Things We Do For Love

CHAPTER EIGHTY THREE

"But I will go down with this ship 

And I won't put my hands up and surrender 

There will be no white flag above my door 

I'm in love and always will be"

- 

White Flag by Dido.

Kakashi's P.O.V

"Captain, anything else we need to do before retiring?" a short woman spoke to me, her face hidden by tresses of green hair, as I held onto the scroll. My eyes did not want to leave its smooth parameters, and undoubtedly, I was not in the mood to be in Konoha. Those five days in the Land of Keys seemed refreshing, although a little depressing, and it had helped me gain some perspective over my relationship with Y/N. The detachment did not entirely fade away but its residence was only just a little murmur compared to its thunderous rattles over a week ago.

I couldn't exactly explain what I felt anymore and I was done trying to comprehend such a situation. It exhausted me beyond repair, sudden chills would occupy my body while I tossed and turned nights after nights. But Y/N had been alright without me; perhaps, she was already enjoying her independence. She had found something or someone better deserving of her time. It seemed that the entire world was her missing puzzle piece but me. My soul felt rejected, and it couldn't find any rooting to this world. Had I been assassinated, I wouldn't die with regrets. It would appear that I was ready to give up on life, and if death greeted me this instant, I would walk away without looking back. Dying in active line of duty was considered to be of highest honor, and if I were to go, I hoped it was through my sheer loyalty towards Konoha. There were no doubts that Y/N would be mildly upset with my departure but she would find regularity within days. She would shed tears of remembrance over our shared past but then be happy that we both found our ends in an acceptable manner; mine as a martyr and her as a captive who escaped my chains.

"Captain?"

"Yes?" I looked up hastily, noticing the three awkwardly stood shinobis who awaited my orders.

"Are we dismissed?" she questioned however, her confidence shook when my brows furrowed.

"Uh, yes. You may leave. Eh, good job guys. I will head back to Godaime-sama and hand in the report. Yuri, better take care of that fracture."

"Don't worry, Kakashi-san! I am as fit as a horse!" Yuri bumped his fist with the fractured one and immediately, we all heard an audible crunch. His eyes widened and the rest of the members looked at him with mouth agape; even Yuri was befuddled as his left hand turned purplish, swelling in places it shouldn't. "I think I need some emergency treatment."

"Yeah." His teammates agreed and they all rushed away from the Gates, joking with their friend who cradled his hand and was avoiding much physical brawling with his pals.

I quietly remained standing, observing the trio as melancholy washed over me once more. That could had been Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura; instead of the unfamiliar voice calling out, Sasuke would apathetically look for me as I paid them no attention. Sakura and Naruto would be somewhere else bickering about their plans while the knucklehead ninja would certainly plan ahead on his own, mess it halfway only to swing back with full force. Or perhaps, that could had been Obito, Rin and myself. Despair washes all over me as I tried picturing my former teammates in their stead. Would Obito still crush on Rin? Would it be possible that Rin realized and accepted his feelings for her? How would they react to my marriage to Y/N? Certainly, the Uchiha would have protested against it, and I had a feeling that instead of falling for me, Y/N would have ended up being charmed by his adventurous comportments. Perhaps, I wouldn't have blamed her. No, certainly wouldn't have felt awful at that. Obito just had a certain appeal that I lacked when we were young. I wondered every now and then, that if Obito was alive, he would have protected Y/N at all cost. After all, as a young child, that girl was rather fond of the Uchiha. Truth be told, I was a jealous kid who was deeply offended coming second to Obito. For reasons that only Y/N knew, she had chosen my comrade over me.