Made To Be Broken

Monster Behind The Mask

 

“There were endless winters and the dreams would freeze

Nowhere to hide and no leaves on the trees,

and my father's eyes were blank

as he hit me again and again and again

And though the nightmares should be over,
some of the terrors are still intact
I'll hear that ugly, coarse, and violent voice,
and then he grabs me from behind, and then he pulls me back.”

= Objects In The Rearview Mirror,  MEAT LOAF

*  *  *  *

“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:

But bring them up in the nurture and admonition

Of the Lord.”

= Ephesians 6:4

_______________________________

 It took an act of sheer will to keep the car moving forward, directed towards home. Home is where the heart is. If that were the case – then he was driving away from home. Noble didn’t just hold his heart, he clutched it – possessed it. And god, it felt so damn good in his hands. Not since Patrick had he felt anything even remotely close to this. He was sure if he stepped out of the car, he would just float home. Or rather fly. Soar.

Jonah groaned and rubbed a hand over his mouth. Why hadn’t he just brought Noble with him? He did want it to be extra special, but even so…the thought of going home to an empty house, crawling into an equally empty bed when he could still feel Noble’s body touching his, the urgency and eagerness in the man as a lifetime of chains broke and fell away…it was agonizing. Rather than fighting it, Noble was now embracing his freedom, craving it, admitting out loud that this is who he is.

Leaving Noble back at the apartment and driving away had incited mild anxiety, though. He knew Noble had a crossed a line he had no wish to uncross. But yet, there was still a tiny place inside that caused him to worry that something would arise to prevent tomorrow night from happening. It was irrational; Noble wanted it as much as he did.

“Just relax.” He murmured. “Everything is going to be fine.” He glanced into the passenger seat and could still see Noble sitting there, that teasing, sexy smile on his lips as he told Jonah that their date had been all right. Jonah smiled then chuckled low. “Something tells me you’re going to be more of a handful than you appear.” Another groan stuck in his throat when he recalled the handful he’d had tonight. Damn, his boy was packing.

A quick glance in the rearview mirror and he noticed Noble’s jacket laying in the backseat. Take it back to him. Come on, you know you want to. Jonah shook his head and smiled; if he went back, he wouldn’t leave till morning. And he knew he needed to give Noble a little time alone to absorb everything that was happening, to process everything that had happened between them tonight. A low throbbing ache settled in his crotch as he pictured Noble laying on his bed…possibly nude…replaying every detail of this night over and over in his head. Maybe he would even pleasure himself while thinking of it. Jonah smiled and knew he himself surely would before the night was through.

......................

Dad.

Tension and fear welled up so fast it caused a fierce nausea and he thought for sure he would puke right there on the kitchen floor. His eyes locked on his father, Noble barely registered the others in the room. His mom, Rebecca and Colleen. Where was Mason? If Mason were here, he would be okay. But he was nowhere to be seen.