Chapter 27: Sadder than Sadness

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     Nagising si Venice sa kakaibang sensasyong nararamdaman niya sa lalamunan niya.

     It was painful. And to top it all she was feeling thirsty. She tried to lick her lips but the action proved to be futile since her mouth was so dry.

     It must be because they removed the repulsive tube out of her throat a day ago which she was half conscious about. Nagising siya noon pero saglit lang… ang huling naalala niya noong panahong iyon ay si Heath na nakatayo sa gilid, pinapanood siya sa malayo habang inaalisan siya ng tubo sa lalamunan.

     Kunot-noong pinilit niyang iminulat ang mga mata niyang mabigat at napagtantong nasa ibang lugar siya. She was not familiar neither of the walls that surrounded her nor the sensation of the reclined bed that she was lying on. Naramdaman niya ang panghihina ng katawan niya sa ilalim ng makapal na kumot na nakatalukbong sa kanya.

     The next thing she saw were her tubes that seemed to surround her everywhere. Confused she searched for someone in the room only to find Heath sleeping on the chair beside her. His hands clasped on his chest while he slacked off the chair. His head bent back not minding its tiring position.

     How long has it been? She didn’t know but memories for a long sleep flooded her head in small flashbacks.


     Venice remembered the flashes of light that kept blinding her. Maybe it was the doctor or nurses using their pen light on her eyes, to gauge her reaction. She remembered being loaded up and seeing unknown people pushing needles and one thing after the other in her body. Heath. She wanted to scream his name back then but she wasn’t unable to do so. The pain she felt on her throat was when they tried to open her jaws while a big tube was being forced inside.

    

     She was in between being obtunded and unconscious for the days that followed.

 

 

     Sometimes she saw Heath carefully wiping her face and extremities with a warm damp cloth.

     Sometimes she would feel and hear him carefully suctioning accumulated fluid inside the tube placed on her mouth, patiently waiting in between intervals so she could breathe when she chokes and cough.

     His warm gentle hands that wasn’t used to this kind of dirty work groomed her without hesitation.

     She remembered once how he said he was sorry but he had to lift her limp body so he could clean her dry and change her soiled diapers.

     She’d see him draining her bag of urine with a determined brow while he recorded her output on the chart next to her bed.

     And lastly all the moments she’d feel the sensation of warm tears everytime he caressed and kissed the back of her palms whenever she’d be grunting and groaning in pain.

 

     She would wake up during those times for a brief moment but her eyes would drag her again to sleep inside a never ending dream.

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