noble is to...join the Purity program...sponsored by the church.”

Jonah's head snapped up. “What?” he asked sharp. “What the hell is the Purity...” His dad just looked at him. Jonah shook his head slowly, pushing away from the counter. “No fucking way!”

“Jonah...”

“No!” He ground the word through clenched teeth as he began to pace the floor, raking his fingers through his hair, agitated. “They will grind his mind to fucking hamburger! You know that, dad! You fucking know it!” Tears slipped free and streaked his face. He swiped at them. “You've seen how bad off Noble already was...how poorly he was handling all this. You might not have known the reason yet, but you saw how he was. Fucking anxiety attacks, throwing up. You know,” he choked hard. “what this will do to him. How it will all end.” He backed against the counter and gripped the back of his neck with both hands, his head ducking. “Fuck!”

“Jonah.” Mason left the stool. “Son, just calm down.”

“Calm down?” He stared at his dad incredulously. “And do what? Huh? Just stay out of the way and watch as he's shoved to the end of his rope – and then hangs himself with it?“ Pain shot through his heart and he broke.

“Jonah...” his dad said softly, emotion straining his voice. “Son, that wasn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself.”

“I had him, dad.” he choked on a rush of sobs and slid down to the floor, burying his face in his arms. “I had him right there, in my arms...I should've stayed awake...I shouldn't have let him leave.” He clawed his hair, crying against his arms. “I had him! And then...he was just...gone.” He raised his head, tears flooding down, pain coursing through his body and mind, ripping at his heart. “He was fucking gone!”

His dad knelt beside him and pulled him into his arms. “Son.” he whispered, his own tears right there. His lips pressed against Jonah's hair as the younger man trembled and cried. “You were just a boy, there was nothing you could do. None of us knew what was really going on.”