Things We Do For Love

CHAPTER FORTY THREE

Kakashi's P.O.V

I looked up at the vanishing bluish grey skies, counting small patches of clouds that were scattered above in messy patterns. Night had not yet faded but its remnants were passing away from our touch in order to welcome a new day. There was an undefined chill that shivered me, a hushed village that had not woken and the birds seemed to be waiting for the perfect moment to sing their songs. Amidst such innocent beauty that revived some sort of vibrancy, I stood before three small stone graves. Perhaps, the quietness exuded from the emptiness of the burial ground. Every time I walked inside this place, a touch of disappointment, hurt and rage controlled my mind. There were no words to describe the despondent look on my face as I recalled the faces of my daughters, the disappointment to see my father's name never being mentioned as a hero and the rage that evoked a sense of resentment towards myself. In their cases, I fell short. I was unable to protect them, unable to be enough for their survivals.

It was in these dire times that my entire existence felt insignificant. No matter how many better days I was gifted, the pain of losing my children, the pain of burying them and now imagining that in a matter of few years, there would be nothing but dust underneath this very ground shattered me. Their very essence was rooted in my heart and if something happened to me, who would remember them? Despite my current relationship with Y/N, it wounded me to think that she had remembered me and still forgot everything. Was this a cruel joke?

"You know, your mom remembered me. Uncle Genma said so" I began; the routine silence had stopped bothering me at this point for I came to peace with the devastating fact that no one would respond from the other side. The discolored rocks started illuminating as the night sky started clearing. "I was happy with the slow progress but then she declares that nothing like that ever happened. I am confused, my little ones. Do you think papa is being impatient?" I looked down the earth, eyes burning to find a glimpse of my daughters but like the last time, and countless times before, I was met with utter stillness. "I don't want to lie but sometimes I feel guilty. You see, with your mom being so close, papa has been feeling like getting small little bundles again. That does not mean I will love you any less but don't you think it will be wonderful to have a brother or a sister? Maybe both? I don't think your mother is ready in fact, I am sure she will be scared if I mention it. According to her, we have just started dating. She was always reluctant about having more than two. Nevertheless, she loved you two more than anything. She even changed her diet because of your arrival, see? Now that is a serious commitment. It was nice to watch her wobble because at one point, she couldn't walk a straight line with how big her tummy was. Papa loved it but your mom became angry, she thought I was chuckling because it was funny" I smiled at the memories. Y/N really believed I was going to leave her because she, according to her mind, was not as attractive as before. Her constant paranoia and addiction with her body was something I could never understand. I loved her and continued loving her despite the physical changes during pregnancy, which apparently was suspicious to her. If there were no problems, she would try finding ones. It never mattered when I insisted profusely that Y/N being pregnant was one of the dominant ways of claiming our bond, and as pathetic as it sounded, I wanted Iruka to know whom she belonged to. I shook my head at such childishness and looked at the small stones one last time, "I wanted to drop by before you two started forgetting me. Papa can't seem to catch a break. Don't annoy your grandpa while I'm gone"

Inch by inch, the entire vicinity had been flooded by morning light- a vast contrast to the gloomy aura I had encountered hours earlier. Green patches of land shined with dewdrops while birds chirruped happily. The chitter chatters of woodland creatures began alongside the occasional barks of stray dogs. Konoha had official awakened and from the corner of my eyes, I saw the temple monks entering the grounds with water cans to clean the area. Some had adorned beads around their necks, chanting prayers and bowing their heads in respect to the ones who had recently passed away. The chilly air became warmer and soon, the environment smelled of strong sandalwood incense. Each cemetery had before it a thin stick that released smoke near its residence, producing a calming sweet scent. Unbothered by my presence, one of the monks slowly approached the abandoned three graves. His simple ivory attire floated as he walked, inexpressible face dared not look at me for he had only one purpose. In a gentle rhythm, he lifted his hand to offer his heartfelt prayers before kneeling down and lighting exactly three incense- one for each. I watched as the tip of that charcoal glowed a deep red, preparing to spread its tranquility and cleanse the area of any evil. More and more of those monks started gathering around to pray and clean the ground, beckoning me that it was time to leave this place and focus on tasks at hand. If I could, I would have passed my entire day just staring at their forms and remind myself that within seconds, everything could be taken away. That life was precious and to accept pain was an escape from sufferings, surely one could never be at peace if they constantly ran away from reality.