Charming (Sons Of Anarchy)

Chapter 47

I had been sitting in the lounge room in Jax's house. My mind couldn't rest easy, I felt nauseous and overall, very emotional. I couldn't pinpoint why either. I guess it was due to come, especially after everything that has happened lately.

"Ethel are you still upset with me?" Jax questioned as he walked into the house. He had been outside playing around with his Harley. It was still early in the morning and neither of us had yet gone to the clubhouse.

"No, why?" I answered. God I felt queasy, it wasn't a nice feeling.

"You just seem quiet. You're not speaking much to me." Jax took a seat down on the lounge beside me.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just not very talkative  today." I lied. Yeah, my mind was bothering me, everything was bothering me.

"Ethel, something is bothering you, I can tell." Jax stated, wrapping an arm around me. "You know I'm here if you want to talk, unless I'm the reason?" He furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

"Nothing is bothering me. I'm just having a day where I want to keep to myself." I sighed, turning my attention away from Jax.

"But that doesn't seem like you, you're not usually this quiet." He reasoned, shuffling closer to me.

"Trust me, I've always been a quiet person." I state. I hardly wanted to talk, I just wanted to be left alone.

"Except for in bed." Jax teased, managing to make me crack a smile. "There we are, that's the smile I wanted to see." Jax smiled in return.

"Yeah." Was all I could reply.

"Look, I gotta get to the clubhouse. Do you wanna come?" Jax offered.

"No, I'm okay." I shook my head.

"Do you want me to stay home with you? I can just call Clay and tell him?!" Jax suggested, obviously not feeling comfortable about leaving me alone.

"No, it's okay. You go, I'll just stick around here and maybe take a nap." I returned, brushing him off.

"Okay." Jax answered. "I'll see you later, if you need me. Just call." Jax used his thumb and index finger to turn my head, he than closed the gap between us, giving me a kiss. "I love you." He says as he gets up.

Swallowing hard, I took a moment to build up the courage to return the same little sentence. "I-I love you too."

With a loving smile, Jax left me alone at home. I didn't know what to do. I was too giddy to do anything, I didn't have the motivation to watch TV or even read a book. All I really felt like doing was crying. It was something I wasn't use to, I guess my hormones must have been playing up on me. Great.

Hours seemed to pass by and I had eventually fallen asleep. But with having only felt like I was sleeping for several minutes, I woke up to a knock at the door. With a groan, I slowly got up from the lounge and wiped both the sleep from my eyes and the drool from my mouth away.

Unlocking the door and opening it, I found myself staring at my family and the club. "Hey Ethel, you didn't come to the clubhouse." Dad stated, a little confused.

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not feeling the best."

"Oh dear, are you okay?" Mum frowned, very concerned.

"I'm fine." I nodded. "Do you all wanna come in?" I suggested.

"We can't." Dad shook his head.

"Why?" I asked. I was now very confused.

"We are running a bit late. So we only have a few minutes." Mum adds.

"What do you mean, running late?" I questioned, my stomach feeling very unsettled once again.

Mum's eyes grew teary and Dad took a deep breath. "We are leaving Ethel. Gotta head on back home. Shit has hit the fan, Goers are causing drama." He admits.

At that point, I felt like everything had crumbled around me. I loved that they had been around and to hear that they are leaving, out of nowhere? It broke my heart.

"Your kidding!" I choke.

"Far from it kiddo." Jeffrey answers with a sad expression.

Biting my lip and trying to hold my tears back, I found myself beginning to sob. I couldn't deal. Especially not with them leaving, I could barely function knowing that. Standing there trying my hardest not to cry, I eventually caved in and bawled my eyes out. I couldn't utter a word to them, all I could do was nod and hug them, that was it. As sad as it was, I couldn't even comprehend who I was saying goodbye when they all lined up. And that sure as hell was hard on me. But I'd say, the hardest part of it all was watching them all ride away.

I had slammed the door shut and rushed to the bathroom. I had cried so much that I made myself sick to the stomach.

Hunched over the toilet bowl, vomit hurling out of my mouth, I jumped when I felt someone touching my back. When I had a moment where I had finished vomiting, I looked over my shoulder with teary eyes. There knelt down beside me was Jax, a very sad and concerned expression written on his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, enveloping me into his arms.

"No." I shook my head, beginning to cry. "I'm far from okay, Jax." I sobbed. "My family has just left, I feel like shit, we have been fighting constantly, I can't escape my memories of what he did to me. I just can't!" I broke down.

Jax was speechless, I knew he didn't know what to say. So all he did was hold me in his strong arms, rubbing my back soothingly. Just allowing me to let out all of my emotions. And for something so sad and fucked up, it felt good to just be in his arms and cry my eyes out.

"They will be back." Jax finally spoke after I had calmed down.

"When?" I asked.

"I don't know. But it just all depends, we might end up going to Australia next. See how it all plays out." He stroked my cheek, pushing back a few strands of hair behind my ear.

"If you's do, can I come?" I closed my eyes, continuing to rest my head against his warm chest.

"Of course."