Ravenclaw's Shadow

Chapter 32

It's strange to be sitting with the Gryffindors and Georgiana again. George is holding my hand tightly,as if he's afraid I might just disappear. Or run off again. I glance at him sideways. His lip has been a little swollen, but over the last few days he hasn't been displaying any signs of turning.

"We have a Hogsmeade visit this weekend," Angelina says, "shall we all go together?"

Everyone is nodding, then they look over at me. I feel my heart start to race and my lungs seem to tighten, my palms turning sweaty. Suddenly George's hand feels too tight, restrictive. I nod once then try to take my hand from his.

"You're not going, are you?" George asks, tightening his grip. I yank my hand back and sprint from the Great Hall in a blind panic. I run outside and gulp down fresh air, shaking all over.

"Aurelia, are you okay?"

I back away from George as he comes down the steps after me.

"I'm fine," I lie, "fine."

"You don't seem fine," he says, reaching for me. I jerk back before he can touch me.

"Is this about that night?" he asks, "Ari, I'm not going to hurt you."

"But you did," I say, "you did, George."

"I didn't mean to," he says sincerely, "Ari, I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry. I'd never hurt you on purpose."

I feel tears well in my eyes and George steps towards me. I cringe back. He steps back looking shocked and hurt.

"You're scared of me," he says, "oh my god, Ari, you're scared of me."

I duck my head, wiping my eyes. George looks absolutely devastated. He turns away and takes a few steps to the school. I wrap my arms around me, feeling cold. George turns back to me slowly, his eyes haunted.

"Ari, I'd do anything to fix this," he says desperately, "I never want to hurt you."

"I'll try to study less," I choke, "I-I don't want to make you angry."

"Oh god, Ari," he steps towards me again, then stops himself, "I didn't mean it, any of it. I love you. So much! I don't want you to be scared of me!"

I sink down onto the grass, sobbing, and curl up into a ball. George kneels beside me, gently wrapping his arms around me. He doesn't say anything, just holds me softly until I lean into him. He pulls me close against him, wiping my tears as they fall. I pull myself together and sit up, blowing my nose.

"This isn't just about you," I say, "I... I don't know how to explain."

"Please try," George says, reaching out his hand. I look at it for a moment before taking it. My mouth is dry. I take a few deep breaths.

"My parents are strict," I begin, "I mean... More than you know. When I did something they didn't like... When my grades weren't high enough... They'd hurt me. They'd tell me they love me, but then they'd hurt me. That night... You reminded me of them and-"

I start sobbing again and George pulls me into his lap, holding me tightly.

"I'm so sorry," he says, over and over again, "Ari, I'm so sorry."

I cry until I'm too exhausted to cry anymore, then I just sit, leaning heavily on George while he holds me tightly.

"I don't want to lose you," he says softly. I close my eyes tightly. He kisses me on the top of the head. We sit in silence for a long time.

"Ari, your skin is burning," George says softly, running his fingers lightly over my arm. I feel a twinge deep inside me and look up at him. He meets my gaze, his eyes full of uncertainty. I lean up and kiss him softly. He kisses back, but I can feel his hesitation. I kneel up and kiss him harder, running one hand over his shoulder and into his hair. He pulls back, breaking the kiss.

"Ari, I..." he looks at me uncertainly, "are you okay with this?"

I nod, playing with his hair.

"I don't want you to feel pressured," he says, "or to be afraid of me."

I pull him back to me and kiss him again. He kisses me back, but won't let me deepen the kiss. After a long time, but not long enough, he pulls back and looks at my skin that is slowly turning crimson.

"Let's go inside," he says, standing up and helping me to my feet. I follow him into the cool shade of the Entrance Hall and breathe a sigh of relief. My skin is tingling uncomfortably. I should go and shower, but for the first time since That Night I want to be with George and that feeling is too sweet to let go of yet. He leads me upstairs to the Gryffindor common room. I sigh inwardly. I don't want to be around the others at the moment.

"Do we have to go in?" I ask, hesitating outside the portrait hole. George looks around at me.

"Where do you want to go?" he asks.

"I have a place," I say, tugging on his hand. I lead him down to the spare office I've been living in.

"So, this is your hidey-hole," he says, looking around, "not as glamorous as I'd pictured."

"It's enough," I say, sitting on the desk, holding my hands out to him. He takes them and I pull him close, kissing him again.

"If I wasn't so modest and humble, I'd think you've missed me," he says teasingly. I run my hands down his face and neck and hook them around his shoulders, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Maybe, between the bouts of terror," I admit. He brushes my hair back and kisses me on the forehead.

"I've missed you too," he says.