This Isn't Love || Jack Gilinsky

Chapter Forty-One

"Abortion? Abortion, really?!" Jack yelled in a rage.

"Jack," I started.

"No Bailee, don't you start with me. Are you fucking serious? You haven't even thought of telling me that you're pregnant. You only said that to get your mom out of our house." Jack shook his head and stood up.

He walked over to the wall and punched it. His fist went through it the second time he punched at it.

"Jack Finnegan, stop! Stop punching the fucking wall. You're throwing a fit because I didn't tell you that I wasn't pregnant! Also because I, I, want the abortion! I'm the one carrying this child, so I get to choose!" I yelled at Jack.

I was as equally mad as he was.

"You should have fucking told me. I'm beyond pissed that you didn't tell me that you were carrying our child that we made." Jack shook his head.

He turned his head and looked at me. He had a tear stained face and more tears coming down.

"Look, I'm not ready for a kid and I know you aren't either." I walked over to Jack and cupped his face in my hands. "I just don't want to have this one. We can try another time, when we're actually ready."

Jack cupped my face in his hands and sighed. He nodded and out his head onto my shoulder.

"I love you Bailee."

"I love you Jack."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he apologized.

"No, I yelled at you too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm also sorry that I made the decision on my own." I shook my head.

Jack stroked my hair and steadied his breathing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack pulled his head up from my shoulder and stared at me.

"I thought that you'd be mad at me. I thought that you'd yell at me and get angry that I was pregnant. I know that you don't want kids right now. We're young." I shook my head.

"I would never be mad at you for something like this."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him. I can't take it. I hate that I lied to him for two months and didn't tell him about the baby.

"When do you want to, you know?" Jack interrupted the silence.

"I don't, I don't know."

"Do you want me to call the doctor?"

"Sure."

Jack nodded and let me go. He walked into the kitchen and left me alone.

"They said they could do it tomorrow at three."

* * *
I laid on the chair, holding Jacks soft, but worn, hands.

The doctor, Mrs. Lae, was standing on the side of us, getting things prepped. I breathed in a out, heavily.

"Are you ready?" Jack asked.

I nodded and gave his hand a little squeeze.

"Do you have any kids?" I asked Dr.
Lae.

"Yes, two beautiful boys. One is ten and the other is six." she smiled and continued getting things set up.

I nodded. Two kids, two. I've always wanted four kids, maybe more. I want a big family, I don't know why.

I don't know if I should do this. I mean, I want kids. I just feel like it's too early for them. My mom had me when she was young though.

"Almost done, Bailee."

"Alright," I sighed and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you one more time, are you wanting to terminate this pregnancy?" she asked again.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Okay." she walked over to me and got close.

"WAIT!" I stopped her.

"What's the matter baby?" Jack asked.

I looked at Ms. Lae and sighed.

"Will you tell me about your kids?" I asked her.

"Quickly."

I nodded and took a breath in.

"Keegan, ten years old, has big blue eyes. They're pools of water. His dad and I both have hazel eyes, so it amused us when we had him. He's tall like his daddy, but has an attitude like me. That boy is a sweetheart but so stubborn. Kyle, the six year old, looks like his dad more than me. He has green eyes. He always has a smile on his face, no matter the circumstance. He's the caring one, she finished.

"They sound really amazing." I wiped a tear from my face.

"Theyre my whole world." she nodded and smiled.

I looked up at Jack and he forced a smile to me.

"Jack," I croaked.

"Whats up, honey?" he asked.

"I think I want to keep the baby. Can we keep the baby?" I asked with tears filling my eyes.

Jack stared at me and his mouth dropped.