Crazy, Stupid, Love// Magcon Fan Fiction

Sixty One

~Carmen~

I kept all my focus on the task of packing my clothes into the drawer of mine and Jack's room, trying to ignore him as much as possible.

I just...I just really don't want to talk to him because if I do, I feel like I'm just gonna blurt out all my suspicions and ruin everything.

"So uh, I was thinking that maybe when the snow stops falling, we can take a walk," Jack said.

"Yeah, whatever," I mumbled.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" He asked, walking over to me.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head.

"That's bullshit and we both know it," He said, turning me around so that I was facing him. "You've been off for ages now, and I don't know why. Is it something I did? Tell me, because I really hate this feeling of not knowing what's going on!"

"Jack, nothing's wrong," I said again.

"Since when do we keep secrets from each other?" He asked with a sigh.

"I don't know, Jack. Since when do we?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"Are you going to tell me what I did wrong, so I can fix it? Or am I going to have to play a guessing game?" He asked.

"Madison! That's what's wrong!" I snapped.

"What? What did she do?" He asked.

"Everything!" I said, sitting down on the window seat.

"Carmen, Madison doesn't play a role in my life anymore," He said, sitting down next to me.

"I know I sound awful right now, but honestly, I'm not okay with the whole you and her thing. The music, the video's, the touring together, all the damn hate!" I snapped.

"Wait, what hate?" He asked quietly.

"You really haven't noticed?" I asked, feeling a lump in my throat start to form. "With Madison constantly posting all these pictures of the two of you on tour, I've been getting more and more hate because apparently people "ship" the two of you way more than you and I. And I know its stupid to over think stuff like that, but you honestly have no idea how much it gets to me!"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" He asked.

"Uh, I don't know, maybe because you're constantly in a different state with her," I spat.

"Carmen, you know that I'm only doing all of this to further Jack and Jack!" He protested.

"Yeah, I know that. But what do you expect me to think? I mean, she's your ex and its not like she hasn't tried to lure you back before," I said.

Then it was silent between the two of us for a few moments.

"I didn't mean for it to happen," He said quietly.

"You didn't mean for what to happen?" I asked.

"It was after we just finished wrapping up the All For Love video and we were in her dressing room..." He said quietly, trailing off.

"Oh my god. Please tell me you didn't," I said, feeling the tears start to brim in my eyes.

"I didn't," He said, looking down at the floor. "I stopped it before it could go to far."

"But you and her..."

"Carmen, I don't know what I was thinking, but I swear to god I didn't mean to hurt you," He said.

"I'm not good enough for you, am I? Is that why you went back to her?" I asked, feeling the tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"I would never go back to her!" He said. "You're the one I want!"

"If that were the case, you wouldn't have cheated," I said, getting up and walking across the room.

"Carmen, please don't think that," He said, walking over to me and pulling me into a hug.

"What do you expect me to think?" I asked, succumbing to his embrace and I was now crying into his chest.

"I really didn't mean to hurt you," He said, kissing my forehead.

"I can't do this anymore," I said, pulling away from him.

"W-what do you mean?" He asked. "What do you mean you can't do this anymore?"

"Us," I sighed.

"Are you...are you saying that we're over?" He asked.

Looking into his dark eyes, I could see them become glassy which only made me cry even more.

"Not over," I said. "But we need a break. I need a break."

"But we can work things out! We'll go to couples counselling or therapy or whatever! I just don't want to loose you," He said as I watched a tear trickle down his cheek.

"I don't want to loose you either," I said. "But right now, I don't think I'm at the stage where I'm emotionally stable to be in a relationship."

"So we're not over?" He asked quietly.

I shook my head, using my thumb to brush away his tear.

"We're not over. We're just taking a break."

Just a break.

*****

Is it odd that I cried while writing this? Carmen, please don't hate me. (: